


Shedding the Shell

by icantsumupmyfandomsinonename



Category: Original - Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Adoption, Alcohol, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Boy Scouts, Bullying, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Gen, Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Graphic child sexual abuse, Grooming, Jewish Character, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Jewish Character(s), LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Murder, Other, Pedophilia, Serial Killers, Sexual Assault, Slurs, Trans Character, Trauma, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:27:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 50
Words: 51,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22257166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icantsumupmyfandomsinonename/pseuds/icantsumupmyfandomsinonename
Summary: This is a work in progress as I write what i hope to be will wind up being a novel to be published. I want to post this on here to get some feedback and constructive criticism, as I not have a proofreader.This story starts out placed in 2001 in Butte Montana.Andrew Michaels, a 7 year old boy who is struggling in school, is signed up for cub scouts due to a lack of social life.It starts bringing him out of his shell, and his parents are happy about that... but then he starts withdrawing again, and they do not know why.There is also a time skip halfway through, showing Andrew as an adult and following him through life then.There will be elements of child sex abuse, as well as adult rape. There are also graphic depictions of violence.
Comments: 46
Kudos: 57





	1. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet the family of Robin, Jackson, Alecia and Andrew Michaels.

The winter chill was starting to set in, and Robin Michaels was sitting at her desk one late afternoon. Her sixth grade students had all gone home, and she had decided to stay in the classroom a bit longer to mark homework assignments rather than work on them at home. 

Jackson, her husband, had started his own carpentry business after years of working for someone else. He had moved his work into the garage, and she was starting to get a migraine off of the constant noise from his power tools. 

She heard a knock on her classroom door, and glanced up. 

"Hiya, Robin." It was Pete Wayne, one of the first grade teachers. Not just one of the first grade teachers, though. Pete had her seven year old son, Andrew, in his class. 

Robin smiled and motioned for him to come in. "Pete." She greeted him. "How can I help you?" 

Pete walked over to her desk, fixing his glasses on his nose. "Well, I wanted to discuss Andrew with you. If you'd have been any other parent, I'd have called you tonight. But since you're here…" 

Robin frowned, setting down her pen. "What about Andrew? Is this about his homework? He's easily distracted, but I make sure he finishes it every night." 

Pete hummed. "Well, in part it is his homework. But mostly it is his…" he paused, pulling over the chair Robin kept in the corner. He sat down next to her desk. "I fear that he is being effected by his lack of success in math." He pursed his lips. "He's started going into a shell. He barely raises his hand, even though I know he is bright enough for those answers, and is withdrawing from his classmates." 

Robin looked at Pete. "I appreciate you telling me." She said after a moment of silence. "I'll have to discuss it with Jack." She glanced down at the papers she was grading. "We'll figure something out." 

\---

She got home just in time for dinner. Jackson had made meatloaf while he had been working. His cooking was the upside of him having the business at home, but she knew it wouldn't last, and they would have to go back to switching off dinner duties. 

When she entered the house, Jackson, Andrew, and Alecia were all sitting by the table digging in. 

Alecia had been brought into the family after they'd had Andrew 7 years earlier. Two years after Andrew was born, Alecia had been in Robin's class. There were clearly some at-home issues with the girl. Neglect was obvious on her from the moment Robin had laid eyes on her. 

As her teacher, Robin had attempted to intervene, but the parents refused to improve. Robin found herself between a rock and a hard place, and she had called ACS. As there were no family members nearby interested in fostering the eleven year old, Robin and Jackson volunteered to take her until someone would. 

Time had passed, and Alecia had slipped right into the family dynamic. So, only about two years after she'd joined their family, when her family clearly couldn't care less about raising and caring for her, Robin and Jackson filed for an official adoption. 

It took a year and a half for all of the proceedings, but once everything was ironed out, they had full custody. Alicia's birth family still had visiting rights, twice a month, but they rarely took advantage of that. 

Robin pulled her coat off and set it on the hook near the door, putting down her bag. She walked into the kitchen and hummed. "Oh, that smells _heavenly_ , Jackson." She went to the sink to fill up a glass of water before joining the three of them at the table. It seemed she'd come home a bit later than she meant, as they were all at least halfway through their plates. 

She took a portion onto her plate and looked at Andrew. His portion was half gone, yes, but he had a bit of a blank look in his eyes. She silently wondered if it had always been there and she was only noticing it now since Peter had brought it up. 

"Do you have any homework tonight?" She asked, looking at the boy. 

He looked up at her and shrugged. "Dunno." 

She smiled wryly. "You don't know?" 

He sighed. "I have spelling. But I can do it myself." 

Robin glanced at her husband, who shrugged. She nodded and looked back at Andrew. "Alright." He had difficulty in math, not english, so she wasn't worried.

\--

Robin and Jackson were lying side by side in bed, Jackson playing with her hair as they watched the nightly news. It was soothing no matter how often he did it. It was just one of those things. The kids were in bed, sound asleep, and Robin was barely watching the TV as the anchor was speaking about a missing preacher from further north, closer to Wakerville than South Butte, where they lived. 

The program ended, and she slipped out of bed and went to take out her contacts as Jackson flicked off the TV and turned out the lights. She rejoined him in bed, and they lay in silence for a bit. 

"We need to talk a bit about Andrew." She finally said. 

"Hm?" 

"Pete came into my classroom as I was grading papers." She sat up, pulling away from him to look at him. In the dark, she only saw the vague outline of his face. 

"Did he do something wrong?" 

She shook her head. "No, not really." She responded. "He said that Andrew is pulling into a shell." 

He hummed. For an aspiring author, he wasn't a man of many words. 

"His math is a daily struggle. We know that." A small part of her was starting to suspect dyscalculia. "Pete thinks that is why he's having difficulty socially. Because he is doubting his own abilities in all fields." 

Jackson sat in silence for a bit. "You think he needs something else to see his strengths." 

Robin nodded. Jackson always seemed to read her mind. "I don't know what. Maybe sports? He's always had a thing for watching football with you." She suggested. 

"Sports could be good." He murmured. "I know for myself, though… boy scouts was always a place I could be myself." 

She thought for a moment. "Sports or boy scouts." She chewed her bottom lip. "Any other options?" 

Jackson was silent for a bit. 

Having this conversation in the dark was frustrating her, as she couldn't read his body language. She turned and leaned over to her nightstand to flick on the lamp, and turned back to her husband. "Options?" She asked again. 

He shrugged, squinting a bit in the sudden light. "He could always help me with carpentry after school…" 

She shook her head. "He's a responsible boy, but I don't want him around those tools. Not yet, at least."

He nodded. "Yeah. Good point." He paused and tilted his head. "Let's look into the options and see what else there is, hm?" He reached over and cupped her face. "He'll be _fine_ , Robin. Don't stress over it." 

\--

It was about a week before they talked about it again. It was Sunday afternoon, and they decided to go to the park for some outside activity. There was an obvious chill in the air, being early December, but it was sunny and clear. So with Andrew and Alecia bundled up, the four of them got into the car and drove to the park. 

Alecia and Andrew were tossing a ball back and forth, playing a rudimentary game of dodgeball for two players. Alecia was obviously being a little easy on her younger brother. 

Robin and Jackson were sitting on a bench, watching the two of them play. 

"He _does_ need more friends." She said finally. "Pete is right about that. He doesn't have a social life outside of school, and apparently that isn't doing too well." 

Jackson nodded. "I looked into little league. The youngest group is nine years old…" 

She looked at him. "Boy scouts?" 

He nodded. "Cub scouts start at age five." 

She looked back at her children, who were now wrestling in the grass. "Cub scouts it is." 


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew has trouble in school and possibly makes a new friend on the bus on the way home.

Andrew's desk partner, Wade Miller, was practically his only friend, though it was a friendship of convenience. It was obvious in their interactions, too. They were closer to acquaintances than friends. Wade often shut him out for seemingly no reason. And the other students? They pretty much ignored him for the most part, and he didn't initiate. Andrew had no proper friends in his class. He didn't go to his classmates' houses after school, unless there was a birthday party. But even then, he was a wallflower. 

Last year was easier. Last year was Kindergarten. Last year… well, last year was easier. Last year he could count up the symbols and get the answer. But this year… the numbers didn't make _sense_. Why was a "5" _five_? What made that symbol represent five blocks? Unless he had visual representation, it just _didn't work_. 

He put his backpack on the back of his chair and sat down next to Wade, waiting for class to begin. At least Mr. Wayne usually started with English lessons, which he didn't find hard at all. Words made sense. Numbers? Not so much. 

Mr. Wayne walked in and set his attaché down on the desk. "Good morning." 

"Good morning." The class chimed back. 

Mr. Wayne pulled out a sheaf of papers from his bag and started handing them out, walking around the classroom. "We're going over the sight words we learned yesterday." He said. "Did everyone do their homework?" 

There were scattered murmurs of yeses, some louder than others, some barely audible. 

"Good." He finished handing out the papers. "Take out your notebooks."

Andrew pulled out his black and white bound notebook, and looked down at the paper in front of him. 

"His. Hers. Ours. Both…" He picked up his pencil, anticipating Mr. Wayne's instruction telling them to copy over the words. 

\--

When school was over, the children climbed onto the bus one after another. 

Andrew went straight to the back of the bus, where there were usually more empty seats. He sat down in his usual seat and peered out of the window at the schoolyard, still crowded with students waiting to board the schoolbusses. 

"Is this seat empty?" 

Andrew looked up at the boy who had asked the question. Why did people insist on encroaching his personal space? 

This boy was new, though. He'd not seen him before, and he seemed to be seven years old as well. 

"I guess not." Andrew said finally, shifting over to make some more room. 

The boy shrugged off his backpack and set it down on the floor before sitting down next to Andrew. "I'm Daniel." He said. "What's your name?" 

"Andrew." He said, turning to look back out the window. 

There was silence from Daniel's side of the bus bench for a few moments. "I'm new. We just moved here." 

Andrew turned back to look at him. "I'm not new. My family lived in Butte for a lot… a long time." 

Daniel reached into his bag and pulled out an action figure. Andrew recognized it immediately. Spider-Man was his favorite cartoon to watch on his VHS. They had three tapes, and he watched them practically every saturday. 

Daniel was playing with the movable joints, not really looking down at the figure as he fidgeted. 

"Do you watch the show?" Andrew asked finally. 

Daniel's head shot up and he nodded. "My mom bought me all of the tapes when we moved because we lived in New York." He said, as though that explained everything. 

" _All_ of the tapes?" Andrew asked in awe. 

Daniel nodded, grinning. "Wanna come over to watch them?" 

Andrew practically jumped out of his seat. Daniel had _all of the tapes_. All of them. He wondered how many there were. Then he paused. "I need to ask my mom and dad." He said. "But I want to." He grinned. "I'll ask my parents tonight and I'll tell you tomorrow if I can?" 

Daniel nodded, grinning. "Alright." 

\--

Andrew pulled off his coat and immediately rushed into the garage, where he heard his father's power tools whirring. He stood by the door. "Dad!" He shouted. "Dad!!" 

His father turned off the sander he was using, turning to look at Andrew. "What's up, kiddo?" 

Once he saw that the tool was powered off, he stepped into the garage. The rule was no stepping past the doorway if dad had a tool on, and he stuck to the rules. 

"There's a new kid on the bus and he has a bunch of Spider-Man videos and he wants to know if I can come over to watch them." He said in one breath. "Can I?" 

"May I?" His father pressed, correcting him. 

"You may." Andrew answered and laughed. 

His father fixed him with a look and Andrew groaned. "Fine. _May_ I?" He asked. 

His father smiled. "I'll have to ask your mom, but I don't see why not." 

Andrew grinned. "Can Alecia come?" 

His father laughed. "I don't think she'll want to join. She's busy with schoolwork. But how about you ask your new friend if you can borrow the tapes so she can see if she wants to?" 

Andrew nodded and rushed out of the garage to find his sister. 

\--

Andrew finished his homework before dinner that day, wanting to be good so his mother would let him go to Daniel's house. When his dad called him from his room, he brought his worksheet down for him to look over. 

He sat patiently on his chair, his feet dangling, as he waited for his father to give the "okay" nod. When it came, he took the paper back from him and went to put it in his briefcase. Tonight was the night to be the best he could be. He even offered to set the table for dinner. 

When his mom came home, he met her in the hallway as she was taking off her coat. 

"There's a new boy on the bus and he has _all_ of the Spider-Man videos and I want to go over to him to watch them. Ca-may I go?" He asked, correcting himself before his mother needed to.

His mother raised her eyebrow at him, clearly with gears turning in her head. "Did you ask your father?" 

Andrew nodded. "He said he'll ask you." 

She smiled and reached down to ruffle his hair. "Well, I'll talk with him. For now, let's just have dinner. I'll give you an answer in the morning." 

He pouted a bit, wanting an answer right away. "I already did my homework, Mom." He insisted. 

"Well then," she chuckled. "I will still give you an answer in the morning. I appreciate that you finished your work before dinner, though. I say that gives you the right to choose dessert." 

  
  
  
  



	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackson writes a bit of a short story, starts signing Andrew up for cub scouts, and discusses it with him.

The words just refused to come. 

The family had finished dinner, and Alecia was in her room on the phone with a classmate. Andrew was in the playroom playing with his stacking blocks. His favorite game was trying to build the small wood pieces taller than he himself was. Robin was in the kitchen, going over her lesson plans for the next day. 

Jackson was in the study, sitting in front of the family computer. The cursor blinked at him in a form of accusation. _Write. Write. Write_. It felt like it was judging him with each time it blinked in and out of existence. 

_I don't know what to write_.

He typed out the sentence and groaned as he backspaced it out. 

He had the basic idea for a short story - a small family dealing with the loss of a child - but he had no idea where to start. No idea which point of view to write from. He had six characters, and each had their own point of view that had its own pros and cons. 

He sighed and started typing out a list of characters and their personalities. At the very least, he could brainstorm. 

\--

"May I go to Daniel tomorrow?" Andrew asked as Jackson oversaw him getting a glass of water before bed. 

Jackson rubbed the bridge of his nose. Andrew had asked the same question over dinner. Twice. 

"We'll see, bud." He replied, looking over at his wife, who was still sitting at the table, working on a test she would be giving the next week. That was what made her a good teacher, in his opinion. Constantly changing the work to fit the needs of her students, and not using the same plan and tests year after year. 

Robin didn't look up, but there was the smallest smile visible from his vantage point. 

"Come on, kiddo. The sooner you get to bed, the sooner Mom and I can discuss this." 

\--

Once Andrew was settled in bed, Jackson joined his wife at the table. 

"It seems our son has a potential new friend." He said. 

She hummed and picked up her papers, tapping them on the table to straighten them. "When he asked me, I wanted to say yes straight out." 

Jackson couldn't help but grin. "Yeah, I had the same reaction." 

Robin tapped the table with the tips of her fingers. "I don't see why he wouldn't be able to go, though I would want to meet the kid's parents and get their phone number before we say yes. Andrew said they were new in town." 

Jackson nodded. "He mentioned he was new." He hummed. "How's this? We give him a note to give the kid with our number. When his parents call, we'll make plans for the next step." 

"Sounds like a plan." She smiled. "Who knows, maybe we'll wind up with a couple of new friends ourselves?" Her eyes twinkled a bit and she stood up to walk over to him and peck a kiss to his temple. 

\--

The next day, after Andrew was off to school with the note, Jackson sat down to the computer. As an aspiring author (though writer's block had plagued him for a long while now), they had signed up for internet service. He waited for the computer to connect and pulled out a pad to jot down information. When he got connected, he looked up the information for local cub packs. He found the number for the closest pack, and dialed them up. 

He spoke with a kind sounding woman for a short while, getting the information from her as she directed him to print out the application forms and where to bring them when they were completed. Another option was faxing them over, but he and Robin had never splurged for a machine. 

After he hung up with the woman, he filled out the form and signed it. He set the form to the side and glanced at the clock. He could try to write for a half hour before going to work on the carpentry, he supposed. 

He set a timer on his watch and opened the document. The text he had written the night before sat there, black text on the white background, begging to be fleshed out. 

He started typing and didn't stop until the timer went off. 

\--

When Andrew got off the bus that day, Jackson met him at the door. 

He was in a really good mood, having written around a thousand words of the story. It turned out brainstorming was all he needed for this words to start flowing. 

"Hey bud." He greeted his son. "What do you say to spoiling your appetite a bit before dinner?" He asked. Besides for wanting to discuss cub scouts with the boy, he simply wanted to celebrate his own progress. 

Andrew's eyes were bright as he nodded. "Can I have cookies?" 

Jackson didn't correct the grammar, and just nodded. "Cookies and milk it is." He smiled, walking behind Andrew as his son practically ran into the kitchen and stepped on the small stool to reach the cookie jar. 

"Uh-uh." Jackson said quickly. "Soap and water first." 

Andrew rolled his eyes and moved the stool to the sink, washing his hands as instructed. 

"I gave Daniel the note." The boy said, grabbing a cookie from the jar and taking a large bite. "He said he'll give it to his dad." His words were muffled by the chocolate-chip goodness in his mouth. 

"Good." Jackson responded, getting a glass for Andrew and pouring some milk out for him. "Mom and I had an idea." He said, setting the cup of milk on the table. 

Andrew grabbed another cookie from the jar and went to sit down at the table. "Mmm?" He asked, taking another bite of the cookie. 

"Yeah, we were thinking of signing you up for cub scouts. What do you think of that?" 

Andrew stopped chewing for a second, and then took his cup of milk, washing down the cookie. "Cub scouts? Like what Taylor is in?" He asked. Taylor was their neighbor. He was older than Andrew, and was a proper boy scout. 

Jackson nodded. "What do you think of that?" He asked. 

"I think the uniform is neat." Andrew answered simply before taking another bite. 

Jackson chuckled. "Is that a yes?" He asked. 

"Yes!" Andrew responded enthusiastically. "I like the uniform. It looks… like police do. Cuz they wear uniforms." 

Jackson smiled. "The cub scouts have different uniforms than boy scouts, but it is still a uniform." He pointed out. "The boy scouts uniform is mostly tan, while cub scouts is blue." 

His son nodded gravely. "More like police, then." 

Jackson chuckled. "More like police, yes." 

"Alright." Jackson took a cookie out of the jar for himself, munching on it. "Do you want to come with me when I drop off your papers? You can possibly meet your adult partner then." He paused. "That's the name for the cub leader who watches out for you and makes sure you're alright and are working on the right things for your badges." 

Andrew took another swig of his milk, finishing the cup. "What's his name?" He asked curiously. 

"I don't know." Jackson replied. "I didn't ask the woman I spoke with. We can find out together, kiddo." 

Andrew nodded. "Yeah." 

Jackson grinned. "Let's set the table for dinner before Mom gets home. Maybe start on your homework too." 

Andrew sighed heavily. 

Jackson eyed him. "Math?" He asked gently. 

Andrew nodded. "Go get the homework and I'll help you out now." He said. "Table afterwards." 

Andrew nodded, finishing his cookie and going to get his backpack, dragging his feet a bit as he did.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew and family go to Daniel's house.

When his homework was completed, Andrew helped his father set the table and went into the playroom. The night before, he'd managed to build the tower up to his neck, and he was intent on getting it over his head this time. With intense concentration, he slowly added block after block. 

He heard the phone ring, and his ears perked up though he didn't move from his place. He kept building as he heard his father in the next room. 

"Hello? … Yes, this is Jackson. … Oh, yes, hi. How are you?" 

Andrew stood up to continue building as the tower reached his shoulders when he was sitting. 

"Yeah, they met on the bus…" 

Andrew's ears perked up again. It was Daniel's parents. 

"Yes. Well, we can bring him over tomorrow after school. Just to meet you all before he and Daniel hang out." 

Andrew phased out then, focusing more intently on his tower as it reached his shoulders, now standing. 

\--

Andrew sat by the table, waiting for his dad to give him his plate. He had small butterflies in his stomach. He wanted to get the go-ahead to go to Daniel after school. He wanted to watch Spider-Man. They had talked on the way home about it, and apparently Daniel had _eleven_ VHS tapes. _Eleven_. That blew his seven-year-old mind. 

His dad set his plate down in front of him, and Andrew took a drink from his glass of water before turning to look at him. "Daniel's dad called?" 

"His mom." His father said. "If Mom is available tomorrow after school, we'll take out the truck and go over there. All three of us, so we can meet his parents as you spend time with Daniel." 

Andrew nodded and turned back to his plate. _Eleven VHS_ _tapes_. That was like… two weeks of watching. Every. Night. 

\--

The next morning, his father told him that his mother gave the okay, and they'd be making the trip to Daniel's house to meet his parents. 

Andrew was barely able to finish his bowl of cereal out of excitement. He wanted school to be over with so he could go already. 

At 8:35 on the button - as it usually was - the sound of the schoolbus outside honking 'shave and a haircut' prompted Andrew to grab his backpack and run out. 

He climbed onto the bus and went to the back, for his usual seat. 

He waited patiently for Daniel to board, and they chatted about Spider-Man all the way to school. 

\--

When his mom came home, a bit earlier than she usually did, the three of them bundled into the pickup truck and headed out to the Demsky home. 

Alecia stayed back to work on her homework. 

It was about a fifteen minute drive, and when they got there, his father pulled into the driveway next to the minivan already parked there. 

Andrew unbuckled himself, practically jumping out of the car and running to the front door. He knocked, bouncing from foot to foot as he waited for the door to open. 

Mr Demsky was the one to open the door, smiling widely. "Well, hello there." He said. "You must he Andrew Michaels?" 

Andrew nodded. "Is Daniel here?" 

The man chuckled. "He's in the living room preparing the videos. I think, however…" he looked up as Andrew's parents came over. "You boys ought to do your homework before you start." 

Andrew felt his face fall. Oh. That was why his parents had told him to bring his backpack. 

Oh well. If it meant Spider-Man on a school night, he was very willing. 

His father and mother stepped up next to him. 

"I'm Jackson. This is Robin." His father introduced, offering his hand to Mr. Demsky. 

"Pleased to meet you." The man's eyes sparkled as he shook his hand. "I'm Sam." He smiled. "This is my wife," he said as a woman walked over. Andrew looked up at her quizzically. She was wearing what looked to be a hat covering all of her hair. "Esther." 

Esther smiled and held her hand out to Andrew's mother. "Hi. Would you like to come inside for some coffee? I just put up a pot of decaf." 

The Demsky parents led Andrew to the living room, where Daniel was already working on his homework. Andrew sat down by the coffee table and pulled out his notebook. The sooner they finished their work, the sooner they would be able to watch. 

\--

When Andrew finished his work, he looked over at Daniel. He frowned a bit. First Mrs. Demsky had that hat on, and now Daniel had… a small hat? He didn't know what to call it. 

When Daniel finished his work and set his papers to the side, Andrew asked him what it was. 

"Oh, it's called a yarmulke." He answered simply. "My dad says I wear it because God is watching." 

Andrew nodded. He was still confused, but he respected it. His parents didn't go to church, and thus neither did he, but he had classmates who went every sunday. 

"I also have these." Daniel grinned, untucking his shirt slightly and pulling out a bunch of white strings. "They're called 'tzitzit'." He explained. "They're also because God is everywhere." 

Andrew nodded. It was interesting, but he was more interested in Spider-Man. 

\--

After about a half hour of the video, Andrew's dad poked his head into the room to let him know they had five more minutes before they were heading home. 

The boys groaned, but they listened, saying their goodbyes and _see-you-tomorrow_ s.

Andrew climbed into the back of the truck. "It was sooo good." He blurted out. "We're watching them in order and the first one is about the goblin and…" he rambled on as his mother got into the car. His parents looked at each other and smiled as they drove off towards home. 

\--

Alecia had already set the table and took dinner out of the oven by the time they got home, and they all sat down for food. 

Andrew was still rambling about the video when he stopped. "Daniel had this little hat he doesn't wear to school." 

His father finished chewing the food in his mouth and nodded. "They're Jewish. Sam said they're here to try and start a…" he looked at his wife. "A Habad." 

His mother nodded. "They said it differently, but yes." 

Andrew picked at his food. "Does his dad have a hat?" 

"A small one, yes." His father answered. 

"Daniel said it's called a yarmulke." 

Alecia popped in. "I read that the first mayor of Butte was a Jew." 

"Was he?" Their father asked. "Interesting. I guess that might be why they moved here. Old roots." 

\--

After dinner, Andrew sat down with a pencil and paper to draw a bit before bed. He enjoyed drawing, and especially enjoyed drawing superheroes. Tonight, obviously, he drew Spider-Man. 

He was furiously erasing an arm when Alecia popped her head into the kitchen. "Dad said you gotta go to bed in ten minutes." 

Andrew huffed but nodded. "I just wanna finish this picture." 

"Ten minutes!" She said, already halfway down the hallway to her room. 

\--

Andrew made it fifteen, and then changed into his pajamas and went to bed. 

Tomorrow, his dad said, they would go to the cub scouts headquarters to drop off the papers. 

Things were looking up. 


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackson takes Andrew to meet the Cubs.

Jackson wanted to work on his short story, but had a table to complete. He knew he could get the bulk of the work done before Andrew got home from school, as long as he kept at it. 

He worked on the table as his mind worked through his story, trying to figure out a title. He was so absorbed in his work and brainstorming that he jumped a bit when he turned and saw Alecia standing in the doorway. Was it that late already? 

He saw her mouth moving as she shouted something, and he turned off the power tool in his hand. 

"Mom's on the phone." She repeated. "She wants to talk to you." 

Jackson glanced down at his work, assessing the progress he'd made, and nodded, setting down his tool. He walked through the doorway that led to the small space that couldn't be called a hallway between their living room and kitchen, and then went to retrieve the phone, which was sitting on the counter. "Hello?" 

"Hi, honey." The slightly tinny voice on the other line said. "What's the story with the cub scouts?" 

Jackson turned to look at the clock on the wall and hummed. "Andrew should be off of the bus in ten minutes or so." He glanced down at his clothes, realizing he was covered in wood dust. "I… got distracted with work, and I don't have dinner ready, nor will I have time to cook while I'm out with him." He paused. "Obviously." He smiled. "Why don't you pick something up on your way home?" He asked. 

There was silence from Robin for a moment. "Pizza?" She asked finally. "Next time, though, just let me know earlier and I can come home to cook instead." She said pointedly. 

He nodded, as though she could see him. "I will, Baby. Just got caught up today." He explained. 

She hummed in response. "I'll get some pizza and fries. What time do you think you'll be home with Andrew?" 

Jackson was silent for a bit as he did the calculations in his head. "We shouldn't be too late." He said. "Maybe an hour after Andrew would normally get home, as long as we get into the truck as soon as he does." 

"Alright." She said. "Enjoy, Hon. Let me know how it goes." 

"Alright." He repeated. "I'll see you later."

\--

By the time Jackson had changed and gotten as much of the wood dust out of his hair, Andrew was home and waiting in the truck. He was clearly excited for the cub scouts, and Jackson was glad about that. 

Robin had been right when she had given over his teacher's observation. Since the start of the school year only four months earlier, Andrew had been progressively pulling into himself. But now with something to look forward to, he finally was his good old lively self again. Never mind the new friend he had made on the bus. 

Jackson pulled on his coat and grabbed the keys, heading out to start the car. He stopped short halfway there and motioned to Andrew, who was watching him from the window in the pickup, and then rushed back inside to grab the form he had left on his desk. 

He finally climbed into the truck and started the engine. "Here we go, Bud." He said, smiling. "Seatbelt on?" He asked as he glanced in the rearview mirror. 

"Yep." The boy smiled at him widely. "Let's go." 

Jackson turned the radio station away from one that was talking about a body that was found in a river. That was far too gruesome for his son to hear.

\--

They stepped into the First Presbyterian Church of Butte together, though Andrew had pulled his hand away when Jackson offered his own for the boy to hold. Of course, it made sense. The boy wanted to feel _big_ , now that he was joining the scouts. 

The church was large and quiet. It took some time for them to find a small sign on a door indicating a cub scouts meeting was taking place inside. Jackson knocked softly and poked his head in. 

There were four boys there, sitting in a rudimentary circle with an adult. The man seemed young, only about 25, and seemed to be leading the group in a knot-tying exercise. He looked up as Jackson poked his head in and smiled slightly. "Hi, can I help you?"

Jackson pushed the door open a bit more so Andrew could be seen. "I'm Jackson Michaels, this is my son, Andrew. I was told I could drop off the application for cub scouts here?" 

"Oh." The man smiled and set down his rope, standing up. "Well, to be honest, the form should be mailed in, but I can take it off your hands and fax it over so the process can move a bit quicker." He walked over. "Hiya, Andrew." He smiled down at the boy. "Want to come over and say hi to the other guys?" He asked. "I'm sure your application will be accepted, so it won't be long before you join our troop." 

Andrew nodded, a bit shyly, and looked up at Jackson for permission. 

Jackson smiled and nodded, motioning with a hand for him to go. He handed the paper over to the young man, who introduced himself as Nathan, and watched as he led Andrew to the four other boys. 

He stood in the doorway as Nathan asked the boys to introduce themselves, and Andrew introduced himself back to them. Nathan folded up the application he had been given, and smiled at Jackson before telling Andrew to head back to his dad. 

"Tell him he should get a call in about a week, yeah?" Jackson heard Nathan say. 

Andrew's shoulders seemed to fall a bit, and he nodded, heading back to his dad. "He said you will…" 

"I heard." Jackson said, leading Andrew out of the room and out of the building. "A week isn't that long, Bud, you know that." He pointed out, pulling the keys out of his pocket and unlocking the truck. "You'll get in for sure, and your first meeting will be here before you know it." 

\--

Robin wasn't home yet when they got there, so he had Andrew start his homework while he called Alecia to set the table. She groaned, but when he told her they'd be having pizza, she changed her tune. 

When Robin got home, Andrew had gotten over the disappointment of not being able to join the scouts that moment, and was telling Alecia about the other boys in the troop. Apparently, their names were Chris, Josh, Keith, and "um I forgot". 

Jackson took the pizza box and a plastic bag from his wife, kissing her on the lips. "Thank you." He smiled. "It smells like you got garlic knots." 

She chuckled. "I couldn't leave them." 

"It's your weakness." 

She pulled open the bag and slipped out the small aluminum wrapped container. "It's not my _weakness_ , Jack, it's a little piece of melt-in-your-mouth heaven." 

He watched her with a soft smile as she popped a garlic knot out and took a bite. "Hey, listen, if I need to go get pizza, I'm gonna get what I want." She said pointedly. 

He laughed and shook his head as he called the kids and started setting out the portions. He'd talk with Robin about the cub scouts progress in bed. 


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew's mom takes him to buy the cub scouts uniform. His dad had a serious talk with him about safety.

It was Saturday morning the next week, and Andrew sat on the one step that led to their front door, using the Game-Boy that belonged equally to himself and Alecia. Focusing intensely, he didn't hear his sister approaching until she suddenly grabbed him, giving a one-second tickle. 

He yelped, his body spasming. "Stop it!!" 

She laughed and sat down next to him. "Whatchu playing?" She asked. 

"Mario." He said, going back to focusing on the screen. 

"Ate breakfast?" She asked. 

"Mhmm." On Saturdays, since there was no school, their parents tended to sleep in, even past them. "Cereal." 

"I was going to offer to make you an egg." She said. "But I guess not." She leaned over to watch him play. "Ooh careful, that jump is-" she cut off as he fell down a hole. "Difficult." 

\--

A little bit later that morning, he was kneeling in front of the short coffee table between the sofa and TV, drawing another picture of Spider-Man as the TV played his cartoons. The drawing was turning out well, and he was planning to bring it on the bus on Monday to show Daniel. 

He glanced up as he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. 

"Guess who just called." His mom said, taking a sip from her mug of coffee. 

He stared at her for a moment as he wracked his brain trying to think about who would have called that he was interested in, and then- "Cub Scouts??" He asked. 

She nodded with a smile. "Your first meeting is next Sunday." She glanced at the TV and then back at him. "So we're going to take a little trip out to Missoula to get your uniform and supplies." 

He nearly dropped his pencil. "Yes!" He grinned, scrambling up to stand. "Yes yes yes!" He rushed towards her, or in reality the doorway to the entranceway. "Oh." He paused. "Now?" 

She laughed and shook her head. "After lunch, big guy." 

He nodded. "Good. This way I can finish my picture." 

"A new one?" She asked, taking another sip from her mug. 

He nodded and retrieved the drawing from the corner of the table, bringing it over for his mom to see. "I'm making it for Daniel." He smiled. 

She took the paper from him. "I'm sure he'll love it. I don't know where you got your drawing skills, kiddo, but you definitely have them from _somewhere_." 

He hummed and kneeled back down, picking up his pencil to get back to drawing. "Tell me when we're leaving." 

She chuckled. "After lunch. I'll call you for lunch. Should be in only an hour, depending on what your dad is up to in the study." 

\-- 

Andrew got into the pickup, sitting down and buckling himself in. "How far is Missoula?" He asked his mom. 

"Almost two hours." She said. "But we need to go to try on the clothes. I don't know how the sizes run." She started backing up the van. 

"Can I bring the gameboy then?" 

She stopped the car. "Get a few books. You played enough gameboy and watched enough TV for the day." 

He groaned but nodded, unbuckling himself and going back into the house to get some reading material for the way there and back. 

\--

He didn't need to bring enough for the way back, as for that half, he had all of the cub scouts reading material to sift through. 

With wide eyes, he read the small pamphlet called "Bobcat Badge Requirements". He read the cub scouts oath one time, then again, and a third time. The sooner he had it memorized, the sooner he could go up the level to Tiger Scouts, which was the level the boys he had met were on. 

He then read the Scout Law multiple times, trying to memorize it as well. 

"Sweetheart." 

He looked up at his mother, who was glancing back at him in the rearview mirror. "You can read it aloud. I don't mind. It's easier to memorize if you say it aloud." She smiled. 

He nodded, and started with the oath first. 

"On my honor, I will do my best." He started, and then repeated it before moving on to the second line. 

\--

When they got home, he went straight to his room with the bags with his uniforms and supplies, and dumped them at the foot of his bed. 

_Next Sunday_. He thought. _Next Sunday, I'm going to be a_ _scout_. 

He reached for the bobcat pamphlet again, and kept working at the oath and law until he was called for dinner. 

\--

He was sitting cross-legged on his bed when Alecia poked her head into his room. "Dinnertime, Andrew." She said, then disappeared. 

He closed the pamphlet and slipped off of his bed, going to join his family in the kitchen. It smelled like there was something with tomato sauce tonight. 

He sat down in his seat, waiting for his parents to give him his serving. 

"Here you go." His father set his plate of spaghetti and meatballs down in front of him. "How was the trip to Missoula?" He asked. 

"Nice." Andrew answered simply, picking up his fork. "We got my uniform and books." He took a bite of his food. "I'm trying to memorize the oath now." 

His father hummed as he set Alecia's serving down in front of her. "And the law?" He asked. 

Andrew nodded, not answering as his mouth was full of spaghetti. 

"Well, if you need to practice with someone, just ask." His father brought his portion to the table along with his mother's. "I always found memorization works best when talking to someone else." 

Andrew nodded. "Mom said the same thing." 

\--

He spent the next morning still memorizing. His father had taught him the handshake, salute, and the hand sign, and he was _ready_. It was just a pity it would be a full week until his first meeting. 

Alecia and their mom had left to go shopping for something (clothing, he guessed. Girls were always shopping for clothing), so his dad made him a peanut butter sandwich and then sat down with him, holding the tiger scout handbook. 

"Come on over here, Bud." He said, motioning for Andrew to join him on the sofa. 

Andrew did as he was told, sitting next to his father. 

"We're gonna talk about something serious now, okay?" 

Andrew frowned but nodded. 

"Because you're going to be going out with a bunch of boys, without me or mom… we need to make sure you know how to keep yourself safe." 

Andrew nodded. He knew how to keep himself safe. Not touching knives was one of the rules. Not touching dads tools was another. Not touching the oven, or the stove controls… but this seemed different. His father seemed very serious. 

"Here." His dad said. "Remember the rule we have for strangers? Don't talk to them, especially if we're not nearby?" 

He nodded. 

"Well now we need to talk about if _they_ keep talking to _you._ "

Andrew nodded again. 

"What do you do if someone asks you to get in their car?" 

Andrew knew the answer to this one. "Yell 'no!' And run away?" He asked. 

His father smiled and nodded. "Good. And if someone says Mom or I sent them?" 

Andrew shook his head. "I don't go." 

"Good again. You should find someone mom and I trust and ask them what to do. If you cannot find someone, go to your adult partner. Mom and I trust him." 

Andrew nodded. 

"What if an older boy wants to play doctor with you?" His father asked. "If they ask you to take off your clothes so they can be your doctor?" 

Andrew frowned. This was different than they had ever discussed before. "I… don't let him?" He asked. 

His father nodded, glancing down at the booklet he held for the next question he would ask. "What if you're in a restroom and someone tries to touch you in a way that makes you uncomfortable?" 

Andrew frowned. "What do you mean?" He asked. He wasn't sure. 

"If someone takes you to the side and touches you wrong, you immediately tell me or mom or your adult partner, alright?" He said firmly. "No one is allowed to touch you wrong in your private places. Never. You tell me or mom right away." 

Andrew nodded. "Okay." 

"You yell as loud as you can, and run away, got it?" 

Andrew still wasn't sure what kind of touches his dad was referring to, but he nodded. 

"And if someone wants you to undress, no matter what the situation is, you _d_ _o not_ take off your clothes. No one can touch you where your bathing suit covers. Understand?" 

Andrew nodded seriously. 

"Good." His father smiled and closed the book. "Now, let me see how your uniform looks on you. I'm sure you'll look _super_ important." 

Andrew grinned and slipped off of the couch to go get changed. He loved his uniform and wanted to show it off. 


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew has his first Den meeting!

Andrew climbed onto the bus, holding his folded up drawing in hand as he walked to his seat. 

When Daniel boarded and sat down next to him, he unfolded it. "Check it out." He grinned, holding it out to him. 

"Ooh." Daniel said, his voice audibly showing his awe. "That's awesome. I wish I could draw like you." 

Andrew held it out to him. "You can keep it. I have tons at home." 

"Really?" 

He nodded, and Daniel took it from his hand. 

He grinned. "I got into cub scouts." He said. "Mom took me to get the uniform on Saturday and I'm practicing the oath and law. Want to hear it?" 

"Cub scouts are cool." He replied, putting Andrew's drawing into his bag. "Boy scouts are cooler. They get to go camping." 

Andrew shifted. "Cubs can go camping too, my dad said." He corrected. "I can't wait… There are four other guys in my troop." 

Daniel nodded. "Are there any girls?" He asked. 

Andrew gave him a look. "It's the  _boy_ scouts." He said. "Duh. There are no girls." 

"Oh." Daniel said, glancing down at his hands for a moment. "I was just wondering." 

\--

The week passed slowly, at least to Andrew. It felt like every day dragged on longer than the last, making it so that Sunday was too far to reach. 

Finally, it was Saturday evening, and wouldn't you know it, Andrew couldn't sleep. He was staring at his cub scout uniform, hanging on the hook near his door, lit up by the dim light of his nightlight. 

"On my honor I will do my best

To do my duty to God and my country

and to obey the Scout Law," Andrew murmured, still staring at the uniform. That was all he had memorized, but it was a start. 

He repeated it, and then turned to lay on his side, closing his eyes. The sooner he fell asleep, the sooner he'd wake up, and the sooner he'd be on his way for his first den meeting. 

\--

He woke up to the sounds of birds chirping outside, and his eyes shot open. Cub scouts! He slipped off of his bed and grabbed his uniform. He went straight to the bathroom, used the toilet, washed his hands, and got dressed as best he could. He didn't know how to tie the neckerchief, so he just wore it over his shoulders. 

He put his pajamas in the laundry hamper, and then went to the kitchen to take breakfast. 

Alecia was already up and eating a cup of yogurt at the table, reading a book. 

"G'morning." He said, going to get himself a bowl and the cereal from the closet. "Where's Mom?" He asked. 

"It snowed last night." She answered, shrugging. "I didn't see her but judging by the sound of a shovel in the driveway…" she trailed off.

He nodded and put the bowl and cereal down on the table before climbing onto his chair. 

"Do you know what time cub scouts starts?" 

She shook her head. "Excited?" 

He grinned. "I can't wait." He answered, trying to pour out some cereal and getting more of it on the table than in his bowl. 

"Here-" she leaned over and took the box from him, adjusting the bag inside the box. "Try again." 

\--

Andrew bundled into his coat, boots, and mittens, and then walked out of the house to the car with his mom. Alecia was right. It had snowed pretty bad the night before, and everything was covered in white. 

Andrew didn't mind. He found a peaceful tranquility in the snow. Until it got ruined by passing cars that is. He also didn't mind it because he and Alecia would often build snowmen and igloos until their fingers were numb, and then mom would make them hot cocoa. 

He climbed into the truck and his mother backed out of the driveway. "Dad didn't tell me much about the group." She said, getting onto the street, which had been cleared by a snowplow. "What's your adult partner's name?" She asked. 

"Um." Andrew thought for a bit. "I don't remember. I'll ask him." 

She chuckled, watching him from the rearview mirror. "Alright." They drove in silence for the rest of the drive, and she pulled into the parking lot. She turned the ignition off. "Careful, Andrew." She said as he opened the door. "They barely shoveled the parking lot." 

He nodded and hopped out, nearly losing his balance despite her warning. He did a quick correction, flailing his arms for a second, and then walked with her to the entrance of the church. 

He led her down the short hallway to the first door, where he had seen the den meeting last time, and he pushed the door open. 

"Well look who got here the first today." The man he'd met a week earlier smiled. "Excited for your first den meeting?" He asked. 

Andrew nodded, glancing up at his mom. 

"How long do meetings usually last?" She asked. "What time should I be back to pick him up?" 

He gave her an approximate time, and then motioned to Andrew. "Here. Why don't you come help me move the chairs, since you're early?" 

\--

Andrew couldn't stop talking about the first den meeting over dinner that night. He kept rambling about how Nathan - his adult partner - had led all of the boys in saying the oath and law, and helped him when he got stuck. 

They had talked about the responsibility they had to the community in terms of abiding to litter laws, and then they'd played some games. 

Andrew had come home with all of the other boys' phone numbers, as well as Nathan's. He asked his mom to pin the index card to the small corkboard near their telephone alongside their emergency numbers, "just in case". 

\--

After dinner, Andrew called Daniel at home to tell him how the meeting had gone. He mentioned (not for the first time) that he wanted Daniel to join the den, but he declined, just like the last time. Andrew didn't understand why. Being a boy scout was _special_. It was important. He wanted to share that with his friend. 

Instead, Daniel let him talk about the meeting, and asked him if he wanted to come over the next week after his den meeting to watch some Spider-Man. 

When they hung up, Andrew went to the study, where his dad was typing away. 

"Can I go to Daniel next Sunday?" He asked, looking at all of the books on the bookshelves. They had three shelves in here, and one in the living room. The one in the living room had books for children his age and Alecia's, while these all looked boring and long. 

"Mmm." His dad responded. "We'll see, but I can't think why it would be a problem." He turned around to look at Andrew. "In fact, I'll speak with his parents and see if you can stay there for dinner so you have more time with him." 

Andrew grinned and nodded. "I think they'll let. They like me." He said simply. 

His father laughed. "Do they?" His eyes twinkled. "I like you too, bud, but I've been told parents are partial to their own kids." 

  
  



	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet a new character.

The air was laden with a deep metallic scent. It was almost intoxicating. 

All of the exciting work was finished, and now came the boring work that needed elbow grease. 

He picked the circular saw and approached the table. The body of the preacher was limp and pale, and it was surrounded by a pool of blood. He had made a small incision in the jugular and let him slowly bleed out. 

The man had shouted for the first 5 minutes, which made him glad that he had invested in soundproofing the small shack. It was far enough from society that he was certain no one would stumble upon him working. However, if there was yelling, and the sound happened to carry… better safe than sorry. 

He slowly lowered the saw, and it shrieked as it hit bone. He applied pressure and it moved down gradually until the calf was completely severed. 

He paused his work every 10 minutes or so to clean off the saw blade. The skin and sinew was interfering with the efficiency. 

When the body was all in neat 4-inch pieces, he deposited them one by one, carefully, into the barrel of muriatic acid. 

He'd spent about a year preparing, gradually accumulating the acid in different stores so as not to raise suspicion. 

Working too quickly would arouse suspicion, and he didn't need that. He had time, after all. There would always be another target. 

He'd have preferred to start the work right when the idea had struck him, but sloppy work leads to serious investigation. 

So he'd bought this plot of land and accumulated the tools and supplies needed. When everything was ready, he'd easily found the preacher. 

After all, he saw his type all the time in his line of work. 

He just had to be careful to find targets outside of his job, because eventually, it could get traced back to him. 

He covered the barrel and then got to work cleaning up the blood, which had started congealing on the ground around the table. 

He splashed it with a prudent amount of bleach, and while he let it sink in, he sat down to the binder he'd bought along with the other supplies. 

He knew it was only a matter of time before he was caught. It would all be worth it, though, if he made it clear what his intentions were. 

He glued the preacher's pictures to the paper and then started writing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note: I have removed the major plot spoiler in the description. I apologize to anyone who read it and had the ensuing story spoiled, but I felt it was important to trigger warn and then realized I can do that without giving context.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew receives a gift from Daniel, and the two of them get bullied on the bus. 
> 
> WARNING: The bullying contains pretty intense slurs. I am updating the tags to warn for it, but I am leaving this here in case the people who are subscribed do not notice.

Andrew was excited to go to school. He had received his Bobcat badge, and wanted to show it off to his classmates. Particularly Wade, who had started being unnecessarily cold in his interactions with him. 

He walked into the classroom with a sort of swagger and set down his bag. His mother had wanted to sew the badge onto his shirt as soon as he brought it home, but he wanted to bring it to school to show it off. 

"Hey Wade." He said, reaching into the front pocket of his backpack for the badge. "Check this out." 

Wade leaned over to look at what was in Andrew's hand. "What is it?" 

"It's a cub scout badge." Andrew grinned. "I got it yesterday for moving up a rank." 

Wade's eyes widened. "You're in cub scouts?" He asked.

Andrew nodded, grinning. "I am." He sat down, setting the badge on the edge of his desk. He wanted to show it to Mr. Wayne after class. 

Wade was looking at him in a form of awe. "Where is it?" He asked. "Cub scouts, I mean? I read about it in a book. One boy is in boy scouts and goes on trips with his troop." 

"It's in a church." He said. "First Baptist, I think. There are four other boys. They're all the same age as us." 

Wade nodded seriously. "Do you have the uniform? What does it look like?" 

Andrew started telling him about the uniform when Mr. Wayne came in and he had to stop speaking.

\--

At recess time, Andrew went to Daniel's classroom and immediately shoved the badge in his face. 

"Check it out." He said proudly. 

Daniel quickly closed the notebook he was drawing in and looked up. "Cub scouts?" He asked. "Your first badge. That's super cool." 

Andrew frowned. Daniel's voice was flat and inexpressive. 

He sat down in the empty chair next to him. "What's up?" He asked, not even sure what to ask or how to ask it. 

Daniel shrugged. "Nothing." He murmured. "Just…" he looked around to make sure none of his classmates were listening. "They can be very mean sometimes. Cuz I'm new. And…" he shrugged. "Other things." He sighed. 

Andrew nodded. "They are mean." He said simply. "In my class too." 

Daniel chewed his bottom lip and shrugged. "Whatever." 

Andrew agreed. Bullying was very whatever. 

Daniel fidgeted with his notebook a bit, looking at Andrew nervously. "They just…" he swallowed. "I wanted to draw something for you because you gave me spider-man." 

Andrew grinned at that. "That's neat! What did you draw?" 

Daniel shook his head. "They said it's a sissy picture." He said quietly. 

Andrew frowned. "I like sissy pictures." He countered. "Lemme see." 

Daniel sat for a moment before finally opening his notebook to show the drawing to Andrew. 

It was a colorful drawing, done with crayons. It was a rudimentary drawing of what seemed to be a playground, with one figure in a dress standing next to a swing set. There were some birds in the sky and a tree on the side, along with lots of grass. 

"I don't care what they say." Andrew said. "I love it." He smiled. 

Daniel smiled back, a bit more confident now. "Thank you. It's not finished yet. I want to add the sun and sky." 

Andrew nodded. "Give it to me on the bus?" 

Daniel nodded. "Yeah, I'll be finished by then." 

\--

When they were sitting side by side on the bus, Daniel handed the drawing over to Andrew. 

"Thank you." Andrew grinned, putting it in his backpack. "I'm gonna hang it on my board with my own pictures." He'd never before gotten a drawing from a friend, and he felt quite happy with receiving this one. 

Daniel smiled. "It's not as cool as yours…" 

Andrew cut him off. "Shut up, it's great. The colors are cool. I don't draw with colors and I like yours." 

Daniel smiled. "I like yours too." He said quietly. 

"Listen to these pussies." A voice from the seat in front of them said. The boy the voice belonged to poked his head up to glare at the two boys. 

Andrew felt his face heat up and he looked out the window, wanting to avoid the older boy's gaze. But it didn't help. 

"You're drawing each other pictures all lovey dovey." The boy's voice was dripping with saccharine disdain. Another couple of kids were poking their heads up to watch them. 

"Fucking faggots." The boy snarled. 

Andrew felt his eyes sting and he kept staring out the window. 

"Back off!" Daniel snapped. 

The older boy laughed. "Or what, pretty boy?" He asked, stepping around the seat to stand in the aisle, right next to Daniel. "You're gonna tell your mom?" 

Daniel was silent. 

"Yeah, I thought so. Prissy sissy." He reached down suddenly and grabbed Daniel's backpack, quickly unzipping it. He upturned the bag and let all of the contents spill out. He then threw the bag in Daniel's face and went back to his seat, snickering. 

Andrew swallowed and finally turned away from the window. He was afraid to speak to Daniel now. He didn't want to draw attention from the bully. 

Daniel slipped off of the bus bench and started gathering up his things. 

\--

When the bus stopped in front of Daniel's house, Andrew gave him a tentative smile. "I'll see you tomorrow." He said simply. 

Daniel just nodded and walked to the front of the bus. 

Andrew watched him walk down the path to his house as they pulled away. 

They reached his house a short while later, and he disembarked. He was grateful the bully hadn't done more, in all honesty. He had seen much worse on his bus trips. He'd always kept to the back of the bus and to himself to avoid this… and now, since he befriended Daniel… well. It seemed he was a target. But he didn't want to lose Daniel as his friend. 

He walked into the house and shrugged off his coat, hanging it on the hook near the door. He went straight to his room to hang the picture up next to his own. 

He really did like it. Not necessarily for the art itself, but because it came from Daniel. 


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew gets some help from Nathan with his math homework.

Andrew had started out feeling a bit out of place in the cub scouts group, as he was new, but after a few weeks of officially being in tiger scouts, he was officially one of the troop. 

One sunday, they'd all gotten there a bit early so they could help the church staff clear up the hymn books after services. 

Andrew was a bit dejected, as he still hadn't managed to finish the math homework Mr. Wayne had given them for the weekend. 

"What's up, buddy?" Nathan asked, taking the books from his hands. 

"Nothin'." Andrew answered, not looking up. 

"Hey, that's not true. And cub scouts don't lie. Tell me what's up." 

Andrew looked up at him and sighed. "I have homework." He said. "It's math, and I don't like math." 

Nathan hummed. "Well, lucky for you I actually have taken a few college courses in math." 

Andrew blinked. He wasn't sure what Nathan was saying. 

Nathan smiled. "How about I speak to your mom or dad when they come pick you up to see how I can help?" 

Andrew fidgeted with his hands for a moment. 

"It can't hurt, buddy." Nathan said. "At worst, it won't help. At best, I can give you some tricks to make it easier." 

Andrew swallowed. He didn't want Nathan to see how bad he was at math. Nathan liked him, and if he saw how bad he was… 

Nathan gave him a reassuring smile and put his hand on his shoulder. "Think about it. I could really help you. Tell me what you think after the den meeting is over, hm?" 

Andrew nodded and went back to collecting the hymn books. 

\--

The homework was weighing on his mind through the entire den meeting, and he finally came around to the idea of having Nathan help him out. 

When his mom came to pick him up, Nathan spoke with her, and they arranged for him to come to the house and help him out after dinner that night. 

As they were walking out to the car, his mom asked him how school was going. 

Andrew just shrugged, getting into the back. 

His mother sighed and got into the driver's seat. "Hopefully Nathan can give you a hand with some tricks to make math easier. He seems happy to help." 

Andrew nodded. "I guess." 

She smiled at him in the rearview mirror. "We're going to go for a quick grocery run, alright kiddo?" She pulled out of the church parking lot. "We can get some good cookies for you to have while you work with Nathan, how's about that?" 

Andrew nodded again, smiling now. "Yeah."

\--

Nathan showed up to the house just about a half hour after they'd finished cleaning up the dinner table. 

He smiled brightly as Andrew opened the door for him. "Hey, Bud." He said, stepping in. "Is your mom home?" 

Andrew nodded. "She's in the kitchen. Dad is in the study." He led Nathan to the living room, where he usually did his homework. He had a desk in his room, one that had belonged to Alecia before she got a larger one, but he preferred the living room. At his desk, his legs didn't touch the floor. In the living room, he could sit on his knees and lean on the coffee table. 

"Here we go." Nathan smiled, sitting down on the sofa. "Let's take a look, shall we?" 

\--

It hadn't necessarily been easier, but it was more enjoyable. Nathan had made it close to _fun_ with his examples. Instead of just being "3+8", it was three boys and eight girls. And Nathan actually encouraged him to use his fingers, which Andrew always tried to avoid doing. He felt that his classmates would mock him for it. But Nathan assured him he was safe in his own house. 

When they finished the worksheet, Nathan went into the kitchen to talk with Andrew's mother while Andrew doodled on the back of his worksheet. 

After a short while, Nathan popped his head back into the living room. "Well, I'm off, Buddy." He smiled. "But next time I come, I have some ideas to make the work a bit easier." 

Andrew nodded and smiled. "Good night." 

"Night, Bud." 

\--

That Tuesday evening, Andrew sat by the coffee table, waiting for his adult partner. When Nathan came into the room, he smiled up at him brightly. 

"Heya, Bud." Nathan smiled, setting the bag he'd brought with him down. "Let's take a look at your homework, hm?" 

Andrew nodded and pulled his notebook out of his backpack. "It's subtraction." He said, feeling a bit overwhelmed. 

Nathan smiled. "And that's fine. I brought a few tools to help us along." He pulled out a few containers, the contents inside clattering a bit as he shook them before setting them down. He then took out something that looked like a tiny version of the foldable clothes dryer Andrew's mom sometimes used. It had colorful beads on the small wooden sticks. 

"This is called an abacus." Nathan explained. "Have you used one of these in school?" 

Andrew shook his head. 

"Well, here's how it works." His adult partner leaned forward and explained how it worked and what it was for. 

Andrew listened intently, playing with the beads as Nathan spoke. 

After the explanation was finished, Nathan asked Andrew if he preferred using small blocks for his homework, or if he wanted to try the abacus. 

Curious, Andrew asked to use the abacus. As they worked, Nathan walked him through it gently, helping him move the beads from side to side as they worked on the problems. 

Nathan encouraged him and put his hand over Andrew's when he became confused, moving the beads along with him until it was just right. 

\--

When they finished his homework, Nathan asked him if he wanted to watch some TV together. 

Andrew went to ask his mom, and when she said they could, he hurried back to the room and got the remote from the tv stand, bringing it to his spot at the corner of the coffee table as he turned on the tv and put on Cartoon Network. 

"What, am I contagious?" Nathan asked, his voice teasing. "Get up here on the sofa." 

Andrew smiled and sat down on the sofa, leaning back as he started watching the TV. 

Nathan budged a bit closer to him, and they watched the show together until Andrew's mother came and told them it was time for him to prepare for bed. 


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew spends some time with Nathan after coming to cub scouts late.

Andrew felt better bringing in his homework since Nathan started helping him. 

He sat down to his English homework, which he did easily enough without even his parents' help. He chewed on the back of his pencil as he thought of which word fit the images on the worksheets. 

Alecia walked into the kitchen and dropped her backpack on the chair next to him, going to the refrigerator and taking out a bottle of juice. "God, I hate school." She grumbled, pouring out a glass. "You're lucky it's just plus and minus. Just _wait_ until you reach Algebra." 

Andrew looked up at her. "What's Algebra?" He asked. 

"Tenth grade math." She said, moving her bag and sitting down next to him. She pulled the pencil out of his hand and scribbled something on the margin of his english worksheet. "Look at this." She turned the paper to him. 

Even if he'd not have difficulty with numbers… "Are those…" he looked up at her. "Are those _letters_?" He asked. 

She nodded, taking a drink from her glass. 

"How do you math with _letters_?" He asked incredulously.

She laughed and grabbed his eraser to get the formula she'd written off of his paper. "With magic." 

He stared at her. "What?" 

She rolled her eyes. "I'm kidding. It's hard, but it's possible. I can't explain it, though. You've gotta wait till you're my age." 

\--

Andrew walked into the den meeting room a bit late that sunday. His mom had gotten stuck on the phone with one of her student's parents, and she hadn't been able to get to the car until it was a good twenty minutes late. 

Nathan motioned for him to join them at the table. The boys were finishing up the bird houses they had started building the week before, and Andrew's was sitting out waiting for him. 

"You're a bit late, kiddo, so I think you should stay a bit after everyone today to catch up so you're not behind next week, hm?" He asked. "I'll call your mom in fifteen minutes to let her know to pick you up later." He smiled. 

Andrew nodded and climbed onto the bench, getting straight to work with the popsicle sticks he'd painted the week before. 

\--

After the other boys left, Nathan sat down next to him on the small bench. "Good job so far." He smiled at him. "I doubt you'll even have to take the full twenty minutes I asked your mother for." 

Andrew smiled. He enjoyed the compliments he got from Nathan. They always made him feel special. 

"How's about this?" Nathan asked. "When you're all caught up to the others, we can do something special." He suggested. "I'm working on a project of pictures of my favorite things. And since you're my favorite cub scout…" 

Andrew looked up. "I'm your favorite?" 

Nathan chuckled. "Of _course,_ silly. What did you think? But don't tell anyone, because I don't want anyone to feel bad." 

Andrew nodded and carefully put some glue on the popsicle stick he was holding. 

"I wouldn't offer to tutor just anyone…" Nathan said, putting his hand on the small of Andrew's back. 

Andrew smiled at the compliment. Nathan always knew how to make him feel good about himself. 

\--

After Nathan deemed he was caught up sufficiently, he brought Andrew to the back of the room and took a camera out of the tote bag in which he usually kept the cub scouts supplies. 

"There we go." He smiled at Andrew. "Now, let's see your cub scouts sign." He lifted the camera to his face. 

Andrew grinned and lifted his right hand, holding two fingers up. 

There was a click from the camera, and Nathan nodded. "Now put your fists on your hips and puff out your chest, because you're proud of yourself." He instructed. 

Andrew did so, grinning happily. He enjoyed the special attention he got from his adult partner. 

"Good job." Nathan smiled at him. "Let's do a few more poses and then we'll clean up here and wait for your mom, hm?" 

\--

Andrew sat down at his desk after changing out of his cub scouts uniform, pulling out his pencils and a fresh piece of paper. He wanted to draw something for Nathan. 

He thought for a bit, and then started drawing the cub scouts logo. He drew until his father called him for dinner. He assessed at the drawing, and then gave a stern nod. It was good. 

He slipped off the chair and went to join his family in the kitchen. 

"So, how was cub scouts?" His mother asked, spooning some cooked green beans onto his plate. "You stayed a bit late after the other boys… how was that?" 

"Awesome." Andrew responded with a smile. "I worked on my bird house and then Nathan took some pictures." 

"Oh?" His mom asked. 

Andrew paused. Oh. Nathan had told him it should he a secret, so no one gets jealous that he's the favorite. After a few moments of silence, he nodded. "Yeah, of my birdhouse." He lied. "It was cool. He liked it. Said he wanted to put it in his album." 

Alecia huffed. "It's just a birdhouse." She said. "What's so special about that?" 

"Dunno." Andrew said, shrugging as he took a bite of his food. 

\--

The next day, as they were waiting to board the bus after school, Daniel asked Andrew if he'd like to spend the night the next Sunday. His parents said it was alright, and they could watch as much Spider-Man between dinner and bedtime. 

When Andrew got home, he went straight to the garage, where he heard his father working. "Dad!" He called over the noise of the tools. 

His father looked up and turned off the circular saw he was using. "What's up, Buddy?" He asked. 

"Can I sleep over at Daniel's on Sunday? His parents said I can…" 

His father smiled. "Did they?" He asked. "Well, I'll have to talk to mom. Wouldn't Saturday be better? This way you don't have to wake up early for school…" 

Andrew shrugged. "He said Sunday." 

His father hummed. "I'll speak to Mom and then discuss it with his parents, alright?" 

Andrew nodded. "Alright." He paused. "What are you building?" 

His father looked down at his work. "This is going to be a desk for Mr. Randall down the road." 

Andrew nodded seriously. "Can I help you finish it? Stain it?" 

His father chuckled. "Sure, kiddo." He nodded. "I'll save the staining until you get home from school tomorrow." 


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew and Daniel have a talk, then take the bus with the bullies again.

Andrew had his pajamas and clothes for the next day packed tightly in his backpack. He stood on the stoop to Daniel's house, glancing back at his dad in the car as he knocked on the door. 

The door was pulled open, and Daniel stood there with a wide smile on his face. "Come on!" He said, grabbing Andrew's hand and yanking him into the house. 

"Bye, Dad!" Andrew shouted as the door closed behind him. 

Daniel laughed and led Andrew to his bedroom. "Check it." He pointed to the blow-up mattress next to the proper bed. "I'll sleep on there. You get the bed 'cuz you're the guest." 

"Thank you." Andrew looked around the room. It was… different than he expected. He expected Daniel's room to be much like his, but there were subtle differences. Namely the color. The walls were painted a soft purple. 

Daniel was staring at him, apparently a bit unsure. "I…" he shifted. 

Andrew's eyes fell on the bed. "Is that a Barbie?" 

Daniel was silent for a few moments. "Mm hmm." His voice was quiet. 

"That's… cool." Andrew said finally. "My sister had a bunch. If you want I can ask my mom if we still have them." 

Daniel's eyes brightened at that. "What? Yeah! Can you?"

Andrew grinned. "Yeah." He shrugged. "I don't want 'em, and she's too old." 

Daniel hopped onto his bed and shoved the doll to the side. "Thank you." He smiled at Andrew. "For… for not making fun of me, too." 

Andrew frowned. "Why would I make fun of you?" He asked, genuinely confused. "You're my friend and I'm not a bully." 

Daniel shrugged. "My old friends did." He murmured. "Even my best friend. She said I…" He shrugged. "Forget it." 

Andrew stepped over and shook his head. "What did she say?" 

Daniel sighed. "She said I'm just a freak. I told her I…" he looked at the wall behind Andrew. "I'm not a boy." He said quietly. 

Andrew blinked. "But you are." 

Daniel shook his head. "I'm not. I mean I _am,_ everyone sees that I am. But I don't. I'm not." 

Andrew stared at him for a few moments. "I… okay, you're not a boy." He said finally. "So what are you?" 

Daniel looked at him. "I want to be a girl." He said quietly. "I am a girl. But I'm not." 

Andrew sat down on the edge of the bed. "Then you're a girl." He said simply. "So what?" He shrugged. "Girls are cool too." He smiled. "Alecia's cool, and she's a girl." 

Daniel smiled at him, clearly grateful. "Thank you." He said softly. "But… you can't tell anyone." He pressed. "No one. Not even your mom and dad. Then everyone will know, and I'll…" he shrugged. "Everyone will think I'm a freak."

Andrew frowned. "You're _not_ a freak." He snapped. "You're my friend. You're cool. Just because you're a girl doesn't make you not cool." 

Daniel nodded and reached for the Barbie. "I know." He fiddled with the blonde hair on the doll. "My mom tells me that all the time." He said quietly. "She says I can't tell anyone, though, because they won't understand. But you're my friend, and I couldn't lie to you." 

Andrew smiled at him gently. "Well." He shrugged. "Yeah, I'm you're friend. You don't _need_ to lie to me." 

They sat in silence for a bit. 

"Spider-Man?" Daniel asked finally. 

\--

After dinner and some more TV, Daniel's parents sent them to bed. 

Andrew was laying in Daniel's bed, staring up at the ceiling. 

"How do you know you're a girl, though?" He asked. 

There was the sound of shifting from the blow-up bed next to him, and he turned to look. Daniel had turned onto his side to look at him. 

"Cuz like…" Andrew motioned with his hands. "How do _I_ know I'm a boy?" 

Daniel shrugged. "I dunno." He said. "I just know. I always knew." He was silent for a bit. "I always played with girl toys. I want to learn how to put on makeup. And I want to look different. All of the girls are so pretty, and I'm…" 

Andrew frowned at the sadness in his friend's voice. "You look like you. But that's not bad." 

Daniel shrugged. "I want to look different. Like the girls I see in the magazines." 

Andrew nodded a bit. He could understand that, if only a bit. He wanted to look like a proper boy scout. 

"My mom says that when I get older I can change how I look." He said quietly. "So I'm happier." He paused. "So I can be a real girl." 

Andrew chuckled at that. 

"What?" Daniel asked. 

"You're like a girl pinocchio." 

"What? No, I…"

"Yeah, you are." He said pointedly. "Pinocchio was always a boy because he was a boy." He said simply. "He wanted the blue fairy to make him into a _real_ boy. But he always was one." 

There was silence for a while from the other bed, and shuffling as Daniel settled down again. 

"Thank you." The girl whispered. 

\--

The next morning, Andrew and Daniel got dressed and had breakfast before going outside to wait for the bus. 

They climbed onto the bus, one after the other, and walked down the aisle to their usual seats. 

Andrew stopped still, though, just a few feet away. The boy who had given them a hard time was glaring at them. 

"What the fuck." The boy said. "You slept over?" He shoved Andrew back, pushing him with a thrust to his shoulder. "Jeez, I knew you were a faggot, but this is something else." 

Andrew stared at him. 

The older boy smirked and shoved him again, this time harder. 

Andrew was knocked back against the seatback he was standing next to, and grunted. 

"We don't want faggots on this bus." The boy said coldly. "Gay people make everyone sick. It's like cooties but for real." 

Andrew straightened up. "That's not true." 

"Oh yes it is." The older boy countered. "My dad said that." 

Andrew tried to walk to his seat again, only the attempt earned him a slap in the face. "We don't want you on the bus." The boy snarled. "You or your boyfriend." 

Andrew looked at Daniel, who was sitting in her usual seat, gripping her bag tightly. Her lips were pressed tightly together as she watched. 

The older boy yanked him forward by his shirt. "At least _pretend_ to be normal." He released him then, turning back to laugh with his friends. 

Andrew swallowed thickly and went to sit in his seat next to Daniel. 

Daniel reached over and gently touched his cheek. "You okay?" 

Andrew nodded, but he didn't speak. He thought if he tried, his voice would betray how close he was to crying. 

Why was the boy so cruel? Why did bullies have to pick on people different than them?


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We take a peek at a background character again.

It took two weeks of planning before he was ready for his second target. He mapped out the man's schedule and discovered that the man regularly went outside of his house at night to smoke. 

So, after taking a fair amount if time to surveil the man's house, making sure no one tended to look out their windows in the time he was planning to strike, he hid his car across the way and waited in the dark around the corner of the house with the small bottle of chloroform and a rag. 

When he heard the screen door opening, he carefully unscrewed the cap of the bottle and poured some of the liquid out onto the rag. 

He waited, standing perfectly still, as the man walked to his usual spot, right around the edge of the house and about a foot in. 

He waited until he heard the lighter flick, and a deep inhale and exhale before rounding the corner quickly and grabbing the man, shoving the rag in his face. 

The man gave a muffled shout, but he was confident no one would have heard. People in the nearby houses were all preparing for dinner. 

When the man slumped in his arms, he deposited him in the bushes. He went to pull his car around, quickly shoving the man into the trunk. He glanced around, making sure no one was around, and hopped into the driver's seat, pulling away. 

After driving for a short while, when he was sure they were in a deserted area, he put the car in park and went back to the rear of the car to dose up another rag and tie it around the man's face to assure he wouldn't wake up. 

\--

He made sure the man was properly bound to the table, and gagged tightly so even if he yelled, it would be muffled. He prepared his tools, the scalpels, the surgical scissors, and his newest purchase; an IV needle and line, jury rigged to connect to a hand pump. He was curious about this. He'd done some reading, but wasn't sure exactly how long this would take. 

He leaned over the unconscious man. It would only be a few minutes before he would wake, and then the fun would begin. 

After a short while, the man blinked his eyes open. He lay still for a moment and then his eyes widened. He tried to pull against his restraints, but they were bound too tight. 

He smiled down at him and brushed his fingers over the man's forehead. "Well, you slept well." He smiled. "Let's get started, shall we?" 

\--

Setting up the intravenous line had been hard, with the man struggling, but once he got it in, he slowly pumped air into the line and thus into the man's bloodstream. 

He watched carefully as the man started to wheeze and gasp, and his pallor go from almost pink to close to grey. 

Finally, the man arched up, shouting into the gag. 

There it was. The heart attack. 

\--

He worked on breaking down the man's body, and then added the four-inch pieces to the vat where the previous target's body had previously dissolved. 

He then sat down to his binder, adding a second page for his second target. 


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel chooses a new name and Andrew's mom brings up special help he can have with his school struggles.

Andrew chewed the inside of his cheek as he stared down at the homework before him. He was using the tricks Nathan had taught him, but it was still hard to match the numbers before him to the amount of fingers he was supposed to use. He wrote the numbers he knew on the top of the page, in the order he thought they were supposed to go. 

There was a knock from behind him, and he turned to see Nathan standing there, holding his bag. "Don't strain yourself, Andrew." He said gently, walking into the living room. 

Andrew sighed and leaned back. "It's still not working." 

Nathan hummed and sat down, taking out the tools he'd brought. "I don't think it'll get much easier in your head." He said gently. "But we can make it easier out here with tools." He said. "I spoke to your mom about some things we can do about the math you need to do in school." 

Andrew frowned. "Will my class know?" He asked quietly.

Nathan looked at him seriously. "Would you rather they not know and you keep struggling?" He asked. 

Andrew shrugged, looking back down at his paper. "I dunno." He murmured. 

"Well, you don't need to make a decision now." He said softly. "We can just work on tonight's homework." 

Andrew nodded and picked up his pencil again as Nathan took the different number blocks out of their containers. 

\-- 

The next day after school, Andrew got off of the bus along with Daniel. Their parents had arranged for them to spend dinner together, and then Daniel's parents would bring him home afterwards. 

Andrew was sitting on the floor, drawing his own design for a superhero on a lined sheet of paper Daniel had ripped out of her notebook. 

Daniel joined Andrew on the floor to look at his drawing. "What's his name?" She asked curiously. 

"Um." Andrew thought for a few moments, and looked at the elements of the character. He had knives in both hands. "The Knife Master." He said finally. "He can throw them, and his superpower is he can call them back like a boomerang." 

"Wow." Daniel said quietly. "That's real cool." She sat up then, crossing her legs as she watched her friend draw. 

They sat in silence for a bit before she spoke up again. "Can you stop calling me Daniel?" She asked finally. "It's. It's a boy's name." 

Andrew stopped drawing briefly and glanced back at her. "What do you want me to call you?" 

"Dani." She answered almost immediately. "It's a girl's name, right?" 

Andrew hummed. "I think so." He said, nodding. "But don't you think people in school…" 

Daniel shook her head. "I think they'll think it's a boy's name." 

Andrew nodded, and went back to his drawing. "Alright." 

Dani sat there in silence for a bit. "You're the best best friend I ever had." 

Andrew smiled as he kept drawing. "You too." 

\--

After dinner the next night, Andrew's mom sat down next to him at the table after she finished cleaning the leftovers off the table. "Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something Nathan brought up." She said softly. 

Andrew looked up from the book he was reading. 

"Your dad and I think that we want to see if we can get you some special help with math in school." She said softly. "Extra time on tests, and maybe even written out examples instead of just numbers. Nathan said you find those easier."

Andrew nodded after a few moments of silence. 

She sighed and put her hand on top of his. "I've made an appointment with someone who can test you and then we'll go from there." She said gently. "I think it would be good for you, to see that you can do it. Alright?"

Andrew looked at her and nodded. 

She smiled and ruffled his hair as she stood up. "I know you don't want it, Sweetheart." She said softly, leaning over to press a kiss to the top of his head. "But I think you need it, and it will be good eventually. It's not making you any happier to struggle every day." 

He looked back down at his book. "I just… I don't want my class to know. They laugh at me enough when I have to do examples on the board." 

She went to the freezer and returned with an ice pop for him. "I know, Honey. But think about it this way; if we don't take care of it now, you'll always struggle with it." She sighed. "Maybe even if we do get you help now, you will. But at least you'll have tools to help you out when you're older." 

He took the ice pop from her and sighed. "I don't want to do math when I'm older." He grumbled. "I saw the math Alecia has to do in her grade. It's too hard." 

His mom chuckled at that. "You have a few years until you get to tenth grade, Andrew."

"Not enough, for that math." 

She sat back down with him. "If the person we go to for the test says what we think they will, you'll be able to get a tutor to help you along. Like Nathan, but even better." 

He frowned. "Why can't I keep doing it with Nathan?" 

She hummed. "Well, he's probably not going to be able to do it until you graduate." She said. "And he's also not trained in tutoring. He's only using his own math knowlege to help you out. But if we get an IEP…" She paused. "If the person we go to writes it down and the government agrees, we can get you a special tutor who can hopefully give you more tools to work with." 

Andrew nodded, though he was confused. He liked Nathan, and he helped him. Why would he want a different tutor? But mom knew best, he supposed. 

She smiled at him softly. "I know you don't want to stand out." She said gently. "I _know,_ honey. But there are some things we just need to do so we can take care of ourselves when we grow up." 

He nodded and slipped off of his chair, taking his book and ices. "I'm going to my room." He said, a bit petulantly. He didn't _want_ special treatment in school. He didn't _want_ Nathan to stop being his tutor. He just wanted math to be easier. 

His mom sighed and nodded, glancing at her watch. "Alright. Bedtime is in twenty minutes." 

"Kay." He said simply, taking a lick of his ice pop as he walked out of the room. 

  
  
  
  
  



	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan spills some mod podge on Andrew, they clean it up. Andrew gets Alecia's dolls for Dani.

One sunday, Andrew stayed late after cub scouts to work on math homework with Nathan. He was sitting at the table as his adult partner cleaned off the table of craft supplies. 

He grumbled. "I need help." He said, looking up at Nathan. 

The adult hummed and turned, knocking over the Mod Podge bottle. The thick liquid poured out onto the table, inching towards Andrew. 

Andrew scrambled up and quickly got off of the bench, but he wasn't quick enough. A large dollop of the sticky glue had landed on his fresh navy shorts. 

"Oh no." Andrew frowned, looking down at himself. 

"Hang on-" Nathan quickly mopped up the mess on the table before it could get to Andrew's papers. "Take them off, we'll wash them in the sink." He said. "Quickly, or it'll set in." He said firmly. 

Andrew stood still for a moment. He didn't want to be in his underwear… 

"Quickly!" Nathan snapped, tossing the paper towels in the trash. 

Andrew swallowed and nodded, undoing his zipper and slipping out of his shorts. 

"Give." Nathan held his hand out for the shorts. 

Andrew flushed a bit and handed them over, shifting a bit uncomfortably as he stood there in his shirt and underwear. 

Nathan quickly went to the sink, folded the shorts so only a part of it would get wet, and held them under running water. 

Andrew stood there, watching him. After about a minute, Nathan stopped his scrubbing. "That's all I could do, Kiddo." He said, turning to smile at Andrew. "No harm, no foul." 

Andrew nodded silently as his adult partner walked over and shook the shorts a bit to straighten them. "I think your mom might want to clean it again when you get home." He murmured, kneeling down in front of Andrew. "Lift your leg." 

Andrew complied, stepping into the shorts, one leg first, then the other. 

Nathan smiled at him and zipped up the front of them, closing the button at the top. His hands lingered there for a moment before he started tucking in Andrew's shirt. "You're a very big boy." He smiled, looking into his eyes. "A very very big boy." He murmured, tucking his shirt in the back. 

There was a moment as Andrew felt Nathan's hand squeeze his backside, and then the moment was past. Almost like it had never happened. 

"Now." Nathan put his hands on his own knees and straightened up. "What was your math question?" 

\--

When Andrew's dad picked him up, he asked Andrew what had happened that he had a white stain and wet spot on his shorts. 

"Nathan spilled some glue on me." He answered simply, climbing into the back of the truck. 

His father sighed and got into the driver's seat. "I guess it's a good thing we bought a spare uniform." He said, starting the engine. "Glue is rather hard to get out of fabric." 

Andrew just nodded, looking out of the window. Nathan had touched him in a place where his underwear covered… but it was _Nathan._ Nathan was good. Nathan was his adult partner, his toutor, and he trusted him. So did his parents. 

He chewed his lower lip as he thought, gazing out the window but not seeing any of the passing scenery. 

\--

When they reached home, his mom had him change into new clothes immediately, and she took the shorts from him. 

Andrew put his math homework into his backpack, and then sat down on his bed with a book. He lost himself in the words until he was called for dinner. 

"I got most of the glue out." His mother supplied as she handed him his plate of pizza to take to the table. "I think you'll be able to wear them again next week, but we'll have to wait until it's dry to be sure." 

Andrew climbed onto his chair. "Okay." He took a bite of his pizza and exhaled sharply as the hot pizza touched his tongue. "Is Nathan coming over in middle of the week for math?" 

His mom nodded. "On tuesday." 

Andrew took a swallow of his drink and didn't say anything else until Alecia joined them at the table. He hadn't yet asked her about the Barbie dolls for Dani. 

\--

The next day in school, Andrew sat in his desk through recess, drawing a house and a family just for fun. 

"Whatchu doing?" 

He looked up to see Dani standing there. 

"Drawing." He said simply, turning the paper to face his friend. 

"Oh, nice." She sat down in Wade's empty seat. He was off playing with some friends. 

Andrew hummed and went back to penciling in details. "Alecia said you can have her barbies." 

"Oooh." Dani grinned. "How many does she have?" 

Andrew shrugged. "Dunno. Maybe six?" 

She smiled widely. "Then I'd have seven." Her eyes were bright. "Thank you." 

Andrew smiled at her and then went back to drawing. "You're welcome." 

\--

Once Alecia found the box of her old dolls, she taped it up for Andrew, and he brought it over to Dani's house to hand over. 

Dani and Andrew walked into her room and she excitedly opened the box. 

She went through the dolls and clothes, exclaiming every so often as she found outfits she liked. 

She finally sat back and looked at Andrew. "Do you wanna play with them?" 

Andrew shrugged. "I don't really like dolls." He said. "But if you want…" 

Dani set out the dolls, dividing them up so they had equal shares of the dolls and the clothes. 

Andrew played along for a while until he groaned. "Nah." He said, setting the doll he was holding down. "I don't really wanna play anymore." 

Dani looked at him and laughed. "Yeah, I was doing most of the playing." 

Andrew smiled at her a bit. "Sorry." 

She shrugged. "It's okay. I just wish I had a girl friend who wanted to play with me." She said wistfully.

Andrew nodded. "Maybe you could make one." 

Dani shook her head. "I dunno. None of the girls in my class really seem to want to be friends with me." 

Andrew frowned. "That's not fair." 

She shrugged and started putting the dolls away in the box. "Yeah." She said quietly. "But I can't _make_ them be my friends." 

Andrew nodded. "Yeah." He knew what that felt like. 

"Whatever." Dani shrugged. "I'm happy with just you." 


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew gets an evaluation, and has another den meeting.

The next morning over breakfast, Andrew's mother told him that she'd made an appointment for that thing she'd talked about. The way he could get a "better" tutor than Nathan. At first he had been averse to the idea, but now… well. He didn't particularly want a new tutor, but he wouldn't be uncomfortable if it wasn't Nathan. 

"If you'd like, you can sleep in." His mother said, grabbing her bag. She often left home well before his bus got there. She needed to get to school before her students. "The appointment is for eleven, so I won't wake you too early." She smiled at him. 

Andrew nodded and took a bite of his eggs. "Okay." He said simply. "Is it like… a doctor? Is there a blood test?" 

His mother laughed. "No, Honey." She shook her head. "The person we're going to is just going to ask you some questions." She paused. "It will be long, though. Probably longer than two hours." 

His eyes widened. "Oh." 

She smiled and stepped over to him to peck a kiss to the top of his head. "Don't worry about it." She murmured, ruffling his hair. "It'll be fine." 

\--

He did indeed sleep in the day of his appointment. His father woke him up around 9 am, and made him pancakes as a treat for the day he had ahead of him. 

Once he was fed and dressed, he and his father got into the truck and started the drive to the appointment. 

Andrew sat patiently as his father signed some papers, and then he was brought into the room. It had nice pictures on the walls, and a small table with chairs that he could sit in without his legs dangling. 

The woman who'd greeted his father smiled at him. "Hi, Andrew." She motioned to the chair. "Are you ready to start? Some of the questions will be easy, and then they're slowly going to get harder. I don't want you to get upset if you cannot answer some, alright? You're not supposed to know all of them." 

Andrew nodded and glanced at his father, who smiled at him reassuringly as he closed the door. 

Now it was just him and the woman, and the long test ahead. 

\--

When the test was over, his father spoke with the woman a bit before they left. They got pizza for lunch, and Andrew told his dad about the questions that were too easy, too hard, or too strange. 

When they got home, his father went straight to the garage to work on his carpentry, and Andrew went into the living room to watch some TV. 

It was even better than a sick day, when he was allowed to stay home and watch TV, because he was feeling fine and could properly enjoy the cartoons. 

After about an hour, he turned off the TV and went to get his drawing supplies. He wanted to draw. That was one thing the test hadn't covered: his drawing. He wished it would have, because he felt like he had done awfully. He had barely been able to answer any of the math questions. He wished he could have shown the woman how good he was at something he liked. 

\--

The next time he saw Nathan was at the den meeting. 

They had finished their last project and were now working on learning a song and skit they would perform for the local nursing home. 

When the other boys had left to go home, Andrew waited by the door patiently. 

"Your father just called." Nathan said, watching him from across the room. It looked like he took out his camera again. "He said he got held up delivering a set of dressers. Something about it not fitting in his truck. So he'll be around in about a half hour." 

Andrew nodded and walked away from the door. "What are you doing with the camera?" 

Nathan smiled. "You're observant." He murmured, taking the cap off of the lense. "I was thinking I could add some pictures to the album of my favorite things." He said. "Do you want to pose for me?" He asked. "As my favorite boy?" 

Andrew's heart thumped at that. He was Nathan's favorite. That was good. 

He nodded, and walked over to the adult. "Where should I stand?" 

Nathan walked him over to the wall where he'd been standing the last time. 

"This time I want you to take your shirt off." He said simply. 

Andrew looked at him silently. 

"Come _on_." Nathan smiled. "Don't tell me you're shy!" He teased. "Not after all the time we spent together." 

Andrew swallowed but did as he was told, undoing his shirt buttons. He set his shirt and neckerchief to the side, and then let Nathan take the pictures, smiling unsurely throughout. 

\--

When his father asked how the den meeting had been, his answer was one-note. 

When his father asked how he'd spent the time waiting for him after the meeting, Andrew just shrugged. "We did things." 

"Things?" His father laughed. "Well, I hope they were fun things." 

\--

Andrew sat at the table, drawing something absentmindedly as he waited for his dad to serve dinner. 

"Oh, is that a camera?" His father asked. "It looks really cool." He smiled, setting down Andrew's plate of chicken. "But we gotta eat now. Go ahead and put that away." 

Andrew nodded and slipped off of his chair, going to put the drawing of the camera in his room along with his other drawings. 

He returned to the table and chatted with his father, slowly getting back to himself. 

Alecia came home after they started eating. She had gone to a friend's house to study for a test, and had eaten there. She sat down at the table, though, complaining to their father about the workload she had. 

Andrew felt better as he ate more, putting the experience with Nathan behind him. 

Nathan liked him. He didn't _mean_ to make him uncomfortable… did he? 


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew gets bullied on the bus.

Andrew sat in his usual seat on the bus, looking out of the window as the rest of the children boarded. Dani hadn't been there in the morning, and she hadn't been in her classroom all day, so Andrew was sure the seat next to him would be empty for the ride home. 

However, there was a thump as someone sat down next to him. 

"Where's your boyfriend?" 

Andrew turned to look at the boy. Of course, it was the boy who usually sat in the seat in front of them. 

"He's not my boyfriend." Andrew responded simply. 

"Come on." The boy rolled his eyes. "Everyone knows the you guys are boyfriends." He scrunched up his face and made kissing noises before grabbing Andrew's bag. 

"Hey!" He tried to grab it back, but lost his balance as the bus started driving. 

The boy held the bag above his head, standing up quickly. "Admit you're a faggot or I'm throwing it out the window, and you'll never see it again." 

Andrew stared at him, his heart hammering in his chest. 

The boy stepped around the seat in front of Andrew and started shoving the bag through the small opening in the window. 

"Wait!" He snapped. "I…" 

"Say it." The boy grinned wickedly. 

"I'm a faggot." Andrew whispered. 

"Louder!" He snapped. "So everyone on the bus can hear. 

"Please…" 

The boy pushed the bag further out. Now more of the bag was outside the moving bus than inside. 

"I'm a faggot!" Andrew said loudly, almost shouting. 

It felt like all conversation on the bus stopped then, and there were scattered snickers and laughs. 

The boy smirked and shoved the bag all the way out of the window. 

\--

Andrew got off of the bus, dragging his feet. He didn't know how to tell his parents what had happened to his backpack. 

It turned out he had more time to think about it, as his father seemed to be off delivering a piece to a customer. He took a glass of water and took the phone off of the hook, dialing Dani's number. 

"Hello?" His mother picked up the phone. 

"Hi, Mrs. Demsky. Is Dani there?" 

There was a pause. "She is, but she's not feeling too well." 

Andrew swallowed. "Oh." He paused. "Can I talk to her anyway?" 

"I can give her the phone, but don't speak too long, alright?" 

Andrew nodded, and then realized she couldn't see him. "Alright. Thank you." 

There was a brief silence, and then Dani picked up. 

"Hi." The voice on the other line sounded thick and properly under the weather. 

Andrew grinned. "Boy, you sound like you're dying." 

There was a laugh, which dissolved into a cough. "Yeah." She groaned. "I have a headache." 

"Uugh." Andrew walked into the living room. "You know the kid on the bus?" 

"Which one?" Asked Dani. 

"The one who sits in front of us. The one who always is... who always makes fun of us?" 

"Oh. Yeah." 

Andrew sat down on the sofa. "He threw my bag out the window." 

"What?" She asked. "What are you gonna do about it?" 

He shrugged. "I dunno. I don't know what to tell my dad." 

There was silence from the other line. "I can tell my parents to tell your parents that he did it." Dani said finally. "This way they don't think you're lying." 

Andrew nodded. "I don't want him to think I tattled, though." 

"Oh." She said quietly. "But they're gonna ask where your backpack is." 

He sighed. "I know." 

Andrew leaned back on the sofa, groaning. "Hey, at least I don't have my homework for tonight." He shrugged. 

She laughed at that. "Oh, my mom wants me to hang up." 

"Feel better, Dani." 

"Thank you." 

\--

Andrew wound up telling his father the truth. He couldn't avoid it. He didn't tell him about the name calling, though. He didn't want to tattle that much. The more he tattled, the more trouble the boy would give him. So he just said the boy had thrown out his bag.

The next day, his father drove him to school with a shopping bag in the place of his backpack. They'd buy a new back over the weekend. 

His father walked into the building with him, and they went to the principal's office. 

He sat quietly as his father and the principal spoke about the boy. 

After a short while, they sent him to his class so he wouldn't miss too much of the lesson. 

After school was over, he got onto the bus. He hoped the boy wouldn't be on the bus, that he would be punished with detention… but there he was, grinning at Andrew as he walked down the aisle. 

"Well look who it is." His voice was cold. "The tattle-tale baby." 

Andrew flushed and sat down in his seat wordlessly. 

"You know you got me into trouble." The boy growled as he turned to look at Andrew. "I have to do extra homework because of you." 

"Because of what you did." Andrew snapped back, before he could stop himself. 

"Oh?" The boy narrowed his eyes as he got out of his seat to step around to get closer to Andrew. "What did I do?" 

Andrew swallowed, looking up at him. "I… you threw my bag out of the window. And you called me a faggot." 

"Well, you deserved it, because you _are_ a faggot. Who knows what kind of gay shit you have in your bag?" 

"I'm not gay!" Andrew snapped. 

The boy just made kiissy noises at him and then grabbed the shopping bag from his hand. 

Andrew stayed where he was as the boy looked through it. After a few moments, the boy just tossed it back down on the seat. Without warning, he leaned over and grabbed Andrew's upper arm, squeezing it tightly. 

"Ouch!" Andrew exclaimed. "Let me go!"

"Not until you say you're not gonna tattle again." The boy snarled. 

"I won't!" He pleaded. The older boy's grip was tight and very painful. 

"Promise!" 

"I promise I won't tattle, now let me go!" 

The boy shoved Andrew back. "If you tattle on me again, you'll have _at least_ a black eye to bring home." 

  
  
  
  



	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get another peek into someone's point of view.

He stood in his usual spot near the door, watching the proceedings in the courtroom. 

This case wasn't one he was interested in. Someone had attacked another person in a coffee shop. 

At this point, he was going to go off of the data he'd collected in the last couple of years. Previous cases that had been dismissed or settled on the side of the abuser. 

The further out the cases were, the less likely it was that they would get traced back to him. 

He smiled curtly at the plaintiff, who wished him a good day as he left, and waited for the next case to start as he mused. 

\--

He walked into his apartment and pulled off his coat, going to sit down in his armchair before the TV. 

There was a snippet on the news about a missing doctor, who happened to be dissolving in his barrel as they spoke. 

He hummed and flicked the channel to something more entertaining and less paranoia inducing, and phased out for a bit, thinking about the second binder he had in the shack. In it, he kept a list of potential targets. He'd accumulated the data in it for years, before he'd even been struck by the idea to do something about it. 

After a short while, he stood up, pulled on his jacket, and left to go to the shack to pick out his next target. 

\--

He rifled through the second binder, going through the multiple pages of possible targets. 

He remembered all of them. All of their names, all of their faces… all of their victims, crying on the stands. 

He remembered every smirk on their faces as they were released. Every look they gave the children as they were bundled away by their parents. 

He knew that it was only a matter of time before he was caught. Soon enough they would connect the dots on all of the missing people. All of them had been pre-tried with him as security. 

It would be a while before they would find him, but they would. He just wanted to make as big a dent in the population of abusers in the world as he could. 

\--

He settled on a doctor. A pediatrician, who had been brought to court for fondling a child when the parents had left the room briefly. 

The child had told her parents right away, and while they did all they could, he was still released with no penalty. The child had frozen up on the stand, and refused to testify. As there were no other witnesses, the doctor had been free to go. 

He hated the fact that he knew there were even more abusers than he knew of, and he had at least eight targets that had come into his courtroom in the last year. Even more than that if those he'd noticed before he had planned this spree were taken into account. 

He wanted to know about all of them. All of the people who preyed on innocent children in the most carnal way. He wanted to have all of them in his binder. Not the second one. The first one, where he compiled the information after they were dead. There were three in there so far, and he now had his eye on a fourth. 


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan oversteps a very big boundary.

Andrew and the other boys in the den were riding in the back of the cub scouts van as Nathan drove them to the nursing home for their performance. 

Andrew was chatting with the other boys happily, and met Nathan's eyes in the rearview mirror. The adult smiled at him reassuringly, and Andrew smiled back. 

Overall, he liked Nathan. He was his adult partner, his tutor, and his _friend._ A friend who sometimes acted a bit weird. But didn't everybody? People had bad days. 

They pulled up in front of the nursing home, and the boys bundled out, waiting for Nathan to lead the way inside. 

They went straight to the social room, where there were a bunch of chairs set up, and got into their costumes as the residents of the home trickled in, filling up the seats. 

Andrew had the main part of one of the skits, and had practiced his lines over and over so as not to make a mistake. 

Once the seats were mostly full, Nathan sat cross legged in front of the chairs and motioned for them to start. 

The boys started with a song, Nathan motioning to keep them all at the same speed. When they did the skits, he mouthed along with them so none of them would forget their lines. 

When the performance was over, the boys linked hands and the five of them gave a bow as the room clapped for them politely. 

One at a time, they thanked the nursing home director for letting them come and perform, and then they got back into the van. Since Nathan had the van that day, he dropped each boy off at his house. 

"Hey, Andrew." Nathan turned in his seat to look at him. "Since you're the last in the van, why don't you come up and ride shotgun until we reach your house." 

Andrew grinned. "Really?" 

Nathan laughed at that. "Yeah, really. Get up here." 

When they reached his house, Nathan ruffled his hair. "I'll see you next week." 

Andrew looked at him curiously. "No math?" He asked. 

Nathan shook his head. "Not this week. I'm traveling out to spend the week with my mom. She's not feeling too well, and I need to help her around the house." 

"Oh." Andrew said. "Alright. I'll see you next week." He took his bag and got out of the van. When he reached the door, he turned to wave goodbye to Nathan as the adult pulled away. 

\--

Andrew got onto the bus that Friday afternoon and ducked his head as he passed the seat that the bully sat in. He sat down next to Dani, who was already sitting and reading a book. 

Andrew looked at her. "Can I come over after cub scouts on sunday to watch Spider-Man?" He asked. They had watched almost to the end of the tapes, and Andrew wanted to see the rest. 

Dani looked up from her book and nodded. "I'll ask my parents." She said, smiling. "Wanna stay for supper, too?" 

Andrew nodded. He enjoyed Mrs. Demsky's cooking. It was almost as good as his dad's. 

\--

On Sunday, Andrew changed into his uniform and climbed into the van, excited to go to the den meeting mostly because he was excited for it to be over. He wanted to finish Spider-Man. 

Nathan greeted him with a smile as he walked in, and told him he'd missed him that week. He said he'd thought of him every day. 

Andrew didn't know how to respond to that, so he just smiled at his adult partner and went to draw on the whiteboard, which they were allowed to do before all of the boys had arrived. 

"That's cool." Nathan smiled, watching him draw a dog. "Where did you learn how to do that?" 

Andrew shrugged. "My head." He murmured, continuing to draw. 

"I enjoy drawing too." Nathan smiled, turning to greet one of the other boys who had just arrived. "I don't think I drew as well as you at your age, though." 

Andrew smiled at the compliment and continued drawing until all of the boys had arrived. 

\-- 

They had played a few games of hide and seek through the church for most of the meeting. Nathan took part in the hiding. 

One time, as they were hiding, he found Andrew and hid alongside him in a small closet. "Shh." He said. "Don't make a sound." He said, snaking his arm around the boy. His hand stopped by Andrews crotch, just over his zipper. He pulled him close, his hand uncomfortably snug against Andrew's body. 

Andrew swallowed. He couldn't make a sound, or the seeker would find them. 

Nathan moved his hand a bit, rolling it over his crotch. "Shh." He exhaled. "Or Keith will find us." 

There was something poking into Andrew's back, but he couldn't turn to see what it was. The space was too small. Nathan must have been holding something against him. 

He stood there silently as Nathan's hand kept moving slightly, his lips pressed together. 

Finally, when the door to the room they were hiding in opened, Nathan moved his hand. 

When Keith opened the door and exclaimed that they were the last two he found, he stepped out of the closet quickly, looking up at Nathan. 

The adult didn't meet his eyes, though. He just smiled at Keith and walked out of the room, leaving Andrew behind to think about what had just happened. 

\--

Andrew was silent through most of his time at Dani's, losing himself in the video they were watching. 

When Dani's mom popped her head into the room to tell them dinner was almost ready, he jumped a bit. He smiled at her and nodded when she asked if he was okay. He laughed it off, telling her he had been distracted by the show they were watching, and she seemed to accept that, leaving the room. 

Andrew played with the fabric on the edge of the arm of the sofa as he watched the TV, thinking about what had happened earlier that day rather than watching what was happening on screen. 

Nathan was strange. Sometimes he was the kindest person he'd ever met. And sometimes… sometimes he touched him wrong. Sometimes he asked for pictures that made him uncomfortable. But overall Andrew liked him. At least he thought he did. His parents definitely liked him. Which was confusing to him as well. His parents trusted him with Nathan, which he guessed should reassure him that he was safe. 


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew has a nightmare, the bus bully is (hopefully) dealt with.

Andrew woke up in a cold sweat. He didn't remember what he'd been dreaming about, but it had been bad enough to wake him up. Shivering, he slipped out of bed to go into the kitchen to get himself a glass of water. 

He looked at the clock on the wall. It was three in the morning. Well before he would need to wake up for school, and he didn't feel like he could fall back asleep. 

Shivering, even though it wasn't cold in the kitchen, he climbed onto the step-stool to reach the sink, and filled up his cup. 

The night before, Nathan had come to work on math with him. They'd worked as they usually did, and Nathan was as kind as he had always been, but there was now something wedged between them. Andrew didn't know what it was or how to verbalize it. 

The memory of what had happened that Sunday assaulted him then, and he squeezed his eyes shut. 

Why had Nathan touched him like that? He felt an intense shame, feeling just _wrong_. His hands were shaking as he took a drink of his water. 

He thought back to the time before he'd started in cub scouts, a few months ago now. His father had sat him down and said he should tell them if someone touched him wrong… but he'd said he should tell Nathan. 

What if his parents told Nathan he had tattled? What if they were angry at him for not trusting their choice of adult partner? What if they didn't believe him? 

He went to pour out the remaining water in his cup, and returned to bed, staying awake for a good while before drifting off into an uneasy sleep. 

\--

A few days later, Andrew was given the news that he'd been approved for special services in school and special tutoring. 

When his father told him Nathan wouldn't be tutoring him any longer, he felt a deep sense of relief. At the same time, however, he felt anxious. He didn't know who would be taking over, nor how they would approach the math and his difficulties. 

He helped his father set the table for dinner, and then went to his room to play with his action figures. 

After a short while, his father poked his head into the room. 

"Dani is on the phone for you." He smiled, holding the phone out to him. 

Andrew grinned and took the phone from him, putting it up to his ear as he flopped down on his bed.

"What's up?" He asked. 

"My mom asked about the bruise." Dani said simply. 

The bully from the bus and a few of his friends had found them in the school gym during recess time, and had shoved them both around. Dani had gotten the brunt of it, and a punch to the face had earned her a bruise on the chin. 

"Oh." Andrew swallowed. "What did you tell her?" 

There was silence for a bit. "He said if we snitch he's gonna be even worse…" 

Andrew nodded. "Yeah." 

"I told her I fell." 

Andrew fiddled with his batman action figure. "Did she believe you?" 

"I think so." 

Andrew sighed. "I hate him." 

"Yeah." Dani said. "He's a dick." 

Andrew snorted. He'd never heard Dani speak like that. 

"What? It's true." Dani insisted. "He's a big, fat, horrible dick." 

Andrew laughed. "Yeah, he is." 

There was silence between them for almost a full half a minute. 

"I should go." Dani said finally. "I'll see you tomorrow." 

Andrew nodded. "Yeah. G'night." 

\--

Andrew's mom picked him up from the den meeting that Sunday. She waited until he got into the back to speak up. "What do you say to some ice cream, bud?" She asked. 

Andrew grinned. "I say _yes please_!" He exclaimed. 

She chuckled and started the truck, pulling out of the parking lot. 

After a short while of driving, she glanced at him in the rearview mirror. "Honey, I need to ask you something." 

He looked up, meeting her eyes with curiosity. 

"What's going on?" She asked, her voice gentle. "Something is making you upset. I know my big boy, and you're a lot quieter than you have been for a while." 

Andrew's stomach lurched. What was wrong? So much. But his mom and dad… 

"Nothin'." He said quietly. 

She sighed. "Honey…" 

"Nothing's wrong." He insisted. 

"Andrew, you know that I don't like when you lie to me." 

"Nothing's wrong!" He snapped. 

They reached a red light, and she turned to look at him. "Is it that boy on the schoolbus?" She asked. "Your father told me about your backpack." 

Andrew looked at her. "I… yes." He said finally. "He beat up me and Dani last week." 

She sighed and turned back to watch for the light to change. "I'll speak with Principal Morris." She said. "I know dad spoke to him already, but perhaps if I have a word with him…" 

Andrew looked out of the window. He knew that nothing would happen. Well, something would happen. The bullying would get worse. 

\--

The next day, the bully and his friends weren't on the bus. Andrew and Dani chatted easily about their day in school, a weight off their shoulders, if only for that day. 

When Andrew reached home, he found his dad speaking with someone in the kitchen. A big man, a person who made Andrew think of a pirate for some reason. A big, burley pirate. 

Andrew smiled unsurely, and went to his bedroom. 

Over dinner, his mother and father talked a bit about the man, and Andrew figured out that his father was interviewing people to help with the carpentry. Apparently, his father had a lot more orders than he himself could fill. Which was good, but also meant that time was tight for him. Which in turn meant there was more pizza for dinner (as they had that night), and he tended to be late to pick Andrew up from cub scouts. 

Andrew's mother leaned over and wiped the pizza sauce off of his face. "I spoke to Principal Morris." She said, changing the topic. "The boy on the bus has been suspended." She explained. "He shouldn't be on the bus for a week." 

Andrew swallowed the food in his mouth. "He said if we tattle he'll get meaner." 

She huffed. "If he does, there's another two suspensions before he is expelled." She said firmly. "I spoke with your principal, and he agreed with me. There is no excuse for beating up another boy." 

Andrew nodded and went back to eating his pizza. So the bully problem was taken care of. Hopefully. But what about Nathan? How could he take care of that? 


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan takes some more pictures, and Andrew gets more reserved.

Andrew was sitting on a bench in the meeting room, drawing a few figures. He was drawing a family, and all of the members were frowning, almost angry. He didn't know why, he just knew it felt right to draw them that way. 

Nathan stepped behind him, putting his hands on his shoulders. "What'chu drawing there, bud?" 

Andrew swallowed. "My family, I guess." He murmured. 

"Which one are you?" Nathan asked. 

Andrew pointed at the smallest figure on the paper. 

"That's cool." Nathan smiled. "Your dad said he'll be here in a half hour or so." 

Andrew nodded silently. 

"I was thinking we could take some more pictures." Nathan said softly, massaging Andrew's shoulders. "You'd like that, wouldn't you? For my album." 

Andrew swallowed and didn't answer. 

"Come on, Kiddo." Nathan stepped back, tugging Andrew. 

Andrew got off of the bench slowly and turned to look at his adult partner. 

"Here." Nathan kneeled down. "I want to show off how your muscles, hm?" He started undoing Andrew's buttons on his shirt. "All of them." 

Andrew shifted but didn't resist. 

Nathan smiled at him reassuringly. "Come on, Andrew… it's fine. We've done this before." 

Andrew nodded, unsure. 

Nathan pushed Andrew's shirt over his shoulders, pulling it off all of the way. Then he started on his shorts, undoing his zipper. 

After a little while, Andrew stood there in just his shoes and underpants, shivering a tiny bit. 

Nathan took his hand and led him to the back of the room, where he usually took the pictures. 

They took pictures for the next ten minutes, Nathan directing him. Andrew barely moved with his instructions, though, and Nathan had to come and move him, though he didn't seem to mind. 

After a while, Nathan brought his clothes over and redressed him. "There we go." He smiled. "How is your new tutor?" He asked, as though nothing had just happened. 

Andrew was silent for a few moments. "Fine." He answered, not going into detail. 

"Do you miss me?" Nathan asked softly. 

Andrew knew what Nathan wanted to hear. He didn't miss him, but… he didn't know how Nathan would react if he said the truth. "Yes." He said finally. 

"I miss you too, Bud." He smiled down at him. "Why don't you finish your drawing, hm?" 

\--

Andrew's father came to pick him up a short while later. He brought him home, and Andrew went straight to his bedroom, closing and locking the door. 

He walked over to the full-length mirror on his wall, looking at himself. 

What did he do to make Nathan act like this? Why was he normal one some days and so… strange on others? What did he do today to prompt the pictures? He must have done something. 

He shivered and undressed, looking at himself in the mirror as he dropped his clothes to the floor. He stood in front of the mirror for a short while, staring at himself. He frowned deeply and grabbed his shirt from the floor, throwing it at the mirror with a growl. 

\--

He was practically mute over dinner that night, picking at his food. 

His mother tried to engage him in conversation, but he gave monosyllabic answers. He didn't want to talk. 

He noticed his parents give each other a look at some point. He knew they knew _something_. Clearly they did. But he couldn't tell them what. He felt too guilty. He did this. He made Nathan act the way he did. 

\--

Andrew sat alongside Dani on the sofa in his living room. They were taking turns reading from a short book, playing a game that played on the words written. Each time there was a word that started with the letter S, they would say "spaghetti" instead of the word written. If it had an M, it would become "meatballs". Each time they slipped up and read the correct word, the book got passed to the other child. 

After a while of playing, they switched over to playing with his action figures. 

"I'm going back to visit New York." Dani said finally. 

Andrew looked up at her. "What?" 

Dani nodded. "There's a holiday coming up and Mom and Dad want to go to my grandparents."

"Oh." He said quietly. 

"I'll call you and tell you about the tips I take with my family?" Dani suggested. 

Andrew nodded. "Yeah." 

She furrowed her brow and nudged at him. "You're different." 

Andrew looked at her. "What?" 

"You're different." She repeated simply. "Are you sick?" 

He shook his head. "Thinking about something." 

"About what?" She asked. 

"Nothin'." 

She frowned but seemed to accept that, going back to building a tower for her supervillain.

\--

After Dani left for the night, Andrew went to the garage door to watch his dad work. 

After a while, his father noticed him. He dipped his brush in the bowl of wood stain. "What's up, bud?" 

Andrew chewed his lip and walked into the garage. "When are you gonna find someone to work on the wood with you?" He asked. 

"I dunno." His father responded. "So far I haven't found anyone who I trust and shows the right level of skill." 

Andrew climbed onto a stool to watch his father stain the bookshelf he was working on. 

"Why?" His father asked. "Do you want to work for me?" He teased. 

Andrew sat there for a moment. "I dunno." He said finally. "I… I don't like staying in cub scouts late anymore." That was safe, right? 

His father hummed. "Why? Is it boring?" 

Andrew was just silent at that. 

"Well, hopefully I'll find someone soon. Your mom picks you up when she can, and I do it as soon as I'm able." He hummed. "I just need to find a guy with a van, who has the right skill level and who I could trust." 

Andrew nodded and twisted on the stool, which had a moving seat. 

"Hopefully I'll find someone soon." His father set his paintbrush down in the bowl and went to go wash his hands. "Come on and help me set the table, yeah?" 

Andrew nodded and slipped off of the stool, following his dad into the kitchen. 

He didn't want to stay late with Nathan anymore. He didn't know how to tell him to stop. He didn't know how to say anything anymore. 

  
  



	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew visits the school psychologist, and Nathan gives him a few VHS tapes.

"Why don't you draw something for me?" The school psychologist asked, sitting down next to Andrew. "Your mom told me you like to draw." 

Andrew eyed her suspiciously but then nodded, reaching for the pencils she had set out for him. 

"Do you know what you want to draw?" She asked. 

Andrew thought for a moment. "A helicopter." He said finally. 

She smiled at him gently and nodded. "Alright, let me see what you can do." 

Andrew then focused on the pencil and paper, drawing a few rudimentary shapes, slowly making it look a bit more like a flying helicopter. 

He drew a few small figures near the bottom of the paper. 

"Who are those people?" The psychologist asked. 

Andrew hummed as he added a few more figures. "They're his friends." He said. 

She nodded, leaning over to see the picture better. "Does he see them down on the ground?" 

Andrew nodded. 

"How does he feel, seeing them down there?" 

Andrew hummed. "He waves down at them." 

She nodded. "But how does he _feel?_ " She pressed. 

Andrew thought for a few moments. "I dunno." He said. "Proud?" 

"Okay." She said, encouragingly. "Why does he feel proud?" 

"Because he's higher up than them." He explained. "They can't fly like him." 

She let him finish the drawing, and then handed him a fresh paper. "Why don't you draw your family for me?" 

\--

On the bus home, the bully fixed him with a stare but didn't say anything. 

Andrew sat down, setting his backpack down in the empty seat. Dani had gone back to New York, and now he was riding the bus alone. 

He gazed out the window as the bus drove, watching the passing houses and trees. 

He was tired. Not only had he had the session with the school psychologist, he had also had a tutoring session in middle of the day. He leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes, dozing off a bit until the bus stopped in front of his house. 

He grabbed his bag and hopped off the bus, going into his house. 

He went into the kitchen and took a cookie out of the cookie jar before going to his room. 

He climbed onto his bed and picked up the Highlights magazine he had there, working through a couple of his favorite puzzles until he was called for dinner. 

\--

Andrew walked into the den meeting a bit late, and Nathan motioned for him to join the other boys in the circle on the floor. They were learning knots, with each boy holding a small length of rope and twisting it according to Nathan's instructions. 

Andrew sat down, cross legged, on the floor, and took the spare rope from Nathan. 

The adult partner quickly caught him up as the other boys continued working on their knots. 

When the meeting was over, Andrew was glad to see that his father was waiting outside. Nathan hadn't been weird this time, but he didn't want to give him a chance to sneak some weirdness in. 

Andrew started to the door, when Nathan stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. "Why are you running off so quickly?" The adult asked. 

Andrew looked up at him. "I… My dad is waiting." He explained. 

"Yeah, he can wait, though." 

Andrew swallowed, looking at the door. 

"It'll just be a minute. I wanted to give you something." He paused. "I wanted to show you that you're still my favorite." 

Andrew didn't answer him, but Nathan went to his bag and pulled something out. He smiled and walked back to Andrew, holding out two VHS tapes. "Check it out." He grinned, handing them over to Andrew. 

Andrew took the tapes from him curiously. He looked at the labels on them, and his eyes widened. "Oh, cool!" He exclaimed. "X-Men!" 

Nathan chuckled. "I thought you'd like it, since you're into Spider-Man." 

Andrew looked up at him. "Thank you." He smiled, relaxing a bit. 

There was a brief silence from Nathan. "Those are my doubles." He said then. "I have the whole bunch at home." He grinned, putting his hand on Andrew's shoulder. "But I'm very protective of them. If your parents let, why don't you come over after you've finished those two? We can make a super-hero night." 

All thoughts of what Nathan had done earlier had fled Andrew's mind. Someone who was so nice and so cool… he must have been overthinking things. 

He nodded, and looked down at the tapes. "I'll ask them." He said, and smiled up at Nathan. "Thank you." 

"Of course, Bud." The adult grinned. "Now go get to your father." He pushed him towards the door gently. 

\--

Andrew watched an episode of X-Men after dinner, and told his parents about Nathan's collection at home. 

He had asked - well, pleaded - for permission to go over and watch some of his tapes. 

He was a little bit unsure, deep down, but the childish hope of having an enjoyable time with someone he honestly liked despite the discomfort was pushing him. He wanted to have a good time with someone who seemed to care about him. 

When his mom came to tell him to get ready for bed, she gave him the permission to go to Nathan after the den meeting the next week. 

That night, Andrew slept well for the first time in weeks. 

\--

The next day, as soon as he got home from school, he called the number Dani had given him to reach her in New York. 

Some older woman picked up, and when he asked to speak to Dani, the phone was handed over. 

"Hey, guess what?" Andrew asked, not even bothering with responding to Dani's "Hello."

There was a pause from the other line. "Gimme a hint?" She asked. 

He grinned. "It's like the Spider-Man videos." He said. 

"Ummm…" Dani hummed. "Did you get your own tapes?"

"No, even better."

"Better?" 

Andrew nodded. "Yeah, cuz you already have the tapes, so I don't need them." 

"Oh." She paused. "Is it a different video?" She asked finally. 

Andrew smiled widely. "I got two tapes of X-Men, and Nathan has more that he's gonna show me!" 

"What?" Dani asked. "I'm so jealous!" She exclaimed. "Can I come along?" 

Andrew hummed. "I have to ask him." He said. "I dunno, because it's in his house." 

"Oh." She was silent for a moment. "Well, ask him. I wanna see them too." There was noise from the other end. "Oh, my aunt is calling me… we're going to the zoo." 

"Enjoy!" Andrew said quickly, before Dani hung up. 

  
  



	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mysterious person working behind the scenes finds some interesting evidence.

His latest target lived alone, which worked well for him. One week, when the man was off visiting family out of state, he let himself into the small, dingy apartment after minimal jiggling with a lockpick. He closed the door after himself and locked the door, so suspicion wouldn't be raised. 

This particular target had been brought forward for possession of child pornography, and had been let go due to mishandled evidence. 

There had been a debate in the courtroom at the time, two and a half years back, whether the evidence had been planted. 

The defendant insisted it was, and when the proof of mishandled evidence was found… well, it got tossed out quicker than you could blink. 

It was the first case that he'd started paying proper attention to. The first case he brought home and documented. 

But even so, he needed to be sure. He knew deep down in his gut that the man was guilty, that he deserved what he was going to get in the tiny shack… but he also needed to be certain he wasn't about to kill an innocent man. That was the reasoning that had brought him into the small, smelly apartment. 

He looked around the place, thinking of all of the locations he'd heard of people hiding private material. 

After about forty-five minutes of combing the place over, he found a hollow floorboard in the bedroom. He got down on his hands and knees and pried a board up, finding a small safe hidden in the opening. 

He carefully pulled the safe out, and frowned as he looked it over. This would be difficult. He'd researched different safes and different ways to open them in the time building up to this, but he was no expert. 

He carefully examined the buttons, looking for wear and tear. After a fair amount of time just sitting there in silence, he keyed in a code. 

An angry buzz told him that he'd gotten it wrong. He swore under his breath and tried his second choice. 

A click and beep told him he'd gotten it correct. 

He turned the knob and pulled the door open. 

\--

Inside the safe, there had been a small videotape, small enough to fit in a camera. There were also five envelopes with pictures in them. 

Two of the five envelopes contained pictures of the same child, and they were also the only two that had a distinguishing feature to them. 

Behind the child, who was standing there near naked and looking so scared, was a sign with the cub scouts logo. 


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew goes over to Nathan's apartment to watch some tapes.

When Andrew finished the tapes Nathan had given him, he asked his parents for permission to go to Nathan's place to see the rest. 

His parents deliberated overnight, and then gave him permission for the following Sunday. 

On the bus to school, he told Dani, who had just come back from her trip. 

"Will you ask him if I can come?" She asked.

Andrew nodded. "I'm gonna call him after school to tell him. I'll ask him, and then I'll call you." 

She smiled. "Thank you." 

\--

As soon as he reached home, he took the phone to his room and dialed the number Nathan had given him. He waited for him to pick up, but got the answering machine. 

"Hi. It's Andrew… I have a friend named Dani, and she… he wants to know if he can come to watch X-Men too." He paused, thinking of what else to say. "Kay. Thank you. Bye." He hung up the phone, and went to return it to the cradle. 

About a half hour later, the phone rang. He rushed out of his room to pick it up before it went to the answering machine, and got it just in time. 

"Hello?" 

"Hiya, Andrew." Nathan said on the other line. "You left me a message?" 

"Yeah." Andrew responded. "Can Dani come?" 

Nathan hummed. "No… I don't know him, and I only really want to give this treat to you, as my favorite cub scout." 

Andrew frowned. 

"I don't like people in my apartment." Nathan explained. "But I'm making an exception for you, since I like you." 

Andrew sighed. "Alright." 

There was a pause from the other line. "Well, did your parents say you can come?" He asked. 

Andrew smiled. "Yeah, they said after the den meeting this week, I can go to you 'till dinner time." 

"Perfect." The smile was obvious in his voice. "I'll see you on Sunday, then. I'll buy some special snacks." He paused. "Maybe even ice cream." 

Andrew grinned. "Vanilla?" 

Nathan chuckled. "Sure, I can get vanilla." 

\--

Andrew was nearly jumping out of his skin with excitement when Sunday rolled around. He changed into his cub scouts uniform, and packed his clothes in a bag so he could change before going to Nathan's place. 

A little niggling feeling told him not to bring the change of clothes, to simply stay in his uniform while he was in Nathan's place, but he ignored it. 

He pulled on his coat and boots, and then climbed into the back of his dad's truck. 

The den meeting passed quickly, and then finally it was just him and Nathan. 

The adult smiled at him. 

"Ready to go?" 

Andrew looked at the bag he'd left in the corner of the room. "I need to change first." 

Nathan hummed. "Alright, get changed." 

Andrew picked up the bag and started heading to the bathroom. 

"Come on, Kiddo." Nathan's voice was honeyed. "I've seen you without clothes before. No need to be shy now." 

Andrew swallowed. Was Nathan going to be weird? 

"Just get changed quickly so we could go." 

Andrew nodded, and stripped down, changing into his outside clothes as quick as he could. 

\--

Nathan led him into the bright apartment. There were lots of windows, and it had good lighting. 

Andrew saw the giant tv screen and his eyes widened. It was almost double the size of the screen they had at home. And it was flatscreen. 

Nathan chuckled at the look on Andrew's face. "Cool, no?" 

Andrew nodded, silent in awe. 

"Imagine how cool the tape will look on this screen." The adult said. "Go ahead and sit down, I'll make you a bowl of ice cream." 

Andrew grinned and climbed onto the sofa, waiting for Nathan to join him. 

Soon enough, the adult returned, handing Andrew a bowl full of vanilla ice cream, topped with colorful sprinkles. 

Andrew hummed in appreciation and grabbed the spoon, taking a taste. 

Nathan chuckled and went to turn on the TV. He set it all up, and then joined Andrew on the sofa as the intro music started up. 

\--

When his mother showed up in the truck, Andrew begrudgingly took his bag holding his uniform and left Nathan's apartment. 

He rambled about the time he'd had the entire way home, and throughout dinner, talking about the show and the snacks he'd had. He left out the part where Nathan had taken him onto his lap briefly, but that was the closest he'd been to being weird. Maybe that was all over with. 

\--

Andrew told Dani all about the time he'd had in Nathan's place, actually not skipping over the bit with being pulled onto his lap when he gave her the story. 

She listened to everything, smiling. "God, I'm so jealous." She said, when he was finished. "I wish I had the X-Men tapes." 

"Oh, it's even better!" Andrew exclaimed. "Next week he's gonna show me _Star Wars_." 

Dani's eyes widened. Only the older kids in school had seen Star Wars. 

"Yeah." He grinned. "I need to ask my mom and dad though. But I'm gonna beg. They'll _have_ to say yes." 

\--

Sure enough, with very little begging required, his parents gave him permission to go over to Nathan again. 

He waited patiently all week, but when it came to Saturday night, he could barely sleep. 

_Star Wars_. 

\--

Sunday morning, Andrew woke up bright and early and walked into the kitchen just as his mom was setting up the coffee pot. 

"Morning, Andrew." She greeted him. 

"Morning." He mumbled, stretching. He walked over to the fridge and pulled out the milk. 

"Excited about later today?" 

Andrew nodded. "Oh yeah." He said. "Very." 

She smiled and leaned back against the counter, watching him. "You're happier than I've seen you in a while."

Andrew shrugged and poured some cereal into a bowl. 

She smiled at him, sighing a bit before turning and filling her mug up with the fresh coffee. 

  
  



	25. Chapter Twenty-Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mysterious figure tracks down the photographer.

He knew the 40 year old man currently decomposing in the vat hadn't taken the pictures himself. He knew he'd purchased them from someone. He didn't have any leads on three of the four children in the pictures, but the fourth… well, he knew that the abuser had access to the child through the cub scouts. 

So, under the guise of looking for a den for his nonexistent son, he took the time to visit a cub scout den meeting. 

He didn't see the child in the first first den, so the following week he went on to the second of three dens in the area. 

He walked into the church and found the room where the meeting was being held. 

Sure enough, there was the logo on the wall with a few recognizable shelves nearby. 

And then he noticed the boy, smiling and playing with another child. 

He looked so happy, so different than the picture he'd found in the apartment. 

"Can I help you?" The adult in the room walked over. 

"Yeah." He smiled, holding out his hand. "Kelsey Samuels." He introduced himself with a fake name. "I'm just checking this all out for my boy." He said. 

The younger man, he must have been in his mid twenties, took his hand and gave a firm shake. "Nathan Kearney." 

He smiled at Nathan and nodded. "What sort of things do you guys do in the meetings?" He asked. "I don't have any experience with the boy scouts, but I think my son would really enjoy being part of something bigger than himself." 

Nathan nodded and started explaining the basics of scouting to him. 

He was barely listening, looking at the young boy every so often. He looked so… normal. So happy. He'd only ever seen the abused children in the courtroom, when they were broken and worn thin by the process… but this boy seemed so alive. 

After Nathan had given him the explanation and the rundown of how to apply to the scouts, he shook his hand again and left. 

\--

When he returned home, he checked Nathan up in the phone book. It didn't take too long to find his address, along with his apartment number. 

He had to make sure that this was the man who had taken the pictures. It wasn't guaranteed that it had been him, though the chance was high. He wasn't going to kidnap and murder someone off of a maybe, though. 

So he started following him as he had the previous targets, mapping out their days and weeks, making notes on their schedules. 

He needed to find a large window of time where he could break in and search the apartment for evidence of his misdeeds.

\--

Luckily, it seemed that Nathan was in Montana tech most of the day, and so he had a good few hours opening to break in. However, it was hard to find time, since he was working. 

One day, he managed to get an extended break in middle of the day, giving the excuse of a doctor's appointment. 

And so, in the middle of the day on a Tuesday two weeks after he'd first met the den leader, he carefully broke into the apartment and did a thorough search. 

It took him a fair amount of time, but he discovered a false bottom to a drawer in a desk. Inside were a few rolls of film, and a fair few developed shots. Multiple copies of them, too, clearly ready to be sold to other customers interested in vulnerable little boys. 

He carefully replaced the false bottom and left the apartment, starting to devise a plan to get Nathan to his shack. 

He wanted something particularly special for this one. This one was crafty. He hadn't been caught to be brought before court… and there was the boy, who looked so innocent and happy despite what he was going through. 

He needed to think of something quickly, though, before the child could come to any more harm. 


	26. Chapter Twenty-Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> INTENSE TRIGGER WARNING FOR GRAPHIC CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE. 
> 
> Andrew goes to Nathan's apartment to watch Star Wars and gets more than he bargained for

When cub scouts was completed and the other boys had all left, Andrew changed out of his uniform as he had the week before. He felt Nathan's eyes on him as he did, and he stared at the wall instead of meeting the adult's gaze. 

When he was dressed, he and Nathan climbed into the car, and they were off to Nathan's place. 

Nathan unlocked the door, and Andrew went straight to the sofa. 

Nathan hummed and locked the door behind him, securing the deadbolt. 

Andrew was sitting on the sofa patiently when Nathan came into the room holding a tape. 

"Star Wars!" Andrew exclaimed. 

"Not just yet." Nathan murmured. "I have a different video I want to see first, alright?" He pushed the tape into the player before Andrew could answer. 

The screen was black, and then the screen shuddered a bit, making way for the view of a bedroom. 

What was going on? 

Nathan sat down next to him and put his hand on Andrew's knee. "Remember. You're my special favorite." He said softly. "I'm showing you my super secret video. You can keep a secret, right, Andrew?" 

Andrew nodded, his eyes glued to the screen. He watched as a young boy, one who couldn't have been much older than him, walked into view. He was wearing a school uniform. 

"Undress." A deep voice came from somewhere offscreen. 

Andrew shifted and looked up at Nathan, who still had his hand on his knee. 

Nathan's eyes were glued to the screen, and he seemed to be in a trance. 

Andrew swallowed and looked back to the screen. The boy was naked now, completely undressed of all of his clothes, including underwear. 

Andrew swallowed. This was weird. This was very, very weird. He started shifting away, and Nathan dug his fingers into his knee. "Don't." He said firmly. "Don't move." 

Andrew stopped still at that. Nathan's voice was different. It was deeper, more gravelly. 

The boy on screen was now laying on his back, his side visible to the camera. His head was turned so he was looking directly at the viewer. 

There was the sound of something unzipping to his right, and Andrew was too frightened to look. He kept his eyes glued to the screen as a large man with a mask obscuring his face stepped into view. 

Nathan's grip on his knee tightened, and there was the sound of moving fabric. Then the sound of skin-on-skin. 

Andrew was too frightened to blink. His eyes were burning as he stared at the screen. The man had climbed over the boy, and was spreading his legs. 

Nathan lifted his hand from Andrew's knee, taking Andrew's hand and leading it to his crotch. Andrew shuddered but didn't protest. If he closed his eyes, it would be over. It would stop. 

So he did. He closed his eyes, blocking out what was happening on screen. 

He still heard it, though. The whimpers of the little boy, and the grunts of the big man. The sounds that weren't voices, too. They nauseated him. But what nauseated him most was what he was feeling. 

Nathan's right hand was over his, making sure he wouldn't let go. The adult moved his hand up and down, pulling on something. Andrew knew it was his penis. He knew, but he refused to think it. It was something hard. Something with skin. Something… it was Nathan's penis. He was touching Nathan's penis. The adult was making him touch his penis. 

He closed his eyes tightly, and felt Nathan's left hand cup his crotch, much as he had when they were playing hide and seek. 

A quiet whimper escaped his lips then, and he pursed them tightly to make sure no more sounds would escape. He didn't want to sound like the boy on the screen. 

They sat there for a short while, the noises coming from the screen and the movements from Nathan. 

Nathan's breathing became labored and after a bit, he grunted, shoving his hips forward. 

Andrew felt something warm coat his hand, but he kept his eyes tightly shut. 

Nathan removed his hands, then, and there was the sound of fabric moving, and then a zipper closing. 

"Go wash up." 

\--

Andrew stepped into the bathroom and locked the door with shaking hands. 

He turned the water on, using only the warm knob. He ran his hands under the stream, watching the goop on his hand slowly drip off. 

His stomach gave a lurch then, and he barely made it to the toilet before his lunch reappeared. 

He leaned over the toilet, shivering even though the room was quite warm. He dry heaved a few times before some more of his stomach contents wound up in the toilet. 

He swallowed the sour bile in his mouth and went back to the sink. He put his hands under the running water and hissed as he nearly got a burn. The water had gotten too hot. 

He turned the cold knob, and pumped some soap out from the dispenser on the side of the sink. 

He rubbed his hands together, scrubbing them clean. 

He gagged again suddenly, and this time he missed the toilet. 

\--

He cleaned up the mess he'd made on the floor with some tissues, flushing them down the toilet along with the rest of his vomit. He brushed his hair out of his eyes and unlocked the bathroom door, returning to the room with the TV. 

"I'd like to go home now." He said quietly. 

"Oh, come on…" Nathan turned to him and smiled, as though nothing had just happened. "You don't even want to see Star Wars?" 

Andrew shook his head. "I want to go home. Please." 

Nathan sighed and stood up, stepping over to Andrew. He got onto his knees before him and cupped his cheeks. 

Andrew flinched, but didn't pull away. 

"You can't tell anyone, understand?" 

Andrew swallowed. 

"You did this." Nathan elaborated. "You made me do it." He said firmly. "You made me do everything." 

Andrew didn't answer. His chest was too tight. 

"If you tell anyone, you'll get into _so much_ trouble for making me do this." He paused. "Do you understand?" 

Andrew finally nodded. 

"Promise me." Nathan said, brushing his thumbs over Andrew's cheeks. "Swear it. Swear you won't tell anyone. It's our secret. I'll keep it for you, too." 

Andrew nodded again. 

"I need you to say it." Nathan insisted. 

"I… I swear." 

Nathan nodded. "I'll call your dad. But remember, if you tell him, he'll know it was your fault." 

Andrew nodded, looking at the spot he'd been sitting in on the sofa. He grabbed his bag and went to wait by the door until his father arrived. 


	27. Chapter Twenty-Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew deals with the aftermath.

Andrew went straight to his bedroom when he got home, and curled up in bed. After about twenty minutes, he went into the bathroom and turned on the water. He undressed and stepped into the shower, the hot water assaulting his back. 

He closed his eyes, losing himself in the sensations for a while. 

He sat down on the floor in the shower, just letting the water rush over him. 

He jumped a bit when there was a knock at the door. 

"Andrew?" It was his father. "Are you okay?" 

"I'm alright." He called back over the noise of the shower. 

There was silence for a few moments. "Are you sure?" 

"Yeah." 

"Alright. Just… alright." 

His father left then, and Andrew swallowed thickly, a rock in his throat. He whimpered, and all of a sudden he was full-on crying. 

\--

Once he'd calmed down, he scrubbed himself clean with soap and shampoo, washing his hands multiple times. He still felt that warm goop. 

He turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, and dried himself off with the hanging towel. 

He pulled on his pajamas, even though it was only four in the afternoon, and went back to his room, curling up in his bed. 

He wasn't going back to cub scouts. He wasn't. He didn't want to see Nathan ever again. He didn't know how to tell his parents that, though, without telling them the secret. He'd get in trouble, he was sure. He'd made Nathan do all of that. He'd made him… he shook his head. He didn't want to think about it. 

\--

He was called for dinner, and begrudgingly joined his family at the table. He was silent throughout, poking at his food but barely eating. 

His father and Alecia had both left the table when his mother took his nearly full plate from him. She rubbed his back as she did, in a way that would be soothing on any other day. 

Andrew stiffened at the contact, but didn't move. 

"Andrew…" she said quietly. 

He looked up at her. 

"Did something happen at cub scouts today?" She asked. "Did one of the other boys hurt you?" 

Andrew shook his head. "No." It was true. The other boys were all very nice and kind. It was the den leader that was the problem. 

She looked at him with worried eyes. "You can tell me what's wrong…" 

He swallowed. Should he? He'd get in trouble, though. He had made Nathan do something so wrong. 

She sighed and stepped away to put Andrew's unfinished food in a container. "Why don't you go ahead and watch some TV before bed?" 

He nodded mutely and slipped out of his chair, going to the living room. 

\--

He didn't sleep that night, his mind playing a movie of what had happened earlier over and over again. 

Once the sun came up, he slipped out of bed and went to take breakfast. It was a couple of hours earlier than he usually ate, but he knew he wasn't going to sleep. 

He poured out some cereal and milk, and sat on his knees as he ate. 

When he'd finished his food, he got some paper and his pencils, sitting down to draw. 

Nothing came, though, and he sat staring at the blank page until his mother came into the kitchen. 

He left the room then, going to get dressed. He didn't want her eyes on him, or her questions. 

\--

When he boarded the bus and passed the bully's seat, it seemed the older boy could sense he was extra vulnerable. He smirked at him. "No sleep last night? Did the widdle baby have a nightmare wast night?" 

Andrew felt his heart leap at that, and before he knew it, he had pounced on the older boy with a smarl, pummeling him with his fists. 

When they reached the school, the two boys were brought to the principal's office. 

Andrew sat in the large chair, holding his briefcase on his lap as he waited for his mother to exit the room. When she did, she motioned for him to follow her, and they left the school. 

When they reached home, she sat him down on the sofa, and looked at him with serious eyes. 

"Andrew." She said. "I need you to tell me the truth." She murmured. "I need to know what happened yesterday." 

He picked at the fabric on the sofa, not meeting her eyes. "Nothing." 

"Did Nathan hurt you?" She asked. "What did he do?" 

He swallowed. She knew. Oh, she knew. Was he going to get into trouble? Grounded? Worse than grounded? 

"Nothing." He said. 

"Andrew…" she reached over and cupped his cheek, and he pulled away. "You need to tell me, Honey. Something is wrong." 

He shook his head and slipped off of the couch. "I'm going to my room." He said simply, leaving the room. 

\--

He stayed home from school the next day, and the next, staying in his room most of the day. 

His father knocked on his door on the third day, opening the door. 

Andrew was sitting by his desk, drawing a few faces on one sheet of paper. They were all frowning and angry. 

His father walked into the room. "Hey, Buddy." He said softly. "Are you hungry for lunch?" 

He shook his head. 

His father was silent for a few minutes. "Andrew." He said finally. "Tell me what happened. I promise I'm not going to be angry." His voice was soft, softer than Andrew remembered ever hearing it. "I promise… whatever Nathan told you we were going to do, or think… that's not true." He paused. "Your mom and I…" his voice hitched. "Just tell me what happened, Andrew. We can make sure he doesn't do it again, whatever it was. To anyone, not only you." 

Andrew looked up finally. "Promise you won't get angry?" He whispered. 

"I swear it." His father said. 

Andrew swallowed thickly and fiddled with his pencil. 

Then he told his father everything. 


	28. Chapter Twenty-Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan gets his comeuppance. 
> 
> Ps authors note; I am aware that the pronouns in this chapter are confusing. I will brush them up with my second draft.

He followed the cub scout leader - he had said his name was Nathan - as he walked to his car. The man opened the back door to retrieve bags of groceries. He glanced around, making sure the street was deserted. 

He slipped behind him and quickly covered his mouth and nose with the chloroform-laced rag. 

They struggled for a few moments before Nathan slumped, and he shoved him into the car, on top of the plastic bags. He grabbed the keys from the floor, where Nathan had dropped them, and stepped around to start the car. 

He'd have to come back for his own vehicle, but this worked. 

He drove the car to the shack. He stepped out and dragged Nathan's limp form inside. He grunted and lifted him up, depositing him on the table. He strapped his limbs down, and set up the IV needle in his arm. He'd learned in his last two kills how to do it more efficiently, and the first change he'd implemented was setting up the needle before the target awoke. 

It was only a few minutes before Nathan blinked his eyes open. 

He leaned over him, smiling. "Hello there." He said. "Good morning." 

Nathan's eyes widened as he realized he was strapped down. "What's going on? Who are you?" 

He smiled. "I'm your reckoning." He said, stepping back. 

Nathan's eyes followed him. "Wh-what do you mean?" The young man's voice shook. 

He smiled coldly and went to his binder, pulling out the picture of the young boy. "Remember this?" He asked, holding it up so Nathan could see. 

"I… no. You don't…" 

He set down the picture then, and walked back. "I don't what?" He asked. "Give me all of your excuses now. They won't help you, but I'd like to hear them anyway." 

"You don't understand." Nathan insisted. "I didn't… he didn't…" 

"He's a child." He snapped. "You stole that from him." 

Nathan's eyes darted around the room. "Let me go. Please. I won't do it again, I swear." 

"A promise from your kind means nothing." He said coldly. 

"My… my kind?" 

He stepped over and picked up the hand pump. "Pedophiles." He said coldly, giving a pump, and then another. 

Nathan's eyes widened. "What are you doing?" 

He grinned at him. "Cleansing the world of filth like you." He gave another pump. 

Nathan looked around the room again, clearly looking for a way out. 

"You're not my first, you know." He said, pumping a few more times for good measure before releasing the hand pump. "And you won't be my last." There was enough air in his bloodstream now. He would be dead within the hour, if all went well. 

Nathan watched him, his entire body shuddering. "Please…" 

He looked at him with cold eyes. "Did the boys you took advantage of beg you? Did it stop you?" 

"Please let me go…" 

He sat down in his chair, silently watching the young man plead for his life until he shouted and arched, his pallor going nearly green. Nathan squirmed and grunted on the table for a good few minutes before he stopped, going completely limp. 

He stood up and went to get the hand saw. 


	29. Chapter Twenty-Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin and Jackson deal with the aftermath.

It was nearly midnight, and Robin sat at the table with her husband, the silence between them heavy. Jackson had just told her everything Andrew told him about Nathan. Most of the information was about what had happened on Sunday, but he had mentioned that Nathan had taken pictures, as well. 

"I'm calling a lawyer tomorrow." Jackson said, finally. "We need to know our next steps." 

Robin nodded, playing with the edge of her coffee mug. "I want him locked up. I want them to throw away the key." 

Jackson nodded. "Me too, Robin." He sighed. "I think we need them to find those pictures. Otherwise…" 

She looked at him. 

"Otherwise there is no evidence." 

"No evidence?" She snapped. "Our boy is a different person now." 

He nodded. "We know that, and I'm sure even his teachers do… but how are the police to know that?" 

She looked down at the decaf coffee in her mug, staring into the liquid as though looking for answers. She sighed heavily. "What are we gonna do, Jackson?" 

There was silence from the other side of the table. 

She looked up at him. "First thing we need to do is find a good therapist." She said firmly. 

He nodded. 

"We need to go at his speed. If he's not ready to go back to school, he's not ready to go back to school. He'll get there." 

"Mhmm." He took a drink from his own mug. "At least he felt safe enough to tell us." 

She nodded, and then sighed. "I want him dead, Jackson." She admitted. "He killed Andrew, and I want him dead." 

He nodded. "I know what you mean." 

She looked up at him. "God, I feel so tired." She said. "I mean… I know it's going to be a long road from here, and I'm not ready." 

"Neither am I." Jackson said. "And I'm sure he isn't either. But life is how life is. We take what we are given." 

She nodded, her chest tight. "I can't believe it happened to _our son_." She whispered. " _Ours_. It's not something you ever really imagine touching you in reality. It's just something you talk about when you talk about other people." 

"Yeah." He said. "It's… not something you ever really plan for. But we need to act on it. Now." He paused. "In case Nathan gets rid of the pictures. At the very least we can have him arrested for that. Somehow. If we can get the police to believe us enough to investigate, and if they find them." 

She looked at him seriously. "Those are a lot of 'if's." 

"I know." He murmured. "But that's all we have." 

They both looked towards the hallway, where they heard the sounds of someone walking slowly. 

Andrew stepped into the room, and oh, he looked so small. "Couldn't sleep." He said. "C'n I sleep in your room?" He asked. 

"Of course, Hon." Robin answered quickly. "Do you want some cocoa?" 

Andrew stood there for a moment, and then nodded. 

She stood up and went to get the small pot to start boiling up the milk. 

Jackson turned to look at their son. "Hey, Bud." He said softly. 

Andrew rubbed an eye with the back of his hand. He had bags under his eyes, and it was clear he hadn't properly slept since Sunday. 

Robin turned to smile at him softly. "Go on and sit down." She grabbed the bag of mini marshmallows from the closet, popping one of them into her mouth as she prepared the hot cocoa for him. 

\--

When she returned home from school the next evening, Jackson had compiled a list of a few numbers and the names of the people linked to the numbers. 

Once Alecia was in her room doing homework, and Andrew was in bed - their bed, he'd asked before even trying his own - they both sat down to discuss their options. 

Jackson had called a few lawyers to gather information, and had found out how to report it to the authorities. He was advised that they would have to contact their local precinct and give them the information, and they would write up a search warrant to check his place for the pictures. 

He'd also found a few therapists, and had compiled them all based on the money they would have to pay out of pocket. 

Initially, he had contacted their insurance, and had found that no one that took their insurance seemed to be the right fit. 

They arranged for Robin to make the phone call to the precinct, and she decided she would take a day off of work so they could go to visit the top therapist on the list. 

\--

Both Robin and Jackson came to Andrew's first appointment. The therapist asked him if he wanted his parents in the room or outside, and after some deliberation, he said that he wanted them there. 

So they sat in the room, Jackson on the sofa next to Andrew, and she was in the armchair nearby. 

The therapist let Andrew self-direct the session, offering a few toys or a paper and crayons. 

He, as he often did, gravitated towards drawing, and sat on his knees by the small table, drawing and answering her questions with one to three word answers. 

When the session time was nearly over, the therapist asked Andrew to go into the waiting room while she spoke with his parents. 

When Andrew had closed the door behind himself, she turned to them. "He definitely has recent trauma. That isn't a question." 

"Can you help him?" Jackson asked, not letting her continue. 

She tilted her head, looking at him. "I can certainly try. But you need to understand that therapy isn't just three sessions and he's cured." 

"We know." Robin said flatly. "He'll probably have need for therapy for the rest of his life. But _can you help him_?" She repeated her husband's question. 

"I can be here for him and try to get him to open up. I can be here to help him process." She explained. "I can give him some tools to deal with the aftermath." She paused. "One thing I will say, it is a very big thing that you're getting him help so soon after the abuse happened." She said. "Typically it is a few months or even _years_ before an abused child finds their way to therapy. So I have very high hopes for Andrew moving forward."


	30. Chapter Thirty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew is still dealing with the aftermath.

Andrew sat by the kitchen table, waiting for his dad to give him his dinner plate. He'd just come home from his second therapy appointment. He was slowly starting to trust the woman, but for now he still had either his mom or his dad in the room with him as he mostly played with her toys or drew on a sheet of paper. 

He knew why he was there. He knew his parents were bringing him there to talk about what had happened with Nathan. 

He didn't want to talk about it, though. Not yet. Not ever, he thought. He'd told his father. Why did he have to talk about it with the strange woman? 

His father set his plate down in front of him, and he picked up his fork to start on his food. 

He had started going back to school a couple of days earlier, and things were slowly going back to normal. As normal as they could be. 

Alecia seemed to know _something_ had happened, as she was giving him a wide berth. He wished she wouldn't, though. Alecia was safe. Even safer than their parents, in some ways. He felt a bit betrayed by what felt like her drawing away. 

He poked at his food a bit, taking a bite every so often. 

"I was thinking, Andrew…" his mother said, taking a plate for herself and sitting down at the table. "What do you think about going to Dani on Sunday?" 

He looked up and swallowed. "I…" she was his friend, and he trusted her. But he didn't want to leave the house for anything but school. 

"It's alright if you don't want to go." She said gently. "It's just an offer." 

He nodded. "Next week?" 

She smiled at him. "Next week." 

\--

"What do you mean he wasn't there?" 

Andrew's ears perked up as he heard his father's voice raised in the kitchen. He had been on the phone when he started towards his room, and now he stopped still, eavesdropping. 

"Did he skip town?" 

There was a long pause, presumably as his father waited for the other person to speak. 

"Okay…" His father paused. "So what now?" He asked. "Did you find anything?" 

Another long pause. 

"And of my son…?"

His voice got quieter and harder to hear as it seemed he was walking to the study. 

Andrew swallowed and walked down the hallway to his room. 

Nathan was gone. That was good, right? It meant he didn't have to see him again. Granted, his parents had told him he didn't need to go to cub scouts again, so he hadn't gone that week. But it was open-ended now. Nathan wasn't locked away, which meant he could show up anywhere. 

\--

Dani sat down on the bus bench next to him, setting her bag down by her feet. "So." She looked at him. "You're different." 

Andrew's head shot up. "What?" 

She hummed. "You're different. Since you disappeared from school last week. Were you sick?" 

Andrew shook his head. "I don't wanna talk about it." 

Dani frowned but backed off at that. "Okay." She said. After a few moments of silence, she spoke again. "Do you want to start the Spider-Man videos again?" She asked. "Since we finished all of them?" 

He chewed his bottom lip. He enjoyed spending time with Dani. Dani was safe. Dani was his friend. He nodded after a few moments. "Yeah. We could." 

\--

The next week, at his therapy appointment, the woman asked his mother to leave the room for a bit. 

When his mother was out of the room, she asked him if there was anything about Nathan that Andrew hadn't told his parents. 

Nathan pressed his pencil against the paper so hard that he broke the tip. 

"It's alright, Andrew." She said, raising her hands a bit. "We don't have to speak about it yet." 

"Yet." He repeated. "I don't wanna talk about it _ever_." He said, barely above a mumble. 

She nodded. "I know." She nodded. "But you don't talk about it with someone, it will just hurt you more." She said. "Do you know how when you fall and scrape your knee, mom and dad put on some cream and a bandage?" 

He nodded, not sure where this was going. 

"This is like that. We have to put medicine on it, or else it will get infected." 

Andrew chewed his bottom lip, not answering her. 

"Your mom and dad brought you to me because I have some medicine." She explained. "And we can't find the right medicine unless we know what happened." 

"Nothing happened." He said flatly. 

She reached for one of the pencils, and started drawing on her own paper. "Do you want to talk about what happened to Nathan? That the police can't find him?" 

Andrew looked at her with wide eyes. "How do you know that?" 

She hummed. "I'm your therapist, Andrew. I know that the police are looking for him." 

Andrew scribbled out a part of the picture he was drawing. It wasn't right. 

"Are you scared that they won't find him?" 

Andrew shrugged. "I'm just happy he's gone." 

\--

Andrew woke up that night in a cold sweat. He slipped out of bed and went to his parents' room. He knocked on the door and pushed it open. 

His parents were sound asleep, and his father was snoring slightly. 

Andrew climbed onto the bed and squirmed between his parents. 

His mother groaned, but shifted to wrap an arm around him. 

\--

In the morning, Andrew woke up when his mother slipped out of bed. He shifted and stretched out a bit, but didn't fall back asleep. His father got out of bed soon after, and when the room was empty, he slipped out, going to get dressed in his own room. 

He overheard his parents talking in the kitchen, and stopped walking so he could hear some more. They seemed to be talking about him and Nathan a lot. 

"I don't like that Andrew is regressing either, Jackson," came his mother's voice. "But we need to realize that at this point it is what he needs. It's a coping mechanism. If we stop him before he's ready, we'll do more harm than good." 

His father was silent for a bit. "I just don't like it. I'm allowed to not like it, am I not?" His voice was sharp, almost crisp. 

"You're allowed to not like it." Her voice sounded resigned. "We can ask his therapist if we should go on allowing it?" 

There was silence for a while then, and Andrew deemed it safe to walk into the room. 

The next night, even though he woke up and couldn't fall back asleep, he stayed out of his parents' room. 


	31. Chapter Thirty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another addition to the binder.

He stood in wait for his target to walk by. The man he knew to be a teacher usually took his garbage out on thursday nights, so that was when he pulled his car into the small nook where the large garbage dumpster stood. 

When the man had thrown his trash bag into the dumpster, he stood there for a moment, wiping his hands on his jeans. 

He took the opportunity and slipped behind him, pushing the chloroformed rag over his mouth and nose. 

The man grunted and struggled before he passed out, and he quickly dragged him to the car, depositing him in the back seat. 

He drove to the shack and set him on the table, efficiently securing him with the straps. He was getting better and better at this with each target. 

He lined up the IV needle, and taped it down. 

It had been a few weeks since his last kill, and he knew that the police force were probably getting suspicious with the four recent disappearances, even though there were no bodies for them to trace. 

He watched as the man blinked his eyes open, and then try to pull his hand up. His eyes widened as he found that he couldn't, and he turned his and noticed him, standing a few feet off his side. 

"Who the fuck are you and what's going on?" 

He hummed and stepped over to the table, picking up the hand pump. "Remember little Ally?" He asked. He had referred to his binder while the man was out. "She froze up on the stand, and you got off scot-free." He paused. "How many other children did you hurt since?" 

The man's eyes widened even further, and he could see that his pupils were so dilated that they were barely visible. 

"You didn't even have to register as a sex offender, even though the poor girl was so frightened of you that she couldn't open her mouth." He lifted the hand pump and gave a squeeze. 

The man shook his head. "Let me go. Please." 

"Hmmm." He hummed, making a show of thinking about it. "No." He was starting to properly enjoy the killing. He gave the pump another squeeze. 

"Please… I have a family." 

He laughed at that. "Oh, don't try to bullshit me. I know you're so single that not one person will even notice you're missing." 

The man looked around the room futilely for something to help him escape. 

"You won't be able to break the straps." He said simply, giving another few pumps and then stepping back, letting the air do the work for him.

The teacher lasted the longest of the now five people he'd killed. Almost two hours of struggling and pleading. Every twenty minutes, he added more air to his bloodstream. After forty, he shoved a rag in his mouth to get him to shut up. When he finally arched up as his heart failed, he cut the body up into small pieces, as he had with the previous targets, and added him to the binder. 


	32. Chapter Thirty-Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin and Jackson find out about why Nathan disappeared.

It had been a few weeks since Andrew had come home from Nathan's place a changed child, and the cub scouts leader was still missing. 

Life was returning to normal, though. Andrew was slowly edging out of his shell a bit again, talking a bit more and smiling again every so often. 

Robin had changed into her pajamas for the night and joined her husband in bed. 

There was a news story on, and she turned her attention to it. 

"The mystery of the seven strange missing persons cases in the last few months has finally been solved." The anchor said, over a clip of a man being taken into custody, flocked by multiple officers. "The man allegedly responsible for the disappearances, Charles Fletcher, was arrested just this afternoon after his next intended victim woke up in the back of his car and used his cellular phone to call for help." 

The screen cut back to the anchor sitting at the desk. "Police are currently investigating, and refused to give out further information at this point, but it seems they found evidence that tied him to all seven disappearances. The man surrendered without a fight, and apparently admitted to everything."

Robin shivered and settled down in their bed, turning to her husband. "Terrifying. I didn't even know people were going missing." 

He hummed and turned the page of the book he was reading. "Hm?" 

"I think they just caught a serial killer, right here in Butte." 

\--

Robin was in school teaching the next day when the principal poked his head into her classroom. "Mrs. Michaels?" He motioned for her to join him outside in the hallway. 

Robin nodded and stood up, instructing her students to work on something while she was out. 

"I'll watch your class for a while. Your husband is on the phone in the office, and he said it was quite urgent. Even an emergency." 

She frowned and nodded, hurrying down the hallway to receive the call. 

She picked up the receiver. "Jackson? What's wrong?" 

"Nathan." 

Her heart skipped a beat. "What about him?" 

There was a pause from the other end of the call. "The serial killer? From last night?" His voice sounded… strange. "They found evidence that he was one of his victims." 

"What?" She asked. 

"He's dead, Robin. The man…" he paused. "He was targeting pedophiles." 

"Good." She said, the word escaping her lips before she could think. 

"What are we going to tell Andrew?" 

She thought for a moment. "The truth, obviously. He'll sleep better, I think." 

He was silent for a few moments. "I'll pick you both up from school and take you to his therapist." He said. "And we can tell him together." 

She nodded. "Give a call to his therapist to let her know before." 

"I will." There was a pause. "I love you, Robin." 

She smiled. "I love you too, Jackson. I need to get back to my class." 

\--

After school, Jackson was waiting outside for the both of them in his truck. 

She made sure Andrew was buckled in before they drove off. 

When they got to his appointment, Andrew waited patiently for the therapist to open the door and let them in. 

Once she did, he sat in his usual spot and started drawing without and prompting. 

"Andrew." The therapist said. "Your parents have something important to talk with you about." 

He looked up. 

Robin spoke up then. "Andrew… Honey. They found Nathan." 

He stiffened at that, his brow furrowing. 

"He's dead." She said. "He was killed by a man who was hunting people for hurting children like Nathan hurt you." 

"Good." He said coldly, looking down at his paper. "Good." He repeated. 

She swallowed and looked at his therapist questioningly. 

"He definitely can't come back to hurt you again now." The therapist supplied. "But we know you were close with him before. Are you upset about it?" 

Andrew shrugged. "No." He said simply. "I didn't like him anymore. Not a bit." 

"Why not?" She pressed. 

Robin watched them speak. This was the most Andrew had opened up since he'd started coming to her almost two months ago. 

"Because he was always weird. Even though he was nice." He paused. "One time when we were playing hide and seek…" 

The therapist was silent, letting him gather his thoughts. 

"He was weird. He… touched me. On my penis." 

She nodded. "Which made you feel…?" 

"I didn't feel anything." He said flatly. "He was weird." 

"You must have felt _something_." She pressed. 

Andrew swallowed. "Scared." He said. "Bad. Cuz he wasn't always weird." He scribbled on the paper. "So I dunno… I don't know why he did it." 

She hummed. "He did it because he was a sick, bad man." She said. "He didn't do it because of something you did." 

He swallowed. "He said it was." He whispered. 

Robin's heart sank at that, and she pursed her lips, holding back from speaking or going to comfort her son. She didn't want to ruin this moment. He was finally speaking about it. 

"It wasn't." The therapist said. "He said that to you to make sure you didn't tell anyone and get him into trouble." 

Andrew shrugged at that. 

"Why do you think it was your fault, other than him telling you it was?" She asked. 

Andrew didn't answer, and he was silent for most of the rest of the session. 

\--

When they got home, Andrew went straight to his room, going to do his homework. 

Robin joined her husband in the kitchen, preparing for dinner. "It got him to open up." She said, setting the plates down on the table. "That's good, right?" 

Jackson nodded. "He'll open up more now, I think. Now that he's not afraid Nathan will do it again." 

She nodded. "I hope you're right." 

He sighed and stepped next to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and holding her close for just a moment. "We are not bad parents." 

"I don't think we are." She said, pulling away. 

He hummed. "I think you do. Because I think so too." 

She pursed her lips and didn't respond. 

"I keep beating myself up. Thinking that we could have stopped it. But he played us. He played all of us, like a fiddle." 

He waited for her to respond, but she just went to get a bottle of juice from the fridge. 

"Nathan was sick, and he was good at it." He said. "He pulled the wool over everyone's eyes. Think about the boy scouts. Would they have hired them if they'd have known?" 

"Maybe." She snapped. "I looked it up. We're not the first family this happened to. There are cases going back to the _seventies_." 

"What are you saying?" He asked. 

"I'm saying we should sue them." 

He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Robin… first of all, we don't have the kind of money for a lawyer for a case this big. Secondly, I want to leave it behind us. Behind Andrew. Bringing up a lawsuit will just reopen the wound until it is closed." 

She glared at him. "I want them to pay." 

There was the sound of footsteps from the hallway. 

"We'll talk later." He said simply, putting a tray of food on the table. 

  
  



	33. Chapter Thirty-Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charles goes to trial and starts his new life in prison.

Charles took the pro-bono lawyer they offered him. He didn't care to have a good defense. In fact, he planned on pleading guilty once they got to trial, though up until that point he was insisting on not guilty so it would get more publicity. He wanted as many people as possible to know why he did it. The how wasn't important. He wanted them to know _why_ he was killing people. Why he chose those specific people. 

He was brought into the courtroom and made to sit down in the chair. There were two security guards. Two men he recognized from the locker rooms in the courthouse. He hummed and waited for the judge to walk in. 

His lawyer presented his plea, and all of the eyebrows in the room shot up. The evidence was clear. He had been arrested directly in front of the shack that contained the vat of acid, a clear pile of ashes where he'd burned all of the clothes, and last but not least, the binder with the pictures of his victims and the motive clearly written out. 

The prosecution brought all of that up, but they had to hold to his plea, and they adjourned after very little discussion. 

\--

He walked into his cell, and the guard closed the gate and locked it behind him. 

He sat down on the small cot and looked down at his hands. This was it, then. He was going to be here for the rest of his life. It was worth it, though. He wanted to send a message, and possibly… just possibly, inspire other people to do the same and rid the world of those monsters. 

\--

When they went to trial, just under two months after his arrest, he was happy to see a large number of members of the press on the benches. He was brought in and sat down in his chair next to his lawyer, and they cuffed him to the table. 

The judge walked in, and everybody rose. 

Opening statements were presented, the prosecutor talking about the victims and the lives they led, before bringing up the frantic 911 call from the man who'd managed to wake up in the back of his car. 

His lawyer, as he insisted, waived the right to an opening statement. 

The prosecutor brought forward the binder, and read excerpts of his writing after showing evidence of his fingerprints on the outside of the binder. He then brought forward witnesses, starting with the arresting officers who had found the evidence, and then moving on to the man who had escaped. 

Then came time for the defense. 

Instead of presenting evidence or bringing up witnesses, the lawyer requested Charles himself be brought to the stand. 

While up there, he questioned him about his motives. 

"It was years of seeing people get away with horrible things." Charles explained, looking specifically at the members of the press. "Years of standing in pretrial and in the courtroom, watching victims be either ignored or simply be too terrified to bring a proper accusation." His voice was soft, but the mic before him projected it for him. "I finally had enough with the man who'd been selling pedophilic material. When his case was so clear cut, when it was clear he was _directly_ involved with gathering and reselling material… and when he got off on a simple _formality_ …" He shook his head. "I had enough. I had to act on it." 

He looked at the jury, then. "They killed more people than I did." He said simply. "The children they murdered… the lives they changed and took from them." He shook his head. "I did the world a favor, and you _all_ know that. If you could get away with riding the world of just one pedophile, wouldn't you?" He asked. "I got rid of seven. Think of how many children I saved." 

He paused, and then looked at the judge. "I plead guilty, obviously." 

There was a murmur throughout the courtroom, and the judge called for silence, sending Charles back to his chair. 

Court was adjourned then, for the jury to discuss the case. 

Charles knew they wouldn't be long. The case was clear cut, and the evidence was all there and legal. 

This would be the shortest trial for a serial killer in history. 

\--

He got sentenced to multiple life sentences, as he had committed seven murders. 

He was transported to the prison, and that was when his new life started. 

He would wake every morning at six AM, do some reading, make his bed, and then the guards would bring him and his cellmate their breakfast. 

They would do roll call, and then be escorted to their jobs. He would sit at his sewing machine sewing military uniforms for four hours. When the alarm buzzed, the prisoners all set down their work and were herded back to the main area for their lunch. After they ate, it was right back to work. 

When the buzzer went off again, they were escorted back for dinner, and then it was leisure time.

He had no problems with the other prisoners. They all knew who he was, as the trial had garnered a fair amount of publicity, and they respected him for it. Not for the murders. There were murderers a-plenty in this prison… They looked up to him for who he had targeted. 

His cellmate in particular seemed to idolize him for it. It was almost a half a year before the other man finally explained why. He himself had been sexually abused as a child, by his pastor. 

He listened as the man spoke, and they slowly became proper friends, trusting each other and depending on each other in the tiny, self-contained world in that building. 


	34. Chapter Thirty-Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charles spends a few years in prison, and connects with Andrew.

It had been a peaceful six months to start, but then there was a brawl in the dining area. One of the other prisoners had managed to fashion a shiv, and tried to stab the man who was the current "king of the prison yard". The strip-searching after that lasted a month, and everyone was subject to it. 

About a year after he was initially imprisoned, someone tried to take something up with him. Something about a job assignment. Before he knew it, a few of the other prisoners stood up and blocked the other, larger man's way, telling him to back off. 

A few months after that, he received his first care package, along with a handwritten letter. 

"Dear Charles, 

I hope you like the candy. It's my favorite type. I like how sour it is. 

My mom didn't want me to send it to you, or to write you a letter, but I promised to clean my room for a month, and I did. So she let me. 

My name is Andrew. You killed Nathan. Thank you. 

You are a good man, even though you're in jail. 

We just started learning how to write letters, and I got a pen pal in Texas. Her name is Sabrina. She told me about her cat. I decided I wanted you to be my other pen pal outside of school. 

Write me back, 

Andrew Michaels."

He sat in his cell, reading and rereading the letter until the guards turned the lights out. 

He slept well that night. Better than he had in the year he had been in prison. 

\--

The next day, during leisure time, he sat down to reply to Andrew. 

"Dear Andrew;

I would be honored to be your second pen-pal. I don't have a lot to write about, though, because life in prison is quite boring. It is the same thing every day. Do you want me to tell you what it is like? 

What is your favorite subject in school?

Yours, 

Charles"

\--

They exchanged letters once every month or two, and Charles watched the little boy grow from a young child to a teenager through his letters. 

He received more letters than care packages, but one day when Andrew was thirteen, he received a rather large package. 

The letter alongside it looked like it was hastily written. 

"Charlie,

Remember how I told you we were taking the boy scouts to court? Well, we won the case! Mom and Dad said I can choose whatever college I want to go to with the money. It's a LOT of money. I think we're rich now. 

Dani and her family moved back to New York. She also changed her name from Dani to Sonya, now that she's out of the closet. I miss her, but I think she's happy to be back. She was homesick for a long time.

Did you get the book I sent you? I drew a picture of the main character. If you didn't read the book, I'll tell you who he is." 

The letter went on with the description, and when he finished reading the letter, Charles folded it up and added it to his pile, hanging the picture up on the wall next to his bed along with the other drawings Andrew had sent him. 

\--

The boy was now a young man. He was nearly 18, and was packing up to go to college. He promised to come visit after he turned 18 and before he left to New York. He was going to attend Pratt Institute to pursue a degree in graphic design and illustration, apparently, and was unable to sleep since he received his acceptance letter, wanting to move out there already. 

Andrew had a spark to him. In a sense, he saw a small part of himself in the young man, and he wanted him to have something important to him. He didn't know why, in all honesty. In a way, he wanted to have a legacy in the boy. Some record of what he'd done and why. He had all of that in the court records, and with his prison compatriots. But the outside world had all but forgotten the things he'd done and why. 

So he sat down with his cellmate, he was set to be released for good behavior. 

"I have a favor to ask of you." He said, poking at his dinner. Yay, prison food. 

The man looked up questioningly. 

"There's something I hid behind the mirror in my old apartment." He said, pausing as a prison guard passed their table. "Not the one I was living at when I was arrested. They searched the place, so anything I hid would have been found." 

"Charles…" 

He raised a hand to silence him. "It's just a key." He said. "All I need is for you to find a way in to the place and get the key from behind the mirror." He took a bite of the cotton-dry chicken that lay on his styrofoam tray. "It's all I ask. I know it's a risk, but it would mean everything to me." 

The man fixed him with a look, and then sighed. "You know, I had a feeling you'd ask me for a favor before I got out." He smiled wryly. "I owe you, for taking those people out. For helping kids who went through things like me." He paused. "So give me the address." 

\--

He was led into the visiting room, and sat down by the table. There were other people visiting, and there were multiple guards in the room, walking through and eavesdropping on conversations to make sure nothing illicit was going on. There were also cameras, pointing every which way. 

He smiled widely as he saw a handsome young man heading his way. 

"Well, look at you." He grinned as Andrew sat down. "It's nice to finally meet you." He offered his hand. 

Andrew chuckled and took it, giving a firm shake. "You too, Charlie." His eyes sparkled, and he sat down opposite him. "So… what do people usually talk about when they visit people in prison?" 

Charles laughed and shook his head. "I don't know." He admitted. "You're my first visitor since I got thrown in here eleven years ago." 

Andrew sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I would have come sooner, but my parents would have come with me… and they don't particularly approve of this friendship." 

Charles nodded. "I mean, can you blame them?" He asked. "Considering…" 

He nodded. "I know. But I owe you so much. I'd never have been able to sleep if you hadn't done what you did." 

Charles smiled at him softly. "I appreciate you saying that. Some days it is hard, and it's good to know I made a difference." 

"You did. You definitely did." 

They chatted for a while, most of the conversation coming from Andrew speaking of his plans in New York. He would be leaving the next week. Apparently, he'd be rooming with his old friend, Sonya. 

Before he left, Charles leaned forward. He wasn't sure he wanted to follow through with this, but in the end, he spoke. "I have a friend. My cellmate. I told him about you, and he wanted to send you something after he gets out. A gift from me, though I can't get it or send it while I'm in here." 

Andrew furrowed his brow. "What?" 

Charles smiled. "Just trust me. He's a good man." 

Andrew looked at him for a few moments before nodding. "Alright." He said finally. "If you trust him, I trust him." 


	35. Chapter Thirty-Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew, now 19 years old, is settled into college life, and goes to an art exhibition.

Andrew dropped his bag near his bed and flopped down on top of his blanket. 

They had won the case, and earned just over a million out of it, but his parents insisted the money stay in a trust, and he work to pay a percentage of his rent and for food, though his tuition and therapy were fully covered. 

The money was there for his future. For building a home and a family, and maintaining a certain standard of living if his earnings didn't cover it, but not to let him skate by. So he worked an early morning shift in Starbucks before his classes started. 

Boy, he was starting to hate coffee, though he still appreciated it for the boost it gave him. 

He got up and changed into something more school-worthy, and packed his sketchbook and laptop in his bag before heading out of his room. He banged on Sonya's door. "Wake up, mon cheri! You're gonna be late." 

There was a groan from the young woman, and he rolled his eyes, heading out to his first class of the day. 

\--

Sonya was off working when he returned to their small apartment. He had been out sketching in the nearby park until it got too dark. He hummed and started making dinner for himself, a couple of burgers on the small countertop grill. 

He sat down with his phone while he waited for the grill to heat up, scrolling through his social media. 

When the grill clicked on, he popped in the meat and closed the cover, turning then as he heard the door unlock. 

Sonya stepped into the apartment, and went straight to the jar on the counter, dropping her tips from the day through the slot at the top. "Hey." She greeted her roommate as she took a notebook out of the drawer and jotted down her take. "You look like it's been a long day." 

He hummed and leaned back against the counter. "What gave it away?" 

She hummed. "I don't know. I just sense it." She went to the fridge, checking its contents. "Are you ready for the exhibition next week?" 

He shrugged. "As I will be, I suppose. You coming?" 

She grabbed a clementine from the drawer and started peeling it. "I asked for a different shift that day. They gave me closing. Don't say I never do anything for you." She said, pointing at him. 

He smiled. "Thanks." He said. "I appreciate it. I like my classmates, but…" 

"But they're not me." She finished. "Are you finishing the burgers?" She asked. 

He shook his head. "I can throw a couple in for you." 

"Appreciated." She said, popping the last bit of the fruit in her mouth. "I've gotta work on some schoolwork. Give a shout when it's on the table." She said, walking out of the room. 

\--

Andrew looked himself over in the mirror, and fixed his cuffs. He wanted to look properly put together for this exhibition. He might be able to network a bit, and perhaps even get an illustration job out of it. 

Sonya stepped out of her room and grinned at him. "Come on, let's go. I want to see your art all over the walls." 

He let her lead the way out of the apartment, and locked up after himself. "It won't be _all ove_ r. I have three pieces, and they'll all be next to each other." 

She shrugged. "Eh, I can still be proud of my bestie." 

He smiled at her and they headed off to the gallery. 

When they arrived, they both got a drink each - nonalcoholic, most of the students being featured were under legal drinking age - and they strolled around together. They stopped at his section of wall together. 

He himself was in awe of his work when it was displayed like this. He felt like a true artist. 

They parted while Sonya excused herself to the ladies' room, and he walked around to look at other students' pieces. 

He stopped in front of a contemporary looking piece, tilting his head as he examined it. 

"What do you think?" A woman's voice came from his right. 

He turned his head briefly, and then looked at it again. "I don't know." He said. "I don't usually do contemporary." He paused. "I guess… if I had to say anything, I think it looks too forced. Like the artist tried too hard to be sophisticated." 

"Really?" She asked. 

He nodded. "The work just doesn't speak to me. It feels more like an assignment than a work of passion." 

"Well…" she hummed. "I appreciate the critique, I guess." 

He nearly coughed on his drink then. "Oh-" He lowered his glass. "This is yours. Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" 

She shook her head. "It's fine. Contemporary art isn't your taste anyway, like you said." 

He looked back at the piece. "I mean… I can definitely see that it belongs in the exhibition." 

"Oh, no. Don't backpedal." She said, though there was a fun edge to her voice. "I heard your criticism loud and clear." 

He turned to face her then. "I'd like to properly apologize." He said. "I should have realized that you weren't just a random person asking…" 

She shook her head. "Don't." She murmured. "I appreciate it, actually. You can't grow in your art without criticism." 

He nodded. "I'd like to make it up to you, though. Do you like coffee?" 

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you… coming on to me?" 

He unconsciously took a step back. "What? No. I just feel like I owe you something for being so cold about it." 

She laughed. "Oh, but I wouldn't mind. I like that you were so blunt about it." 

He flushed a bit, and then noticed Sonya walking over. "Here-" he pulled out his card, which he'd been saving for networking. "Text me." 

She took the card from him, grinning. "Smooth move-" She said, glancing at the card. "- Andrew." 

He smiled. "And your name is…" 

She motioned to the corner of the painting, where her name was signed neatly. "Alice. My friends call me Ali." 

He smiled and nodded. "Well, text me, Ali. I'd love to have a coffee with you sometime." He walked off then, going to meet back up with Sonya. 


	36. Chapter Thirty-Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew meets up with Alice a couple of times, and a letter is received at his house in Butte.

Andrew was sitting on their small sofa, flicking through available titles on Netflix. 

Sonya came into the room and flopped down next to him. 

"Good shabbos." He greeted her. 

She smiled and took a sip of her coffee. "G'shabbos." She hummed, still clearly half asleep. 

"Going out today?" He asked. 

She shook her head. "Just staying in and reading some. You?" 

He shrugged. "I have till ten, then I'm meeting Alice for coffee." 

"Ooo Alice." She teased, budging him with her elbow. "Is that the girl from the exhibition?" 

He nodded, finally settling on a title he'd seen many times before. "I don't particularly know what I'm doing." He admitted. He'd never been on a date before. It just never worked out. 

She laughed. "Just go. Be yourself." She smiled. "I like you, and I'm sure she will as well." 

He smiled at his best friend and then looked back at the screen. "Thanks." 

She hummed and crossed her legs as she gazed at the screen, watching his selection. They never bickered over movie choices on Saturdays, as Sonya was strict enough that she didn't use electronics on her Sabbath. Some other things… she was more lax in, being a bit jaded by the lack of understanding she had received from her community. But she seemed to have a connection to her day of rest. 

\--

Alice was sitting at a small table in the coffee shop when he arrived. He shrugged off his light jacket and set it on the back of the chair opposite her. 

"I already ordered." She said by way of greeting him. "Good morning." 

He smiled. "Good morning. Couldn't wait?" 

She shook her head. "I can never wait for that good dirty bean juice." 

He laughed and went to order a coffee for himself. He waited, and then picked up both of the coffees, bringing them to the table. 

He slid the coffee across to her, and took a sip of his own. 

"So, Andrew." She took a sip, warming her hands on the sides of her cup. "You don't sound like a New Yorker when you talk." 

He chuckled. "I don't think I have an accent." 

"It's not so much your accent as it is the speed you speak." 

"Ah." He paused. "I'm from Montana." 

"Montana…" she repeated. "Is it very different?" 

He chuckled. "Than New York City?" 

She nodded. 

"Worlds different. But the biggest difference in my opinion is the weather." 

"What's the weather like in Montana?" She asked. 

"Well, it's crisper." He said, taking a drink. "Typically at this time, late November, it's colder. Too cold for a light jacket, definitely." 

She hummed. "I've lived in New York all my life." She said. "My family lives in Queens, but I'm in Brooklyn for school." 

He nodded. 

"So what's your major?" She asked after a short period of silence. 

"Oh, I'm going for graphic design and illustration." He said. "I'd love to find some jobs illustrating childrens' books, but so far no bites." 

She hummed. "Yeah, I've heard it's really difficult to break into that." 

He nodded. "And you? What are you majoring in?" 

She hummed. "Art therapy." She smiled. "I'd love to work with geriatrics. They're a very overlooked demographic." 

He smiled. "Does art therapy usually work with contemporary art?" 

"You'd be surprised." She leaned back. "Contemporary art holds a lot more emotion than classical art, in my opinion." 

"Oh, I'm not arguing that. But what can you read in someone's art when it's just shapes and colors?" 

She chuckled. "A whole lot. And besides, it's not all about reading people. It's about giving them an outlet. A catharsis." 

He smiled, and let her chat about art therapy for a while. She was sweet. He didn't mind sitting with her for as long as she wanted, which turned out to be longer than he had expected. 

They parted ways around eleven thirty, and they decided they would spend some time together the next time they were both open. He would be working the entire saturday the next week, so they settled on the following weekend, though they didn't know what they would be doing yet.

\--

The next week, Andrew got a notification on his social media about a nearby comedy club having an event the day he and Alice were slated to meet again. 

He texted her the link on his way to class, and received a response a few hours later. 

He was feeling a bit giddy about it all. This was all quite new to him, and Alice was a sweet young woman. He could definitely get used to spending time with her.

When that Saturday evening rolled around, he changed into something a bit more date-worthy, and headed out to meet Alice. 

On his way, his phone rang. He glanced down at the screen and smiled, picking up. 

"Hey, Mom." He greeted. "What's up?" 

"Andrew!" The smile was evident in her voice. "How's New York treating you?" She asked. "Are you settled?" 

He laughed. "Yeah, Mom, I've been settled since the second week after I got here." 

"Well, either way, your Dad and I can't wait for you to come back for winter break. Have you talked to Alecia?" 

His sister was overseas, working as an ESL teacher in Columbia. 

"Not for a couple of weeks." 

They chatted for a bit as he walked, and he told her he was nearing his destination. 

"Alright, Honey. I'll let you go. I just wanted to let you know that you got a letter. Do you know a Freddy?" 

He thought for a few moments. "Not anyone that comes to mind." He admitted, and then remembered something. "Oh, yeah. I don't know his name, but I _am_ expecting something. Leave it in my room, on the desk please." 

"Mmm. Okay." 

They chatted for a bit more, and then said their goodbyes when Andrew reached the front of Alice'a apartment building. "I'll talk to you later, Mom." 

"Yeah, I love you." 

He smiled. "Love you too." He hung up then, and texted Alice that he was outside. 

As he waited, he thought back to his visit with Charlie. He'd said his cellmate wanted to send something. Well, it seemed he'd gotten out and sent it. He wondered what it was until Alice came out, and the two of them headed to the comedy club together. 


	37. Chapter Thirty-Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew goes home for winter break.

It took a few weeks until Andrew and Alice met up again, and they wound up getting some takeout at a chinese place she was familiar with. They ordered food and drove about a half hour out of their way to the Coney Island boardwalk. The air from the water was chilly, so they ate their food in the warmth of the car before walking up and down the boardwalk. They watched the sunset, just chatting easily, and then walked back to the car. 

When he returned home, Andrew went straight to his room to pack up for his trip home for winter break. He would be home for Christmas, though Alecia wouldn't be able to return until summertime, when her job was completed. 

The same day that classes finished for the semester, Andrew said goodbye to Sonya and went to the airport. It was tight, but he would get home just in time to take a nap and be there for Christmas dinner. His family wasn't religious in the slightest. The only time he'd been to church was his brief stint in the cub scouts. Despite their agnosticism, his family kept to the comfortable dinner together and gift giving traditions. His parents hadn't wanted them to feel left out when all of their peers were receiving gifts, and the tradition stuck. 

When he landed in Butte, at the small Bery Mooney airport just fifteen minutes south of his family home, he was exhausted. 

He grabbed his suitcase from the carousel, and met his father outside. 

"Well, look who it is." His father's eyes were bright as he pulled his son into a hug. 

Andrew chuckled and hugged him back. "You're acting like I've been gone for years, Dad." He teased, tossing his suitcase in the back of the truck. 

"It feels like it was." His father said pointedly, climbing into the driver's side and pulling out of the spot after Andrew buckled in. "Mom missed you a lot." He said. "Our boy is all grown and in the big city." 

Andrew groaned and rolled his eyes at that, though he smiled. It was good to be home. 

\--

He greeted his mother with a kiss on her cheek, and she ushered him into his old bedroom. 

"You look absolutely exhausted." She said, cupping his cheeks. "Have a good lie down until dinner, hm?" She smiled. "It's good to have you home." 

He smiled. "It's good to _be_ home." He murmured. 

If he was to be perfectly honest with her, though, he didn't miss it too much. He had been happy to move out of his hometown. He had a few rough memories, and wanted them behind him. He didn't bring that up with his mother, however, and quickly unpacked his things before lying down in bed and passing out until he was called for dinner. 

His parents had pulled together quite the spread, he discovered, and by the time dinner was finished, he was well and truly stuffed. 

He leaned back in his seat, groaning. "Oh god, I couldn't fit another bite." 

He rescinded his statement, though, when his mother cut him a slice of peach cobbler and scooped some vanilla ice cream on top. 

When his dessert plate was scraped clean, he helped his parents clear the table and wash the dishes before retiring to his room. 

He changed into his pajamas, and then noticed a small envelope on his desk. 

Too tired from his trip and almost in a food coma from dinner, he made a mental note to open it and see what was inside when he woke in the morning. 

\--

When morning came, he grabbed the gifts he'd gotten for his parents and brought them into the kitchen, setting them on the table before making a pot of coffee. 

He was awake well before his parents, despite it being christmas morning. He was stuck on New York time. 

He cut a piece of the peach cobbler and set it in the microwave for thirty seconds, making a cozy treat to go along with his coffee. 

He brought his coffee and cobbler into the living room, turning on the TV as he slowly woke up with the caffeine. 

When he finished his coffee, he set his mug in the sink and went back to his room. He noticed the envelope again, and picked it up. 

There seemed to be something heavy inside, besides for a letter. 

He opened the envelope, and turned it over. 

A small bronze key spilled out into his hand. 

Curious, he pulled out the paper and read the attached letter. 

'Andrew;

Your friend Charlie tasked me with recovering this key for you. It took a little bit of work, but here it is. 

He said that this key would open a storage container under the name Silas Langdon. He didn't say what was inside, but he thought you would be interested in checking it out, and wanted the ownership to be passed to you. He said not to worry about payments, as he paid for 30 years of storage in advance, in case he was jailed, and I guess it was a good plan. 

Good luck to you,

Fred Reynolds.'

\--

Once his parents had woken up, they exchanged gifts. His mother gave him a new set of paints, and his father gave him a gift card to buy some new video games, a pastime he enjoyed when he wasn't working in the coffee shop or working on schoolwork. 

He had brought his mother back a cashmere scarf, and a subscription to a coffee-from-around-the-world program for his father. 

They spent some time together, just enjoying each others' company, before Andrew pulled on his coat and left to go to check out the storage container that he supposed was now his. 

When he arrived, all he needed to do was show the security guard his key, and he was directed to the box under the name he provided. 

He unlocked the padlock, and pulled the door open. 

It was dark as night in there, as there were no windows, so he pulled out his phone and turned on the flashlight. 

The container was mostly empty, containing a few spare boxes, but in the center, on a small foldable table, was a binder. 


	38. Chapter Thirty-Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew finishes up his winter break and meets up with Alice again.

Andrew's pulse raced as he locked the storage container door behind him. 

He had spent the better part of an hour flipping through the pages, reading about the horrible crimes committed by the people contained in the binders. 

The first six pages had gruesome pictures inserted in the sheet protectors along with the information, and Andrew was able to extrapolate what it all was.

The first six were the people Charlie had killed. The rest were his remaining targets. 

He knew that the binder was what Charlie had meant for him to find, not the boxes with random contents. He didn't know _why,_ though. What did Charlie expect from him? 

He knew he couldn't ask straight out. While his previous visit hadn't been explicitly recorded, he didn't know who would be listening in on their conversation. He needed to figure this out on his own. 

\-- 

He and his parents had dinner together that night, though it was a simple dinner of leftovers rather than the large spread of the night before. 

He pulled out his phone to show his parents some of the work he'd created since he'd left to New York, and they all chatted about the things that had happened in the few months he'd been gone. 

When he got to his room, he sat down to pen a letter to Charlie. 

'Happy holidays! 

I hope you enjoy this care package. 

It was wonderful to finally meet you before I left for school in New York, and I apologize for not writing while I was there. 

School has been good, classes have been interesting. 

I've been dating this girl for about a month, and we've been texting back and forth. She's sweet, but I don't know… I guess I should give it time. I enjoy spending time with her, and I guess that's what it's all about, right? 

I'll try to send you some letters from New York in the future, so keep your eyes peeled. 

Be well,

Andrew'

\--

He selected a gift for Charlie online, and paid for the package, typing out the letter to go along with it. 

He hoped it would get to him before New Years, but nothing was certain. 

Once he finished with that, he closed his laptop and started sketching. His mind kept going back to that binder, though, and back to his time in cub scouts. 

Nathan… Nathan was long dead, but sometimes the man haunted his dreams. He spoke them through with his therapist when they came up, though in all honesty he missed his therapist from Butte compared to the one he had in New York. Perhaps he ought to find a new one. 

He sighed and set down his pencil, examining his work. It was a three panel comic, containing two people conversing about the futility of trying to fit in. 

He sighed and crumpled up the paper, tossing it in the small garbage can under the desk. 

\--

When time came for him to head back to New York, both of his parents joined him for the trip back to the airport. 

He hugged them goodbye, and got a kiss on the cheek from his mother. 

He promised to call, and then left them behind as he entered the building. 

The flight and stopovers were long, but he listened to some music and watched some TV that was provided on the seatback in front of him. 

When he landed in New York, he took a taxi to Brooklyn. He entered the empty apartment - Sonya was off working - and set his suitcase in his room before heading to the kitchen to make himself an early dinner. 

He stared at the contents of the fridge before settling on some instant ramen, and sat down with a book as he ate. 

He texted Alice, asking how her holiday had been, but he didn't receive a response. 

In a way, he felt lonely, coming home to an empty apartment after spending more than a week in the house with his parents. There was a bit of homesickness too, but he knew that would fade. 

He tossed his empty bowl in the garbage, and sat down to play some video games as he waited for Sonya to come home. 

\--

When she returned home from work, she greeted him with a warm smile. "Missed you." She said, kicking off her boots. 

He smiled, pausing his game. "Missed you too, mon cheri." 

She grinned at the nickname, and grabbed an orange from the fridge, joining him on the sofa. "How was Butte?" She asked. 

"It was nice." He answered. "Much quieter than New York." 

She nodded, pulling her hair out of her ponytail and shaking it out. "Did you miss the noise?" 

He chuckled. "I suppose I did." 

She smiled. "You're becoming a New Yorker." 

"New Yawkeh." He teased her. 

"Oh, shut up." 

\--

The next day, Alice texted him back, and they had a brief conversation about their holidays. 

He felt like this relationship wouldn't last too long. It didn't have essence to it. He enjoyed her presence and liked her, but it just… didn't have much to it. 

Besides for that, he didn't seem to have attraction to her. 

He mused over that in the waiting room for his therapist. Was he perhaps broken because of what happened in his childhood? Would he be unable to have sex? Have a fulfilling relationship? 

When his therapist opened the door and beckoned him in, he stood up and entered the room. 

He sat down on the now-familiar sofa, and talked about his time in Butte. 

She asked all of the right questions about the memories it might have brought up, going back to the place where he'd been abused, and Andrew answered them all truthfully, though he didn't mention the binder. He knew that she was bound by law not to mention anything to anyone unless he was in danger or a danger to others, but he felt that the binder was best kept a secret. 

When their appointment was over, they scheduled the next one the following week, and he left, feeling a bit better about everything. 

\--

He met up with Alice over coffee again, and this time he was there before her. 

He was doodling a comic strip, containing three panels of just one zombie complaining about the taste of different brains. He was inspired by Sweeney Todd's song 'A Little Priest'. 

When she came into the shop, she greeted him with a soft smile and sat down opposite him, taking the coffee he'd already bought for her. 

"What do you have there?" She asked, tugging the paper away from him. 

He shrugged. "Just some stupidity." 

She hummed. "Do you often draw comics?" 

He shrugged. "When I'm bored, I guess, yeah." 

She slid the paper back to him. "Have you ever thought of making a webcomic?" She asked, taking a sip from her coffee. 

He hummed. "Not really…" 

She smiled. "I think you could do it. You just need a good plot." 

"I don't know…" he murmured. 

"Oh, come on. You love comic books, don't you?" 

He took a sip from his drink and nodded. "I suppose, yeah." 

She smiled and shrugged. "It's just logical that you do something related to that. Webcomics can be lucrative, too." She pointed out. "You can sell merchandise or have patreon, or shit like that." 

He hummed. "Yeah. Yeah, I can do that." He smiled. "I'll think about that." 


	39. Chapter Thirty-Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew deals with a breakup and some sexuality questions.

They had been officially dating for two months before Alice brought up the elephant in the room. 

They were sitting on the sofa in her apartment, and she turned to him. "Hey, Andrew…" 

"Mm?" He asked, glancing at her before turning back to the movie they were watching. 

"Can I ask you something?" Her voice was soft. 

He furrowed his brow and reached for the remote to pause the movie. "What's up?" He asked. 

She chewed her bottom lip for a moment. "I mean…" She paused, collecting her thoughts. "Okay. So, here's the thing. We've been dating for a while now. It's been a fair number of weeks, and we've never done more than quick kisses. I've never gotten anything more than a peck from you." She paused. "Are you gay?" 

"I… what?" He asked, utterly confused. 

"I mean, my roommate is gone for the week. I would have expected…" 

He shifted uncomfortably. "Alice, I'm not gay." 

She fixed him with a look. "Then why haven't you ever _properly_ kissed me?" 

He didn't have an answer for that, so he kept silent. 

"Listen…" she played with the edge of the pillow on her lap. "I like you a lot. I enjoy spending time with you, but… there's nothing else. It feels like we're just friends." She stopped for a moment. "I don't mind that, but if that's the case, I'd like… well, I'd like to date someone who will actually _kiss_ me. And more." She fixed him with a look. "Can you give me that?" 

Andrew cleared his throat. "Alice, I don't… I don't know what to tell you." 

"Just tell me how you feel. Are you attracted to me?" She asked pointedly. 

Andrew swallowed. "I don't know." He admitted. "You're the first girlfriend I've had. I don't know how any of this works." 

She smiled sadly. "You should, though. It should just happen. I have that feeling for you." 

He shifted uncomfortably. "What feeling?" 

She huffed. "Attraction. Arousal. I don't know…" she shrugged. "The want for more than just hanging out and playing video games." 

Andrew played with the remote absently. "I don't know what to say, Alice." He admitted. "I don't. I like you. A lot. But I don't really…" 

"You're not attracted to me." She said flatly. "That's fine. If you're gay, you're gay. That's okay. But I don't particularly want…" 

"You don't want to date me anymore." He finished for her. 

"That's not…" she stopped. "I mean. I guess not." She said flatly. 

Andrew set down the remote, feeling tightness in his chest. "Right." He said, standing up. "I'm going out for some air." He motioned at the TV. "You can finish it without me." He grabbed his coat and left. 

It wasn't an utter shock. He knew it would end sometime, after all. But to hear the words from her mouth… and the supposition that felt more like an accusation than anything… it stung. 

He walked to his apartment building, and kept walking, needing to clear his head. 

He sat down on a bench under a bus stop overhang, and pulled out his phone. 

'Hey.' 

He texted Sonya. 

'How did you know you were gay?' He asked. 'I mean, how did you know you liked women?' 

There was no answer. 

He waited a good twenty minutes before standing up and heading home. 

\--

He lay in his bed, gazing at the ceiling. 

He'd gotten home an hour earlier, and though he was hungry, he didn't feel like making food. He was thinking too hard. 

Was she right? Was he gay? He didn't know. He didn't know what gay _felt_ like. 

He groaned and sat up, grabbing his drawing tablet and starting to work on that week's comic to be uploaded to his website, if only to take his mind off of it. 

After about twenty minutes of working, he heard the front door open and shut. 

He worked for a while longer, and when the rough draft was finished, he stepped out of his room. 

He found Sonya sitting at the table, her tip jar open and empty. 

She glanced up from the pile of bills and smiled at him. "Had fun?" She asked. 

He sighed and sat down opposite her. "Not really." He said. "I think we broke up." 

She stared at him. "What? Why?" 

He huffed. "She thinks I'm gay because I won't have sex with her." 

"Well, I mean…" she trailed off. "Are you?" Her voice was gently. 

"I don't know!" He snapped, and then took a shaky breath. "I don't know. How did you know you were gay?" 

She shrugged. "I just did. I liked girls. They're cute, and they're just plain so damn pretty." 

Andrew pinched the bridge of his nose. "Sonya… am I broken?" He asked. "Did he break me?" He didn't need to say Nathan's name. She knew the whole story. 

"Oh, Andrew…" she looked at him with soft eyes. "You're not broken. You're you. You can just… not want sex. And that's okay." She said. "A lot of people get by without sex. There are people who just don't have that attraction. I have a friend, Cindy. She's asexual. She doesn't like sex in that way, and she's fine with it. That can just be your deal. Nothing to do with… with _him_." 

Andrew swallowed. "Asexual?" 

She nodded. "It just means that you don't experience sexual attraction. It doesn't need to come from trauma. It just… could be your sexuality." 

"Or lack thereof." He said flatly. 

"Andrew…" she said, her voice gentle. "Be easy on yourself. You're dealing with a new breakup. Table this for now, alright?" 

He nodded after a few moments. "Fine." 

"Here." She slid some bills over to him. "Help me add up where I am in the facial feminization fund." She smiled. "Get your mind off of it all." 

He nodded, and helped her count up how much money she had saved since she'd started her job waiting tables as she trained in cosmetology school. 

When they finished, she jotted down the total in her notebook, and put the bills in an envelope, and the coins in a bag. 

"Come on." She said. "Brain numbing reality TV." She took his hand and tugged him up. "You deserve it." 

Andrew smiled at her. "Thank you." 


	40. Chapter Forty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonya saves up enough money for her facial feminization surgery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience in waiting for this chapter to go up! I was stuck on trying to figure out how to jump the two years until 2014, when the answer was literally sitting right in front of my nose.

"Alright." Sonya pulled the now heavy jar over and carried it to the table. She'd moved on from the waitress job since she had received her cosmetology license, and was now working as a makeup artist for the last year. The tips were significantly larger, never mind the paycheck itself. She now worked in a salon/spa, and her day was far less frazzled than they had been when going to school and juggling a job on the side. 

Andrew watched her with a smile, and took some of the money to count it up. 

She was nearly at her goal of twenty-five thousand dollars, having saved up all of her tips since she'd graduated high school. 

He separated the bills into piles of denominations, and then started counting. 

Since he'd dated Alice over a year earlier, he'd stayed single, trying to figure himself out. A lot of that was happening in his therapist's office, but a fair amount was talked through with his best friend. She was a good listener, and she knew all of these things about the LGBT+ world that he didn't even know existed. 

He was nearing graduation, and while his webcomic had taken off, he still didn't have any serious leads on book illustration jobs. 

He finished counting his piles and tugged the notebook over to write down his numbers. She was definitely close now. 

\--

His parents flew into New York to celebrate his graduation, and they went to Wicked on Broadway to celebrate. 

When he got home after the show, he was greeted by Sonya with a large grin on her face, holding a cake. It was frosted, but… not well. She was better at decorating faces than she was at decorating cakes, which Andrew told her. She scowled playfully and mocked throwing the cake in his face. 

They stayed up late that night, celebrating in their own way, starting a marathon of the Lord of the Rings movies while they enjoyed Sonya's baking. The outside looked like a mess, but the cake itself was delicious. 

\--

As he hadn't found an official illustration job yet, Andrew started a few business ventures. He started selling commissions on DeviantArt, and selling finished works on Etsy, all while continuing to work his early morning shift at Starbucks. He was now a shift supervisor, rather than just a barista, and while it was boring at times, he enjoyed his coworkers and some regular customers. 

He walked into the apartment one day to find Sonya sitting on the sofa with her laptop. 

"What are you doing, mon cheri?" He asked, mocking up a French accent as he walked over to peek over her shoulder. 

She was staring at a page on Healthgrades. "I'm trying to figure out if I want this guy to be my surgeon." She murmured. 

Andrew hummed. "Well, what do the reviews look like?" 

"Well, to summarize, they're mostly good. And the negative reviews are more about his office staff rather than him himself." 

Andrew nodded and pulled off his coat, hanging it up in the closet. "Well, what's holding you back from making the appointment?" 

She sighed. "I dunno. I guess I'm scared? Of possible complications." 

He sat down next to her and looked at her seriously. "If I had a dollar for every time you expressed to me how much you want to change… and a hundred for how many times I've caught you crying over it… I'd be able to pay for your surgery myself." 

She nodded, swallowing. "I know. I do. It's just… it's my face. It's the only one I've got." 

Andrew smiled softly. "Give yourself overnight, hm?" 

\--

It was a month before Andrew's birthday when Sonya went in for the procedure. 

Andrew sat in the waiting room next to Sonya's mother as they waited for her to be brought out. Mrs. Demsky fiddled with her bag nervously the entire time, until the surgeon came out to tell them that the procedure was completed and she was in the recovery room. He gave them basic care instructions, and then left as a nurse came over to lead them to the recovery room. 

Her face was covered in bandages, but she looked like she was sleeping peacefully. 

Once she woke up, they kept her for a couple of hours for observation, and then released her after giving her the full care instructions. 

Mrs. Demsky took Sonya's hand and pecked a kiss to it, bidding her goodbye before leaving. She was going home with Andrew, after all. 

He led her to the car, and brought her home. She needed two weeks of good rest. 

\--

The bandages were long gone, and the bruising had faded. Sonya now smiled at herself in the mirror, rather than looking away the instant she saw herself. 

Andrew was sitting at the kitchen table eating a sandwich for dinner, when he heard Sonya call from her room. "Hey, dunce, you forgot to remind me about your birthday!" She came out, smiling. "The big twenty-one! What do you want to do?" 

Andrew shrugged. "I dunno." He said. "I'm not a big birthday person." 

She sat down next to him. "Oh, I know, but twenty-one is a big year. You get to _drink_ , Andrew." 

He chuckled. "Alright, alright. What do you want to do?" 

She grinned, her eyes glinting. "Okay, so there's this drag/comedy LGBT bar I've been _dying_ to check out, but I don't want to go alone." 

Andrew shifted a bit. "I don't know if I'll fit in there." 

She huffed. "You're asexual, Andrew, therefore you're not straight, therefore you're queer. Let's do some queer things _together_." 

He pursed his lips for a short while before finally nodding. "Alright." He agreed. "When will we go?" 

She smiled. "As soon as I'm dressed and my face is done." She stood up. "Probably an hour." 

He finished his sandwich, and then went to watch some Netflix while he waited for Sonya. 


	41. Chapter Forty-One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew and Sonya go out for birthday drinks, and Andrew gets someone's number.

Andrew let Sonya lead the way into the bar, feeling slightly out of place. He was a bit uncomfortable about his place there. He still wasn't sure about the asexual thing, and how that all fit under the LGBT+ umbrella. 

Sonya took his hand and tugged him over to the bar, smiling as they sat down on a couple of free stools. 

Andrew looked around the room. The place was practically packed to the brim, with a fairly large crowd around the small stage where it seemed a drag queen was lip synching to a Nicki Minaj song. He raised an eyebrow at that, and then looked back at Sonya. 

She chuckled. "Good, isn't it?" 

He cleared his throat. "It's noisy." 

She laughed and shoved his shoulder. "Shut up and order a drink." 

Andrew reached into his pocket for his ID and then stopped. "I dunno what to order." 

Sonya rolled her eyes. "Get a screwdriver. I like 'em." 

He nodded, and then lifted his hand to try and get the bartender's attention. 

The man nodded to aknowlege his movement, and came over to their spot after helping the customer before them. 

"Hi." Andrew said simply. "I… um… can I please have a screwdriver?" He held his ID out to the bartender. In a strange way, he reminded Andrew of an Artemisia Gentileschi painting, which flustered him a bit. 

The man took his ID. "Sure thing, Andrew. Is this your first time? Seeing as your birthday was last week."

Andrew nodded. "Yeah." 

The man smiled. "Well then, this one's on me." He made up Andrew's drink, and then slid it over to him after placing it down on a paper coaster. "Enjoy." He winked, and then turned to Sonya to get her order. 

Andrew took a tentative sip of his drink. It wasn't that bad, he supposed. It had a nice kick. 

Once Sonya got her drink, they both turned to watch the performance. 

Andrew looked down and realized his drink was more than half gone. It was better than he expected. He took another sip before turning to wave at the bartender again. 

The man walked over. "What's up?" 

Andrew lifted his glass. "Can I have another?" 

The bartender lifted his eyebrow. "This is your first time. You should pace yourself." 

Andrew nodded. "Okay. Just one more." 

The bartender tilted his head. "You sure?" 

Andrew nodded. "Positive." 

The man leaned over the bar, closer to Andrew. In the dim light of the bar, and with the slightly floaty feeling that was setting in, Andrew thought he might just be the most handsome man he'd ever set eyes on. "I'd suggest only finishing half of the next one." He said, just loud enough to be heard. "It's a lot stronger than you'd think." 

Andrew sighed and shrugged. "Yeah, alright." He smiled. "You're the expert." 

"That I am." 

He mixed up another drink for Andrew, and slid it over to him, handing him a second coaster. "For later." He winked. 

When the bartender walked off, Andrew glanced down at the coaster. In a script that looked hastily written, it had a phone number and the bartender's name, which apparently was Matt. 

Andrew grinned and showed the coaster to Sonya. 

She laughed so hard she had to lean back. "Oh God, you're amazing." She gasped. "You need to text him when we get home." 

Andrew tucked the coaster in his pocket. "Why did he give it to me, though? I mean I get it, it's a gay bar, and he thinks I'm gay, but why me?" 

Sonya's eyes were bright. "You idiot. You're cute, you're handsome, youre absolutely awdorkable. Why _not_?" 

Andrew flushed and finished his first drink. "Am I gay, though?" 

Sonya shrugged. "Why does everything need a label? Give him a text and just go from there?" 

Andrew nodded. "Alright. When we get home." 

\--

When they got home, Andrew was well past tipsy. He had finished two thirds of his second drink, and his lips were tingly, nevermind how things seemed to be moving into his way to trip him. He fumbled with his key and let himself and Sonya into the apartment. 

"I'm going to shower." Sonya said, toeing off her shoes, and then pointed at him drunkenly. " _Don't_ text him until you're sober." 

Andrew huffed and walked over to the sofa, falling back into it. "Yeah, yeah." 

" _Don't_." She repeated, heading to the bathroom. 

As though she hadn't said anything, Andrew pulled out his cellphone and the coaster. He keyed in Matt's number, and sent out a text with a simple mention that he was Andrew from the bar earlier that night. 

There was no response until one in the morning, and Andrew was sound asleep. 

When he woke up to his alarm at four-thirty, he groaned. Ah. This was what a hangover was. 

His mouth was dry as sand, and he heard the thump-thump of his pulse in his ears. His head ached a bit, too. 

He sat up and slipped out of bed, grabbing his phone from the bedside table before stumbling to the bathroom. He brushed his teeth, and then gave himself a once-over in the mirror. Well, he enjoyed the evening before, despite this aftermath. He didn't think he would do it again for a while, though. 

He glanced down at his phone as he went to the kitchen to make a coffee, and his heart skipped a beat as he saw a waiting text from Matt. He'd sent the text while drunk. 

He started the coffee machine, and then opened the message. 

'Hey, Andrew. I didn't think you'd actually text me, but I'm glad you did. What are you up to today?' 

Andrew swallowed, staring down at the message. Matt was older by a few years, and ridiculously handsome. And the question of whether or not he was gay still remained… but then again, he had butterflies in his stomach at the thought of responding to Matt. He'd never had that with Alice, when he was with her. 

'Early morning shift at Starbucks… But later in the day I'm working on my own thing. I sell commissioned artwork online.'

He sent the text, and then poured his coffee into a travel mug, going to get dressed to head out for his shift. 


	42. Chapter Forty-Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew and Matt start getting close.

When Andrew finished his shift, he had a message waiting for him. 

'Soooo… would you like to join me in McCarren Park? I usually go out there to do some reading, but today I have the urge to get to know a certain guy named Andrew.'

Andrew smiled down at his phone and typed out a quick reply, asking when would be best. 

It was only a few moments before Matt responded, saying he was already there and reading. 

'I'll be there in twenty.' 

Andrew hailed down a passing cab. He sat in the back, wondering what he'd say when he got there. Matt was clearly interested in him, and to be honest, he was interested in Matt. He was unsure, though, because he didn't know if Matt would be interested in him if he knew… 

'I'm here. Where are you?' 

He looked around the park for Matt, unsure if he'd recognize him as he'd only seen him in the dim light of the bar. 

Matt responded within a few seconds. 

'Send me your email, I'll share location.' 

Andrew did, and then got a notification that Matt was sharing his location. He saw the little dot on his screen, and followed the paths until he saw Matt sitting on a bench, looking down at a book he was holding. 

Andrew's stomach flipped as he walked to the bench. "Matt?" 

The man looked up. "Well, fancy seeing you here." He grinned. "Come on, sit down." He closed his book. 

Andrew took off his cross-body bag where he held his sketching pad and pencils and sat down next to Matt. "What are you reading?" 

Matt glanced down at the book. "American Gods by Neil Gaiman." He said. "Have you read it?" 

Andrew grinned. The conversation was already off to a great start, and he had barely settled on the bench. "Oh, yeah." He said. "Is this your first time reading it?" 

Matt nodded. "It's quite good." He hummed, shifting the book in his hands. "Very captivating, and it doesn't seem like I'm _reading_ it as much as I'm  _watching_ the characters interact." 

Andrew nodded. "Yeah, it's probably my favorite Neil Gaiman book." 

They chatted for a while about the book, and then moved on to their other favorite books and authors. Andrew was surprised how much of an overlap in likes they had. 

After a while, Matt suggested they stroll around the park, and he and Andrew stood up, walking as they talked. 

\--

Andrew got home and went straight to work finishing the webcomic strip for that day, putting on the final touches and scanning the drawing into his computer, and then cleaning it up digitally before uploading it. 

He leaned back in his chair, thinking about his day. The time with Matt had passed effortlessly, and he wanted to do it again. In fact, he wanted to do it many times more. 

He went to the kitchen to prepare dinner, making enough that there would be food for Sonya by the time she got home. 

He sat down at the table as he waited for the food to cook, taking out his phone. 

He knew that Matt was on shift, and wouldn't be able to respond, but he sent him a link to purchase one of the books he'd told him about. 

He set his phone down and felt the butterflies in his stomach again. 

When the timer on his phone went off, he took the food out of the oven, taking a portion. 

He sat down at the table with a book of his own, reading as he ate. 

\--

They met multiple times in the following weeks, starting out in the park, where Andrew started sketching as they chatted, and then going to a matinee movie before Matt's shift started. 

They wanted to have a meal together, but Andrew got off shift at two, and Matt went on shift at six. 

Finally, after a month and a half, Matt got someone to cover his shift. They were going to meet in the restaurant, a nice small place with Italian fare. 

Andrew stood in front of the mirror, examining himself. He wanted to look put together, more so than the average outing. He had put on a crisp new purple shirt, and was worried he looked pretentious. 

He snapped a picture and sent it to Sonya. 

'First dinner date. Too much?' 

Sonya responded within ten minutes, telling him he was an idiot, and he looked fine. 

Andrew glanced at his watch to check the time, and then left to meet Matt in the restaurant. 

\--

They were up to dessert, and Andrew was comfortably full. He smiled at Matt across the table, feeling incredibly lucky. At this point, they were officially dating. They didn't have terms for each other, like boyfriends, but they were _together_. 

When the time came to pay the bill, Matt took it before Andrew could reach for it. 

"You pay next time." He winked, and slipped his card into the sleeve. 

Andrew flushed and nodded. He was amenable to that. 

"So." Matt leaned forward. "Do you want to come back to my place?" 

Andrew's stomach dropped. Of course it would come to this. He liked Matt. He truly did. But sex? That was still off the table. "I.." 

Matt's face softened. "It's alright if the answer is no, Andrew. There's no pressure from this side of the table." 

Andrew swallowed, playing with the napkin in front of him. "I." He paused, collecting his thoughts. "I'm asexual. I'm sorry, it's not that I don't like you…" 

Matt reached over the table and put his hand over Andrew's. "Relax." He said, his voice gentle. "That's absolutely alright. There's no expectation."

Andrew looked at him. "It's alright?" He had been sure Matt would end it as soon as he said that. 

Matt smiled. "Of course it's alright. Relationships are more than just sex." He said, just loud enough to be heard over the other restaurant patrons. "We can watch a movie. Or play some video games. Or cuddle on the couch. Whatever you're comfortable with." 

Andrew smiled tentatively. "Yeah. I'd like that. A lot." 

  
  



	43. Chapter Forty-Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew and Matt get even closer.

They went back to Matt's apartment, and true to what he said, he did absolutely nothing to pressure Andrew. Instead, they spent their time playing some Borderlands. 

When it got closer to midnight, Andrew leaned over and pecked a kiss to Matt's cheek. "Thank you." He murmured, drawing back. "I really appreciate that you just… accepted it." 

Matt smiled and took Andrew's hand, giving it a squeeze. "Would you stay the night next time?" He asked, his voice soft. 

Andrew nodded. "I'd like that." He smiled. 

Matt smiled back and then leaned over to return Andrew's gesture, kissing him on the cheek. "Pity you don't have anything to change into." He said. "I'd like you to stay tonight." 

Andrew chuckled. "I'd like to stay tonight too." He set down his controller. "But for now, I gotta head home. My shift starts in just six hours." 

Matt nodded, turning off the game. "Of course." He turned to look at Andrew properly. "I enjoyed tonight." He said softly. "I think I love you, Andrew." 

Andrew felt those butterflies again. "I… I think I love you too?" He said, his voice unsure. 

Matt chuckled. "You don't have to say it if you don't feel it." 

Andrew shook his head quickly. "No, I do. I really do. It's just all so new to me." 

Matt reached up to cup his face softly, brushing his thumb over Andrew's cheek. "That's alright." He murmured. "May I kiss you?" He asked. "Properly?" 

Andrew just nodded. 

Matt leaned forward and kissed him deeply on the lips, and then drew back, smiling. "Now. You gotta go home and get to bed." 

Andrew smiled and nodded, standing up, going to grab his light jacket. 

Matt walked him to the door, and they kissed again before Andrew stepped out and the door shut behind him. 

Andrew smiled the entire way home.

\--

They texted every day, when big or small things came up. 

Finally, one day just about three weeks after they first exchanged their tentative "I think I love you"s, Andrew was able to hand his shift off to a coworker halfway through. 

He had invited Matt over to his place for lunch, and so he rushed home to start preparing. 

He had cooked up some breaded eggplant the day before, and he quickly put together a couple of sandwiches before there was a knock at the door. 

His stomach felt like it was doing backflips. In fact, it even hurt a bit. He was nervous. Things were getting serious. They'd decided on calling each other "partners", which just felt right, more so than boyfriends. But he'd not talked about his past. If things were going to go further… he needed to break down that wall. 

He opened the door and smiled, letting Matt in. He leaned in to kiss him in a proper greeting. 

"Hungry?" He asked. 

"Starving." Matt responded. "I slept in, and decided to skip breakfast." 

Andrew led his partner to the table, which he'd set out the sandwiches. 

"Oh wow." Matt said, sitting down. "This looks amazing." 

Andrew smiled. "I hope it tastes as good as it looks." He said, picking up his sandwich and taking a bite. 

Matt took a bite as well, and hummed in appreciation. "Better than any restaurant. And that's not only because I know it was made by you." 

They chatted as they ate, and then Andrew cleared his throat as he picked at the crumbs on his plate, gathering up the leftover cheese and eggplant to finish up. "I… need to tell you something." 

"Mm?" Matt hummed, tilting his head. "What's up?" 

Andrew shifted a bit. "It's about something that happened a long while ago." He said. "Back in Montana." 

Matt looked confused, so Andrew continued. "Possibly why I'm asexual, even though I know it doesn't really work like that." 

Matt sat in silence, letting Andrew talk. 

"Well… when I was a kid, my parents sent me to cub scouts…" He wasn't looking at Matt as he spoke, opting instead to stare down at his empty plate. "I mean… you can guess what happened, giving their history." He paused. "The lawsuits they've had. We won ours." 

"Oh, Andrew…" Matt exhaled. "Andrew, I'm so sorry." He reached over the table to take Andrew's hand. "You didn't deserve that." His voice was gentle, just like his touch always was. "No one deserves that, but I know you. You especially." 

Andrew swallowed past the rock in his throat. "I'm sorry." 

Matt huffed. "Don't you _dare_ apologize." He said. "Why would you apologize? That's just…" he paused. "That's fucked up. You have nothing to apologize for. You were a victim. You did nothing." 

Andrew nodded. "I know. I know that. But I don't _feel_ it. Even now, thirteen years later." 

Matt brushed his thumb over the back of Andrew's hand. "You don't owe me anything. Not an apology, not sex, not an explanation of your history." He said. "But I appreciate the fact that you trusted me enough to tell me." 

Andrew gave a small smile at that. "Of course I trust you." He said. "You're my partner. I'd trust you with anything." 

Matt smiled back at him. "I still appreciate it." He said, squeezing his hand. 

Andrew squeezed back. "Now." He said, releasing his hold and standing up. "Let me clean up, and we'll walk over to Fort Greene. I want to show you my favorite place to sketch." 

\--

It was just under a month later when Matt brought up the idea of Andrew moving in with him. 

He wanted to jump on the opportunity right away, but Andrew decided it would be best if he spent the night a few times before they made that decision. 

The following week, Matt took another shift off, and they had dinner together again. After dinner, the two of them went back to his place. When it neared midnight, and the movie they were watching reached the end credits, they retreated to Matt's bedroom. Andrew changed into the pajamas he'd brought, brushed his teeth, and then paused, looking at himself in the mirror. He was doing this. He would be sharing a bed with someone. 

He walked out of the bathroom and smiled as he saw Matt sitting up against the headboard, scrolling on his phone. This was alright. It was Matt. He trusted him. He loved him. They loved each other. 

He climbed into bed next to his partner, lying down. 

Matt hummed and shut his phone, settling down next to Andrew. "Alright?" He asked. 

Andrew shifted closer to him and hummed. "Very alright." 


	44. Chapter Forty-Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew moves in with Matt and they adopt a puppy.

Andrew woke up the next morning to his alarm. He quickly scrambled for his phone to shut it before it would wake Matt. He silenced the alarm and then relaxed again. He had five minutes to relax before he had to leave. 

He felt Matt shift, snuggling closer to Andrew, and he realized that Matt had his arms around him. 

He looked at Matt's peaceful, sleeping face, and smiled softly, feeling that familiar flutter in his stomach. 

He lay for a few minutes before carefully extracting himself from Matt's arms to wash his face, brush his teeth, and get dressed. 

When he was dressed, he went to the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. He sat down at the table and tugged over the small pad and pen that were sitting nearby. 

'Thank you for last night. I hope you slept well. I definitely did. Love you, Andrew' 

He attached the note to the coffee machine, put on his shoes, and left for his shift. 

\--

He stayed over a handful more times before they decided he was finally moving in. 

It was early October when he started packing up. 

"I'm gonna miss you." Sonya said, standing in the doorway as Andrew folded his clothes into a cardboard box. 

He glanced over his shoulder at her. "I'm going to miss you too." He said softly. "But I'll come by. And you'll come over to us every so often." 

Sonya smiled. "Us." She repeated. "You guys are fucking adorable, you know that?" 

Andrew chuckled. "Yeah, I know." 

She took a drink from the glass she was holding. "You guys just need a dog, and you'll be the quintessential gay couple." 

Andrew snorted. "Matt actually brought up a dog last week, when we decided I was moving." 

Sonya laughed, actually throwing her head back. "Oh god, that's amazing." 

Andrew grabbed a pair of pants to fold. "Yeah." He smiled. "I never thought this would be me, you know?" 

She hummed, letting him speak. 

"I never thought I could be this happy. This content. But I love him, and he loves me." 

"You deserve it." She said. 

He smiled. "Yeah, I think I do." 

\--

When Andrew got to Matt's place - _their_ place - with the boxes the next day, the first thing they did was build the dresser they'd bought for his things. They lugged in the boxes, and he unpacked his things into the drawers and the hanging closet. 

They had a late lunch together before Matt had to leave for his shift. 

Andrew kissed him goodbye, and went to set up his computer and scanner, as well as his drawing table, so he could work on a couple of commissions he had lined up. 

He glanced at the clock after a while, and was amazed that it was already ten pm. He stood up, stretched, and went to get ready for bed. 

He stepped into the bedroom and hummed. It was going to be the first of many times he went to sleep without Matt. That was just how their shifts worked. But he was happy, as he said. Content. This all felt very _right_ on a visceral level. 

He lay down under the covers, and scrolled on his phone for a little while before he dozed off. 

He woke up when he felt Matt climb into bed next to him, and he shifted to turn to look at him. 

"Hi." He said, his voice rough with sleep. 

"Hi yourself." Matt responded. "Settled in?" 

"Mmm." He nodded. "All settled." 

Matt leaned in and kissed him quickly on the lips. "Get back to sleep, handsome." He smiled, brushing his hair back. "You gotta get up soon." 

"Mhmm." Andrew closed his eyes again, drifting off again almost as soon as he did.

\--

It was only two weeks later when they started visiting dog shelters in between their shifts, trying to find a dog that felt right for them. They wanted a rescue, a dog they could truly care for. Neither of them minded a high-maintenance dog, as their shifts made it so that there would always be someone home. 

After a short while of looking, they found a six month old female beagle who had a history of abuse. One of her rear legs was slightly misshapen due to having been broken and not set right. 

They brought Eve home, and when they opened her carrier, she refused to step out. 

Andrew carefully put a bowl of food and another of water right outside the opening, hoping that would coax her out. 

They left her alone, then, letting her get used to the idea of not being in the shelter any longer and being in the same general space as the two of them. 

When Matt left for his shift, Andrew sat down in front of the crate. 

"Hi there." He said, his voice soft. "I won't hurt you…" he said, putting his hand in the carrier so she could sniff it. 

She did, though she was still shaking slightly. 

"It's alright, Eve… I'm safe. I won't hurt you. I promise." 

After a short while, when he saw she was still shivering, he stood up. He returned a few moments later with one of the dog treats they had bought. "Here. You'll like this." He set the treat down near the entrance to the crate, though still inside. 

She shifted forward just a bit, sniffing at it. She then flicked out her tongue, tasting it curiously.

He smiled. "There you go." He said, and then stood up. "You're safe here." He murmured, and then went back to his drawing desk as he let her acclimate further. 

He saw her tentatively step out of the carrier after a while, and he turned to watch. She sniffed at the bowl of water, and then started lapping it up. 

Andrew stayed where he was, just watching her. This would be alright. Very alright. 

She stepped back into the carrier and curled up on the far end. 

Andrew hummed. They had their work cut out for them, but he was confident they would bring her out of her shell. 


	45. Chapter Forty-Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt goes to college.

It took some time for Eve to trust them, but once she did, she became the sweetest thing. She spent most of her mornings curled up in a ball next to Andrew as he sat by his drawing table, content to be near him. 

He and Matt had met just over seven months earlier, living together for three, and Andrew couldn't be happier. His work was going well. Besides for his commission work and webcomic, he'd also landed a few illustration jobs. Life was going smoothly. 

He heard the front door open as Matt came back from lunch with friends. 

"Hey." Matt said from behind him, putting his hands on Andrew's shoulders. "Can we talk for a minute?" 

Andrew glanced up at him and nodded. "Sure, give me a minute to just finish this bit." 

Matt nodded. "Sure. You didn't eat yet, did you?" 

Andrew shook his head. "No, I got too busy." 

Matt chuckled and went to the kitchen to prepare some food for his partner. 

Andrew wrapped up what he was drawing, and then stood up, stretching. 

He walked into the kitchen, Eve right behind him. "What's up?" He asked, sitting down at the table. 

"Well…" Matt slid the plate with a sandwich in front of Andrew and sat down opposite him. "You know how I've mentioned I want to pursue going to school for business?" 

Andrew nodded, taking a bite of his sandwich. 

"Well, I'd like to start applying." 

Andrew nodded, feeling like there was more that Matt wanted to say. 

"The thing is, though…" Matt continued. "My first pick is Stanford." He said, picking at a piece of the table that was indented. "Which means either we're going to move, or _I'm_ going to move." 

Andrew swallowed the bite he'd taken, the peanut butter sticking in his now dry mouth. "Oh." He said finally, after a bit of silence. "I… I like New York." He said. "I'm sure California is nice, but…" 

Matt sighed and nodded. "I know." He said softly. "I know it's a far cry from Butte, and you like it here." He smiled wryly. "I've thought about it a lot, though, and I really really _really_ want Stanford." 

Andrew nodded silently. 

"I'm probably not going to get in anyway." Matt said. "So it won't be an issue. But I want to apply." 

"You should." Andrew said. "And you're going to get in." He smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes. "We'll figure something out. When is the application deadline?" 

"Three weeks." Matt replied. 

"Well, I want you to apply. You want to go there, and you'll be happy there." He glanced down at Eve, who was now playing with one of her squeaky toys. "We'll figure it out." 

\--

Matt applied to multiple schools, not only Stanford. One day in the middle of March, he sat down to see if the application results were up. 

Andrew sat down next to him, taking Eve on his lap. "Breathe." He said softly. 

Matt nodded and opened the page, and they both waited for it to load. Once it did, Matt stared at it for a few moments before turning to Andrew. "I got in." His voice was quiet. 

Andrew smiled widely and shoved his shoulder. "Maybe sound a bit more excited?" He said. "This was your first pick. Take a shift off and we can celebrate." 

Matt smiled, apparently unsure. 

"Oh, come on, Matt…" Andrew huffed. "Be a _little bit_ happy." 

Matt closed his laptop. "You don't want to move, though." 

Andrew nodded, scratching Eve behind the ears. "I don't. But long-distance relationships are a thing. And we can do it. If anyone can do it, we can." 

Matt sat in silence for a bit and then nodded. "We can." He repeated. "Yeah." 

\--

They had five more months together before Matt had to leave, and they milked it for all they could. As it grew closer to August, they each took all of the days off they could, and went out of New York City for a bit of a vacation together. They rented a car and drove to the Hamptons, where they'd booked a hotel room. 

Finally, with Matt's suitcases packed in the back of the cab, they were off to the airport. 

Andrew sat against Matt, his eyes closed. Matt had his arm around Andrew's shoulders. 

Andrew sighed. "I'm going to miss you so much." 

"I'll miss you too." Matt said. "But we'll skype when we can, and text always." He murmured. "It won't be forever." 

Andrew nodded. "I know. It feels like it will be, though." 

Matt pressed a kiss to the top of Andrew's head. "I promise it's not forever. I'm coming back." 

\--

When Andrew got back to the apartment, he just stood in the doorway for a bit, looking around. The kitchen didn't look different at all, but at the same time, it felt so _empty_. He missed him already. 

He went to sit down on the sofa, and lifted Eve so she could sit on his lap. He pulled out his phone to text his partner. 

'I miss you.' 

The response came almost immediately. Apparently they hadn't taken off yet. 

'I miss you too. And Eve. I wonder if she'll remember me when I get back.' 

Andrew glanced down at the small dog. 

'She will. She's a smart one.' 

There was no answer. 

\--

They skyped every so often, but somehow it got harder and harder to talk. There were awkward silences, and they both seemed to be finding excuses not to get online. 

The texting became more sporadic as well. Andrew still missed him. Oh, he missed him terribly. But at the same time, he didn't feel the same way as he used to. The distance seemed to be taking its toll. 

Finally, after three weeks of not talking and only texting a handful of times, they sat down to skype. 

"Hey." Andrew smiled, his heart giving a lurch. "How's it going?" 

Matt smiled back. "It's going well. You know… studying, tests… the usual." 

Andrew nodded, and then glanced over at the dog, who was sniffing at his shoes near the door. "Eve says hi." 

Matt's picture froze for a moment, and half of what he said was cut off.

'-miss her." 

Andrew sighed. "You froze again." It happened more often than not, which interfered with their communication, and he felt that it was one of the reasons they were drifting apart. Because that was what was happening. They were drifting apart. 

"Matt…" he said finally, after a period of silence. "I think we need to talk about the elephant in the room." 

Matt was silent. 

"We're not what we were." Andrew said. "We're just not. I hate it." 

Matt nodded. "I know. So do I. I miss you. I miss _us_."

Andrew swallowed. "Yeah." 

They were both silent for a while. 

"Maybe we should… I don't know… take a break, maybe until I get back to New York." Matt said finally. 

Andrew felt his chest tighten. He didn't want this. He just wanted his partner back. But he nodded. "Yeah. Okay."

Matt sighed. "I wish I could hold you and say I'm sorry. Because this is on me. On my decision to come, even though…" 

Andrew shook his head. "It's just how life is, Matt. People drift apart. It's natural." 

Matt sat in silence for a bit. "Yeah." He said finally. "I guess you're right. It's just the natural process of things." 

They spoke for only about a minute more. Both of them had things to think about. 

He stood up and went to the bedroom they had shared when Matt had lived in New York, laying down and curling up. The part he hated the most was the fact that he had known it would happen. 


	46. Chapter Forty-Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew meets someone new

The weeks after he and Matt broke up, Andrew let the landlord he was moving at the end of December, only the next month. He packed his boxes and moved to a smaller apartment close to Sonya. She had found a new roommate while he'd been living with Matt, so that wasn't an option, but being nearby again was nice. 

He settled back into the daily routine of being without a partner, and was surprised to realize that he'd been doing that for the two months since Matt had been gone. 

When moving day came, he packed up a rented car and drove to his new place, Eve sitting on the passenger seat, secured by a pet seatbelt. 

He brought her into the new apartment first, and then unloaded the boxes. He grabbed some lunch from an eatery down the block, gave Eve her food, and started unpacking. 

This was progress. It was just how life was. Sometimes you have to move on from something good. 

It took a few days of unpacking, but finally the apartment was starting to feel like home. 

\--

He and Eve fell into a comfortable pattern. He woke up at five for his shift, gathered the sleepy dog, and brought her to Sonya's place. He let himself in, set some food in the bowl in the kitchen, and left her there. 

When Sonya woke up, she brought Eve to a doggy daycare, and Andrew would pick her up at two thirty, when he got off his shift. 

After that, they would go home and he would work on commissions, his webcomic, or any illustration job he might have. At six, he'd take her out for her walk, and then give her supper before taking his own, going back to work until he started yawning. 

One day in the middle of March, he decided to change up the monotony of things. Instead of going straight home after picking her up from daycare, he decided to take her to the beach. It was chilly out, so he made sure to wear a good jacket. 

He got out of the cab and set her down, holding her leash as she tried to run ahead. She'd never seen the beach before. 

When they stepped off of the boardwalk, Andrew leaned down to unbuckle her leash. Then, like a lightening bolt, she was off. She sniffed at all of the posts of the boardwalk, and then ran down closer to the water to dig in the sand. 

Andrew chuckled and pulled out the ball he'd brought, tossing it for her to fetch. 

They played for a little while, and then Andrew resecured her leash and went to sit on the boardwalk a bit, just watching the waves crash in and pull out. 

He wasn't holding Eve's leash tightly, and suddenly the fabric was yanked out of his hand. He quickly turned, trying to see where she'd gone, and saw her yipping at another, larger dog. 

The man who was holding that yippet's leash was pulling it tight. 

Andrew rushed over and grabbed her, picking her up. "God, I'm so sorry. I was spaced out and she got away from me." He breathed. 

"You're fine." The other man chuckled. "It's all good. What's their name?" 

Andrew glanced down at her. "Eve." He looked at the yippet. "And yours?" He asked. "I mean your dog's… but yours too, I guess. I'm Andrew." 

The man chuckled. "My name is Ian, and this here is Benji." 

Andrew smiled. "Sorry. Again. I don't usually let her run off like that." 

The man shook his head. "It's fine. He's fine." The dog was panting, looking up at Eve. The man paused and then smiled. "Though… if you'd like to make it up to me, I know of a nice little café just nearby." 

Andrew blinked and then nodded. "Sure. Yeah. What will we do with the dogs, though?" 

The man hummed. "There are places to tie them." 

Andrew smiled and nodded. "Alright. I can spring for a coffee and a treat." 

The man grinned back, and they started off to the café together. 

\--

The conversation with Ian had been remarkably easy, for a man he'd only met under an hour earlier, and they parted ways after exchanging numbers. 

Andrew felt a little bit guilty, if he was being honest. He knew that he and Matt were over, but he still felt like this was cheating. He thought of texting his ex-partner, but then thought the better of it. He didn't need to dredge up the past. 

The next week, he and Ian went out for drinks, and only three days later, they shared dinner in a small eatery. 

Slowly, the guilt he felt in the pit of his stomach ebbed, and he was able to fully enjoy his time with the other man. 

They went to a movie, and then another, and then Ian got cheap tickets to an off-Broadway show. 

Andrew dressed in something sharp, and he met Ian at the train station. They took the subway to Manhattan, and went in for the show. It turned out to be a bit too cerebral and trying too hard to be artsy, and they walked out. They strolled around Manhattan together, and grabbed a bite to eat. 

On the train on the way back to Brooklyn, Ian finally brought it up. 

"Why don't we go back to your place?" He asked, putting his hand on Andrew's knee. 

Andrew swallowed. "I…" he looked at Ian. "I don't mind you coming back, but I… I don't feel really comfortable with much more than just hanging out." 

Ian's face fell. "What do you mean?" 

Andrew chewed his lower lip and looked around the semi-full train. "Can we talk about it in private?" 

Ian nodded and took his hand off of Andrew's knee. "Fine." 

He was silent for the rest of the ride, but they got off of the train together. When they reached Andrew's apartment, he let them in, and greeted Eve as she came to the door, excited that they were back. 

"Wine?" He asked. 

Ian smiled. "Sure." He went to sit down on the sofa, where Eve joined him. 

Andrew took out a bottle, and poured out two glasses. He brought them over to the sofa and sat down next to Ian. He handed him the drink and took a sip of his own. Ian was looking at him expectantly and that made him feel even more nervous. 

"Well." He cleared his throat. "Here's the deal. It's not that I don't like you…" 

"But you don't like me." Ian cut him off, his voice flat. 

"No." Andrew said firmly. "Let me finish." 

Ian nodded, pressing his lips together. 

"It has nothing to do with you." Andrew started again. "It's all me. I want something with you, but I'm asexual. Which means…" 

Ian huffed. "It means you don't have sex." He said, his voice sounding a bit cold. "Yeah, I know." 

Andrew shifted uncomfortably. "Is that… okay?" 

Ian fixed him with a look, silent for a few moments. "I dunno." He said finally. "You're a sexy man. I want some of that." 

Andrew swallowed. "I'm sorry." 

"Yeah." Ian said. "Whatever." 

Andrew took a swallow from his drink, not sure what to say. 

Ian looked at him. "How do you _know_ you don't like sex?" He asked finally. "Have you tried it?" He asked. "Are you a virgin?" 

Andrew flushed. "I just know." He said. "I've not tried it, no." 

Ian huffed. "Then you don't know what you're missing." 

Andrew looked down at Eve, who was curled up between them. 

"Come on, Andrew…" Ian's voice was soft. "I'll show you what you're missing. You will never go back." 

Andrew shook his head. "I don't feel comfortable with it." 

Ian rolled his eyes. "This is bullshit. You're just saying you're asexual because you've never tried it. _Everyone_ is asexual until they've had sex for the first time." 

"I don't think that's how it works." 

Ian shifted closer and moved Eve off of the sofa. "Come on…" he said. "Don't be like this. You know you'll like it." 

Andrew swallowed, falling silent. 

Ian put his hand on Andrew's thigh, moving in to kiss him. 

Andrew kissed him back, unsure. He didn't want to lose Ian. He liked the man. A lot. 

Ian exhaled and moved his hand up Andrew's thigh. "You'll like it. I promise. Then you'll get over that "asexual" bullshit." 

Andrew pulled back and looked at him. "I…" 

Ian moved his hands to Andrew's crotch, undoing his belt. "I promise." 

Andrew was suddenly back with Nathan for a split second. That sick feeling in the back of his throat that he'd all but forgotten was back. 

He heard the sound of his own zipper being undone, and was brought back to the moment. "Ian…" he said, his voice barely above a whisper. 

"You'll like it." The other man reassured him again, putting his hand down Andrew's boxers. 


	47. Chapter Forty-Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian ignored boundaries.

Andrew zoned out through most of it. Ian moved them to the bedroom, where he stripped Andrew naked before he removed his own clothes. He grabbed some olive oil from the kitchen - Andrew didn't have lube - and returned to the bedroom. 

Andrew knew he was dissociating, seeing parts of this all play out from outside his body, but he didn't want to pull himself back. He just lay back and let it happen. Saying no hadn't helped. Besides, maybe Ian was right? Maybe he would enjoy it. 

Ian took care of the preparation, and Andrew couldn't help the moan that escaped his lips as a jolt of pleasure overtook his body for just a second. 

After that, Ian moved faster, clearly egged on by the moan. 

When he pushed in, Andrew had to swallow thickly to hold back the bile that was rising in his chest. There was pleasure, yes. But it was a physical pleasure. His mental state was not enjoyable in the slightest. 

Ian started moving inside him, and Andrew couldn't help the sounds he was making. He panted and moaned, grabbing for a hold on the covers beneath him. 

When Ian sped up, Andrew felt the pleasure intensify, and he shouted as he climaxed. 

Ian kept moving, though, rolling his hips in a repetitive motion as he tried to reach his own climax. 

Andrew panted beneath him, staring up at him. He was handsome. And usually good to him. He phased back out then, losing himself in his train of thought. 

He'd enjoyed it, as Ian had said. It was pleasurable, it was… euphoric in a way. As long as he ignored the sick feeling in his throat. 

When Ian finished with him, he pulled out and retrieved a towel from the bathroom, cleaning them both up. He then joined Andrew in the bed, tugging him close. 

"See?" He asked, playing with Andrew's hair. "You liked it." 

\--

After Ian left the apartment, Andrew went straight to the bathroom and stripped down again. He stared at his face in the mirror, and realized his hands were shaking. 

He turned the water as hot as he could take it, and stepped into the scalding stream. 

He'd enjoyed it, hadn't he? Ian was right. 

That thought kept running through his head, though the bile in his throat kept burning. 

He turned the water hotter when he got used to the temperature, and only stepped out when the water started cooling. 

\--

He sat in the booth, waiting for Sonya to join him in the pizza shop. She had taken the day off of her work in the salon, and was spending most of the day with her new boyfriend, but she'd made time to join him for lunch. 

He played with the napkin holder anxiously until she arrived and sat down opposite him. "Hey, you." She smiled. "Did you order?" 

He shook his head. "I was waiting for you." 

She glanced down at the menu and picked something out quickly. She told Andrew what she wanted, and he went to order. 

When he sat back down in the booth, he slid the napkin holder back to where it had been, and started fidgeting with his hands. 

Sonya frowned. "What's up with you?" She asked, her voice soft. 

Andrew looked at her. "I don't know. Maybe I'm not asexual." 

She furrowed her brow and tilted her head. "What makes you say that?"

Andrew swallowed. "Well, Ian and I…" 

Her eyes widened. "Really?" 

He nodded. 

"And…?" 

He shrugged. "I… I guess it was pleasurable." 

She smiled. "You know, just like gender, sexuality is fluid. It's also a spectrum. You can be demi." 

He nodded. He could be demisexual - someone who had attraction only to people he was emotionally close with - but he doubted it. He wasn't sexually attracted to Ian, but he had somewhat enjoyed the sex. The sensations. 

She smiled at him. "You're dwelling." She pointed out. 

He sighed and nodded. "Yeah. I need to think about it." 

\--

Andrew and Ian met for dinner two days later, and the sex didn't come up in the conversation at all. Andrew didn't know if he was glad or not. 

Ian joined Andrew as he walked Eve, and when they returned to the front of Andrew's building, he pulled him in for a deep kiss. "I love you, Andrew." He said. It was the first time he expressed the sentiment. 

Andrew smiled at him. He loved him too, he supposed. Maybe the sex was a fluke. Maybe now it was out of the way, and it was over and done with. 

They spent time with each other the next few weeks, going out to a movie and simply spending time in each others' apartments. 

Andrew brought Eve over to his place one afternoon, as he would be spending the night. 

They played some video games, and then retreated to bed. 

Andrew climbed into bed next to Ian after brushing his teeth, and the man tugged him close. 

They lay in silence for a good ten minutes before Ian shifted and reached down Andrew's pants. 

Andrew's eyes shot open and he stared up at Ian. The man's eyes were bright even in the dim of the bedroom. 

"Wh… what are you doing?" He asked. 

"Having some fun." Ian smiled, tugging down Andrew's pajama pants. 

Andrew knew better than to argue this time. He bit the inside of his cheek and closed his eyes as he felt Ian's long fingers wrap around him. 

Fuck. It wasn't a one time thing, then. 

\--

Andrew lasted longer than the previous time, holding out until only a few moments before his boyfriend climaxed. The man slipped off the bed and went to wash himself up. 

When the bathroom was clear, Andrew went in and locked the door. 

He cleaned himself up with shaking hands, and then sat down on the closed toilet. 

What was he doing wrong? Why was Ian behaving this way? Why was he so kind one minute, and so cruel the next? And why did he remind him so much of Nathan?


	48. Chapter Forty-Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew flies back to Butte.

When August rolled around, Andrew flew back to Montana on a redeye for his parents' twenty-fifth anniversary. Ian took him to the airport, and they kissed deeply before they parted ways. 

Andrew knew he loved him. He clearly did, no matter what happened at night between them. It had happened four times so far, and each time, Andrew just lay back and let it happen. More than feeling angry at Ian, he felt disgusted with himself and his inability to assert himself. 

Each time, when Ian held him close before they both drifted off, he told him he loved him. Andrew knew it. He felt it. But at the same time he felt a wall building between them and he didn't know how to tear it down. 

When the plane landed, Andrew got a cab and rode to his parents house. 

His mother was in school and his father was off in the small warehouse where he'd moved his business. 

His mother had left some cake on the counter for him. He took a slice with a decaf coffee, and then went to his old room to pass out. 

He woke up a few hours later, feeling too large for his skin. He texted Ian that he got to Butte safely, and went to shower to try and get rid of the feeling. 

While he was in the shower, a thought struck him. He got out and put on fresh clothes before heading out. 

He took the car - his mother had taken public transportation that morning so he could get around if he needed to - and drove to the storage facility. 

When he got to the correct storage unit, he pulled out the key, unlocked it, and stepped in. He turned on the flashlight on his phone and closed the gate behind him. 

He exhaled shakily and went to the table with the binder. He flipped the cover open and stared down at the first page. He read everything Charlie had written down about his target, and then read it again. He turned the page, and then the next, repeating the process with each of the thirty targets. His blood was boiling, but he kept reading. All of these people had hurt so many children. Innocent children, like he had been.

He flipped through the pages again and realized Nathan wasn't in the book. Of course, Nathan hadn't gone to court, which was how Charlie had found his targets. 

A thought shot through his mind, then, like a bolt of lightening. 'Where would _I_ find targets?' 

He slammed the binder shut, his hands shaking. Where had that thought come from? And why was he not shutting that train of thought down? 

\--

He drove around town for a while, trying to clear his head. He didn't know where the thought had come from, nor did he particularly want to follow it down the rabbit hole, but here he was, considering avenues he could use to find pedophiles, and how he could bring them to justice. 

After about an hour and a half of driving, he wound his way back to his parents' house. 

He let himself in and made himself a sandwich for lunch. 

He didn't want to follow through with the thoughts going through his head. After all, he had everything to live for, didn't he? He had a boyfriend who loved him, a dog he cared for, and a job he enjoyed. He didn't want to risk getting locked up like Charlie had. 

He went into the living room to watch some trash tv. 

\--

When his father came home and changed out of his work clothes, Andrew attempted to start dinner. His father made him sit down, though, and pulled together some chicken and a salad. 

"When's Alecia getting here?" Andrew asked, pouring himself a glass of juice. 

"Tomorrow night." His father responded. "She's driving instead of flying, and doing the full nine hours in one day." He huffed. "I offered to buy her a ticket, you know. It's only a hundred bucks from Seattle, but she wanted to be _independant_." 

Andrew chuckled. "Yeah, she's like that." He shrugged. "It will be nice to have the whole family together again." He mused. "What's it been? Four years?" 

His father nodded, putting the pan of food in the oven. "Just about." He turned and smiled at his son. "Mom's ecstatic that you're here." He said. "Her big New York artist." He winked. 

Andrew flushed a bit. "Yeah, I like it there." He played with his glass. "It's home now." 

His father nodded. "I'm glad you're happy there. Won't say we don't miss you like hell, though." 

There was the sound of the front door opening, and Andrew went to greet his mother. 

\--

He spent the next day out in Stodden Park, drawing the scenery, and, when the chance came, the image of people lounging on the grass nearby. He only stopped drawing when his stomach gave a growl, and he realized he'd been out for a good three hours. 

He walked back home and started making dinner. It was the least he could do. He prepared four portions, humming as he did. It was a very long time since he'd seen his sister, and he was looking forward to shooting the breeze with her the next day before they left for the restaurant to celebrate. 

He knew Alecia wouldn't get there until about eleven, but he wanted her to have a good dinner ready, after a full day's drive. 

When his father came home from work, he waved away his insistence that he should have left the work for him. In the end, he thanked Andrew and went to his study to work. 

Since Andrew had moved out, his father had started writing for the local paper. It was a far cry from the writing he wanted to do, but they were still words, and he enjoyed it. Or so he said. 

When his mother came home, they sat down at the dinner table together and chatted over the food. Andrew pulled out his phone to show his parents his most recent artwork, and they hummed approvingly with each piece. 

He didn't want to move back to Butte, not in the slightest. But this would always be home. 


	49. Chapter Forty-Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew tries to tell Ian what happened in his childhood. It doesn't go as he planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay in writing this chapter. Unfortunately, my mother had to deal with a hospitalization, which messed with my schedule.

Andrew had gotten back to New York the night before, and Ian treated him to a homemade steak that evening. They relaxed on the couch until they headed to bed. 

Andrew cuddled up against his boyfriend's side, resting his hand on his chest. "I want to tell you something."

"Mm?" 

Andrew swallowed and pulled back, looking at Ian. "It's serious." 

Ian frowned, watching him. 

"When I was a kid…" He started, and then shook his head. "When I was younger, I had… I went to cub scouts. And my leader… well, he did things." 

Ian furrowed his brow. "What things?" 

"Well…" Andrew swallowed thickly. "He touched me." He said, not wanting to get into the worst of it. 

Ian was silent for a while. "Oh. Okay." He said simply. 

Andrew chewed his bottom lip. "Okay?" He repeated. 

"Yeah. That's… whatever. That's finished. We gotta move on." He shrugged. 

Andrew nodded. "I suppose…" 

Ian tugged him close again. "Come on. We need to sleep." 

Andrew felt a rock in the pit of his stomach. This wasn't how he expected the conversation to go. It wasn't how it had gone with Matt. But he shifted closer to his boyfriend and closed his eyes, drifting off into uneasy sleep soon after. 

\--

They were together almost every night, and Ian seemed to have forgotten the whole sex thing, which Andrew appreciated. It was almost a month of wholesome dating and simply existing alongside each other before they started discussing moving in together. Andrew was averse to the idea, even though they were spending more time together than not. Eventually, Ian talked him around, and Andrew packed up his small apartment and moved into Ian's. 

Andrew was on his way over to pick Eve up from Sonya when he got a text from Ian. 

'Hey Handsome.' 

Andrew smiled. 

'Hey yourself. What's up?' 

A few moments passed before he received Ian's response. 

'I have something special for tonight.' 

Andrew's heart gave a flutter. 

'Oh?'

'Yeah. You'll see.' 

He grinned and tucked his phone away. 

When he got to Sonya's apartment, he let himself in and was practically assaulted by Eve as she ran to greet him. 

He laughed and leaned down, scratching her back before getting her leash and attaching it to her collar. "Come on, Princess." 

\--

When he got home, he refilled Eve's water bowl and settled down to respond to commission emails. Once those were taken care of, he worked on the illustration freelance job he'd gotten the week before until the timer he'd set went off. 

He stood up and started preparing dinner for himself and Ian, and just when the food was ready, his boyfriend walked through the door. 

"Hey." He greeted Ian, setting the pan of food on the counter to cool a bit. "How was work?" 

"Long." Ian answered, toeing off his shoes. "How was your day?" 

Andrew chuckled. "Long." He grinned, leaning back on the counter. 

Ian rolled his eyes and walked over to kiss him on the lips. "Supper smells amazing." 

"Thank you." Andrew kissed him back. 

"I'll be right back." Ian said. "Do you want me to set the table?" 

Andrew shook his head. "I've got it. You do what you have to." 

Ian pulled away, and Andrew watched him go to the bedroom. Huh. He had a small black bag in his hand, and Andrew wondered if it contained the surprise. 

\--

After supper was finished and the table was cleared, Ian took Andrew's hand and tugged him to the bedroom. 

Andrew chuckled. "What?" He asked. 

"You'll see." Ian said. "Close your eyes." 

Andrew acquiesced, closing his eyes as he let his boyfriend lead him to the bedroom. 

Ian sat him down on the bed, and let go of his hand. There was the sound of rustling plastic, and then Ian was back. "Lift your hands." He said. 

Andrew did so, keeping his eyes closed. 

There was the feeling of cold metal on his wrists, then, and the unmistakable sound… Andrew's eyes shot open. "What the fuck?" He snapped. "Why the hell did you just put me in handcuffs?" 

Ian smiled down at him and cupped his face. "Just wanted to spice things up a bit, Sweetheart." His voice was soft, but Andrew sensed there was something there hidden beneath his tone. "Maybe you'll like this better than vanilla sex." 

"Wh-what?" Andrew swallowed. "This is for sex?" 

Ian chuckled. "Of course it is, stupid. What else?" 

Andrew felt his heart thump in his chest as he looked down at the cuffs. There was a chain leading from the cuffs on his hands to one of the bedposts. He yanked at it, but found it too secure to break. 

"Fuck you, Ian, let me go." He fought to keep his voice steady. 

"Oh, no." Ian smiled coldly. "Not until you give me what I want." He stepped over and cupped Andrew's cheek. "I know you're a slut for it… the sounds you make…" 

Andrew shook his head roughly to get Ian's hand off of his cheek. "No." He spat. "Let me go." He repeated. 

Ian kneeled down and started undoing Andrew's zipper. 

Andrew decided enough was enough. This had gone too far. He reached down and tried to pry Ian's hands away, but suddenly Ian grabbed one of his pinkies and yanked it back. 

"Aah!" Andrew yelped. 

"You will listen to me." Ian said coldly. "I'll be gentle as long as you behave." 

Andrew swallowed, a hot wave rushing over his body. He locked eyes with Ian, and finally nodded. 

The other man relaxed his hold on Andrew's hand and resumed pulling down his zipper. 

There was silence between them for a few moments before Ian spoke again, now pulling down Andrew's jeans. 

"Did he tie you up too?" He asked. 

Andrew blinked. "Did who tie me up?" 

"The man from the cub scouts." 

Andrew felt another hot flash. "N-no. He didn't." 

Ian stood up and started undressing. "So you let him do it?" He asked, setting his clothes to the side. "Did you like it?" 

"Ian... Let me go." Andrew said weakly. He felt a bit dizzy. 

Without warning, Ian's hand shot forward. Andrew's head snapped to the side as the other man's hand collided with his cheek. 

"Did you like it?" He asked again, his voice more of a growl this time. 

Andrew lifted a hand - both hands, as they were in cuffs - to touch his stinging cheek. "No." He said, his throat tight. "I didn't." He said. "I don't like this." 

"I think you did." Ian said coldly, shoving Andrew back onto the bed. "And I think you _do_." He smiled, and that smile sent a chill up Andrew's spine. Who was this? This wasn't his loving boyfriend. 

"If he didn't tie you up, why did you stay?" Ian asked, spreading Andrew's legs. 

Andrew didn't answer. Andrew _couldn't_ answer. He was no longer there. He was deep in his mind, buried in the memories of Nathan. Why _did_ he stay? The question rang in his mind. _Did_ he like it? Was Ian right? 


	50. NOT AN ACTUAL CHAPTER BUT AN UPDATE

First of all!!!! Sorry I've been away. My mother got really ill with COVID and I had to take care of her. And taking so much time away got me into some writers block. 

At this point, I think it would be a bad idea to write new chapters, since it's been so long since I wrote anything new... so the plan is to revise and proof the old chapters to get back into the swing of things, probably a chapter or two a week (maybe more!) And then wrap it up then. 

Don't worry, though, I still have the original ending in mind, so nothing has changed. 

I'm sorry to the subscribers that I dropped off the face of the earth. I am reading your comments now. 

Thank you for your patience <3 


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